To think that schools might anticipate that some parents might actually have a life ?

[rookiemater]

I have just been notified about DSs preschool place, so far so good. However the rest of it has riled me terribly.

I received the letter today 1st of May. It states " We would appreciate it if you could let us know if you wish to take this place as soon as possible. If we have not heard from you by Friday 8th May we will offer the place to another child"

Is it just me or is that ridiculous that you have one week to get back or your child loses their place. What happens if you are on holiday ?

Then the next bit " We will be holding an Open day on Friday 12th June 9.45 am - 10.45am. On this morning staff will inform you of your child's start date."

Normally I would be working, but we actually happen to be away that week so cannot physically be there. No other alternatives are offered or what to do if unable to be there, which I'm sure I can't be the only one.

Now granted I'm a bit wound up by other things at the minute, but if this is the shape of things to come then I'm not looking forward to it. Is it just me or is this all a bit like I should be sitting there waiting for this and free to respond and attend at the drop of a hat ?

No, it pisses me off too. This month alone I've to find 3 days of childcare for holidays, attend 2 things at DS's school which start at 6.15, arrange an alternative pick-up for DD who won't be back from her school trip until 4pm (she normally attends afterschool club, but God knows what I'll have to do that day), and attend a meeting at 3.15 one day about my son's school activity week. What do you suppose they want parents to do about a)work or b)picking up other children from schools and nurseries?

Next month it's another 2 days holidays - one local holiday and one becuase the school is closed for polling day, despite the fact that the village hall (5 minutes walk away from the school is ALSO a polling station). Thats on tope of the various end of term concerts and sports days.

I really don't think teachers realise that we don't all get 3 months holidays a year - it's impossible to get all this time off

Well, I'm a teacher and I'm pretty glad that my children go to a school which does things in the evening, because otherwise I wouldn't be able to go. I do 6 parents evening a year (secondary) plus Open Evening and Options evening etc and although they are of course completely knackering they are part and parcel of the job.

ha ha at Mumzy's post. I should have offered up 'short shrift' when asked the same thing!! You live and learn. Instead, I once made an Irish dish of potato 'boxty' with eggs leeks and bacon, took me ages!! One of the teachers commented 'leeks are Welsh and tortilla is Spanish!'. Should have sent in a bag of Tayto.

I get more annoyed by doctors . They leave snippy messages all over the place getting pissed off with people who miss apts but from what I can see, they schedule in about five times as many people as they can POSSIBLY see in one day, so anybody who doesn't show up is definitely doing the other poor sods sitting there waiting for their appointment a favour. NObody else's time could possibly be important. The other day, I just need my son's gp to sign a form (something to do with his autism dx) and they wouldn't sign the form. I had to make an apt for him and bring him down to the surgery, where he had a massive melt down, screamed the place down, threw their fcungik lollipop back at them........... everybody gave me dirty looks, but I got my form signed. They could have done it when I'd popped in the day before, but no, they made me take him out of playschool to drag him down to the doctors.

yes they are part of the job, but it helps if not everyone wants th 8pm appointment yes? Therefore the school offers things at a certain time and will reaarange them on request.

I'm confused, Can i now choose when I take my 3 months worth of holidays then? (and its not 3 months by the way) that way I can take a day here for the nursery trip and I can take paid holiday on days when DD is ill yes?

I dont see what on earth teachers holidays has to do with all this?

'Their job is to teach your children - not to make your lives easier! If you ask politely I would say 90% of schools would offer a compromise 90% of the time.'

I agree-schools are not there to supply child care-they are there to educate your DC. People moan with evening meetings because they can't get baby sitters.You can't please everyone. I find that teachers really put themselves out to accomodate those who can't get there.

OK, almost 3 months! 7 weeks in summer, 1 day in Sept, 1 week in October, 2 weeks at Christmas, 3 days in Feb, 2 weeks in Easter, 2 days in May and 2 days in June - 86 days.

It's the fact that schools seem completely oblivious to the fact that parents simply do not have the holidays available to be able to take half days and early finishes here, there and everywhere to attend all these meetings, concerts, open days, project exhibitions, sports days etc etc etc in addition to covering the already massive school holidays.

Oh - and every Friday afternoon off here also.

What happens if you just don't make the costume/ethnic dish and are late signing the forms etc?
My DCs are not at school yet so I appreciate ignorance is bliss, but my full time working single mother just did what she could when she could and I can still read and write. Do the teachers shun you, the other mothers whisper behind their hands etc? Before you all shout at once, I know things have changed in the last 30 years, am just curious/anxious about what's in store for me when they start school...

Then your child is the only one in it's class without the full ethnic dress, handwoven in a family weaveathon the night before, and they Never Ever let you forget. You tend not to make the same mistake again - schools know they have you where they want you!

There is a teacher at DS's school who is obiously a rabid Scottish Nationalist. Every year she sends home the same letter with instructions on what they must do for the national Burns competition and every other competition which celebrates Scottishness. So many parents complained that the school now has to provide all the art materials for 300 children - what an absolute waste of our time and the schools money.

ahh now you see TheFallenMadonna - evenings are really difficult for me being on my own with the DS's.......I do wish they'd do more things in the afternoons/daytime

See you can never please everyone all of the time - so they tend to do what's best for the majority of parents and hope that the parents that can't fit into the "set" schedule have the gumption to ring up and ask for an alternative.

And Kingfix - if you don't make the costume (or at least make an effort - DS2's infant schoool doesn't have these days very often but when it does it always gives suggestions of clothes/things that people wil probably have at home already that they can "make" a costume out of so not too much effort required at all) then your child will be one of the few in the class/year/school that sticks out as not even having tried.

I'll never forget last year when DS1 was in YR2 - they had a Tudor day for all the YR2's. I "made" a costume by tucking trousers into his socks, T-shirt and found an old top that was ready for the bin and up it up the midddle to make a "waistcoat". It worked fine he was happy - we'd made an effort.

One boy in the entire YR2 came in his school uniform and when I saw him arriving the look on his face said it all - he was gutted being the only child not to look remotely "tudor". When I picked DS1 up in the afternoon I had to when I saw the his teacher had found some plain white (girls I presume?) socks from the lost property, but them on the boy, tucked his trousers and in the boy had a huge on his face.

It wouldn't really have taken much for his mum to do something - it just happens that I know that she's one of those who doesn't see why she should have to go to the effort as she's said as much in the playground before now.

ah yes but I suppose what i meant was 'can you get away with tights and one of your mum's old shirts' which is what I used to have for fancy dress for any and every theme (v versatile) or does it have to be hand-stiched calico following 2 weeks' research at the V&A?
I do think working is easier beofre they go to school though, I look ahead at the short days and long holidays and begin to draft my letter of resignation. Then you lot start saying you have to turn up at school in the middle of the day in term time too and I think there isn't a hope

kingfix - there will always be the parents who spent a fortune and hours and hours of time on costumes that could be used in the West End or Broadway, but ime there are plenty of parents who don't spend the same time/money on them and the kids don't complain

Do schools REALLY offer an alternative if you cant make the scheduled meeting/appointment?

IME the alternative is simply the same time on a different day ie a couple of years ago I got a slip home informing me my parents evening appt was 4pm. Impossible, I'm at work then. I phoned the school and explained I work full time ie Mon-Fri, I can only attend an appt after 6.

The response was that the teacher concerned didn't 'do' later appointments - but she could see me at 3.45pm the next day, or any day just before or after school. Completely ignoring the fact I am at work at those times, which I had already pointed out. So I had to miss out.

I'm sure there are accomodating schools/teachers somewhere, sadly I have been given the overwhelming impression by my Dc's school that if mothers HAVE to work, they certainly shouldnt be doing so on a full time basis.

Ah now FAQ - as I said in my first post, DC's school offers both. Hurrah for DC's school!

When did parents evenings stop being in the evening?

I have got the home phone numbers and emails of 2 of my children's teachers. I fully appreciate this gesture.

my DS's parents evenings tend to run

Junior school - 4-7(ish)
Infant school - 3.30-6.30ish

usually spread over 2 days - so they hope (I don't know whether it does or not) cater for both working parents and those who don't and would struggle with evenings.

Schools do try and make it fun which is why they have things like Tudor days-as a parent I appreciate it and think it worth a bit of effort.
For those of you haven't reached secondary school yet-be warned it gets worse! My DSs comprehensive has all parent's evenings with last appointment at 6.30pm-it was a very difficult time when I had babies at home. You also have to rely on your DC getting 5 min appointments at reasonable intervals. Target setting days are a new idea-the whole day off with a ten minute interview with parents expected to attend. Afternoon end of term assemblies-I could go on....
If you are moaning at the start you may as well get resigned-you have a long way to go!

Realistically though, they are not going to get any contribution from me, for an event where I dont have a weekend to prepare for it.

I signed up for a pre-school place, was told I would definitely get one the next year. Next year comes, i ring and am told there is no way I will get a place, but I can stay on the waiting list if I like. Six months later, they ring and offer me a place - with just 30 minutes to decide if I want it or not! I say, it's been 18 months since I visited, can I come round and take another look? No, you've got 30 minutes....

I turned down the place. I saw this as a sign of much grief ahead.

sounds like a sensible decision. That reminds me, I turned down a school that requested that my son do a trial for a few days, that stretched to 3 weeks, and then they turned him down. they offered me a place for the following september when I complained about this treatment (couldnt they have decided in a single afternoon?), but by then I had got their measure.

I would avoid any school that wouldn't allow a visit. To expect a decision in 30mins sounds like a dodgy double glazing salesman and to be avoided!!

Message withdrawn

I am not shocked by Fairynuff not doing the reading record! I have never bothered filling them in and we rarely read the school reading books anyway because we had better books at home or from the library. The teacher was happy with this as she wasn't bothered what they read as long as they were reading, and both my children are allowed by school to take whatever books they like in for reading time, as many of the other pupils also do. It isn't compulsory to write anything in the reading record books.

Most of the stuff people are talking about on this thread is not compulsory. I only do the things requested if my children are really keen for them to be done - such as signing forms for them to go on a fun trip. I don't always bother with parents' evenings either. We didn't even have parents' evenings when I was at primary school.

MillyR - my DS2's infant school asks that we just write something even if they've only read home books and not scchool ones.

Doesn't really take long - book title, date, DS2 read really well.

Perish the thought that anything related to school should get in the way of people's working lives!