to be annoyed that my close cousin doesnt want my DS (her godson) at her wedding?

[santapaws]

I know the whole "kids at weddings" debate is a funny one, but she says that if she has my DS, she would have to invite the other 19 kids of people that are coming.

She is godmother only to my son though and was chief bridesmaid at my wedding (apprantely, i dont qualify as a bridesmaid at her wedding but thats another AIBU!)

Im not demanding that he play a part in the wedding, but just not to be excluded, especially when the only babysitters i really have will be at the bloody wedding!

My mum has "sided" with her saying, i'll have a much better time without him there! I have yet to convince my (very skeptical) husband of this fact.

He will be 5 when they get married.

x

Haven't read the whole thread but YABU, it's her wedding and if she doesn't want loads of kids there then it's tough.

I think the bride is being fair and upfront. Inviting children will push her guest numbers up too high so she has decided to only invite her adult friends and family. I think that's fairer than making exceptions for some people and pissing the other parents off.

Our wedding reception was in a licensed hotel restaurant which did not allow children at all. Are you sure this is not the case? (We actually told a couple of white lies to make sure DH's two teen cousins got in, but they were invited.)

Your DS will probably have more fun staying at his friend's house as well.

YABU. It's her wedding and her choice to have a childfree wedding.

can't believe we are still debating yet another variant of this.

Everyone gets to make the rules at THEIR OWN birthday, wedding, barmitsvah, funeral,sunday barbecue, saturday picnic, trip to the shops/visit to the toilet.

At YOUR wedding/picnic/birthday/trip to the lav, you invite all the kids in the street if that is what you want.

Someone else's party?

IT'S THEIR CALL

Personally I think it's a bit sad to not have her own godchild there, as it's supposed to be a special relationship, isn't it? Also she wouldn't have to invite all the other kids - like my friend who got married recently she could just explain to the other parents that she's only inviting kids with whom she has a close relationship.

Anyway you will have a lovely time not having to look after your DS at her wedding.

However.

"She is godmother only to my son though and was chief bridesmaid at my wedding (apprantely, i dont qualify as a bridesmaid at her wedding but thats another AIBU!)" - PLEASE for your own sake don't start up an AIBU about this subject. Just don't. Because that is bloody unreasonable. You do not have a right to insist on being someone's bridesmaid.

mrs MH is that not it in a nutshell? "personally..." ?

Personally, the OP's cousin FOR HER OWN wedding , has chosen not to have 19 kids?

Well, no, it's not. I've already said above that she could easily avoid inviting all 19 children. I do think it's a pity not to have one's godchild - having said that perhaps it's because she feels she's not that close to him. Who knows? I'm guessing at the reasons, but I do think it's a shame.

Ok. First of all, i was being sarcastic about being a bridesmaid, have been there, done it and frankly dont want to do it again. I now realise i didnt come across like that!!

I also accept im being unreasonable, yes it is her day and i will respect whatever she wants because she is my cousin and i do want her to have a lovely day and have the wedding she wants and everything else ive been accused of not wanting for her.

I hold my hands up and say "I WAS WRONG". I was a bit narked at the time but all done now.
Thanks to everyone.
x

By cheekster on Tue 28-Apr-09 16:20:43
I hate the whole - exclude children from weddings.

You wouldnt exclude older family members e.g. great grandmas because they moan too much and let their mouths say anything because they know they can get away with it

Actually, some people do. My wheelchair bound grandmother (but entireley compos mentis) was excluded from my cousin's wedding on the ground that my parents (with whom she lived and who were her carers) might welcome a day ouw without her.

As if it is that easy to get someone to rovide complete care for a 75 year old on a Saturday.

jack99 - never said cost wasn't an issue for me sorry you took it that way.

Just should be viewed as part of the whole package of deciding whether you can go or not
you need to think of
present
possible dress
fuel/hotel/b&b
childcare

Once all that taken into consideration then you can make a decision as to whether you can go. Simple budgeting really, everyting in our house is budgeted for and I mean everything

We declined an invite to an Australian wedding a few weeks ago due to isssues of it being a child free wedding. We couldn't afford to go Australia and wouldn't want to have left our boys for so long irrespective of cost.

2 years ago we didn't go to my brothers wedding in Canada (was married in England but had another 'reception' for SIL's relatives that couldn't make it -again due to cost) we couldn't go as the cost was too much. Brother/sil didn't mind they understood.
With brothers wedding overhear we didn't stay in a hotel but drove home very late at night from london.

You work out the cost, look at your budget to see if it can be done then and only then do you accept/decline. If you can't do it then so be it. It really isn't anything for the op's cousin to worry about.

i didnt invite my god son (i only have one) or any other children and tbh my friend (mum of gs) was happy to leave him behind so she got relax and have a drink

I agree their wedding their decision, but it doesn't stop people feeling a bit put out.

My cousin in law officially uninvited our first child to their wedding whilst she was still gestating.

3 years later they have just had their first wedding invite that says no children and their daughter is 9 months old....and it's mid-week... And they're all how awful and inconsiderate etc.

Karma .

Should that read that I was gestating, not my unborn child????

Meh, details.