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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want DD1 to start telling me off thanks to school!

101 replies

JackBauer · 21/04/2009 22:07

walking round shops earlier and a man stepped aside to let us through so I said 'ta'

DD1 snapped at me
'You mustn't say Ta, or See ya, that's very rude, you must say bye-bye, now say it properly!'

After I stopped sniggering I realised she was deadly serious!
She also corrects me when i say 'loo' and says ' no, mummy, it's the toilet say it properly'

Opinions? If someone at school is correcting them like this then that isn't on is it?

OP posts:
piscesmoon · 21/04/2009 22:10

It is a good idea to be able to know that you use different language in different places.

MillyR · 21/04/2009 22:12

My DS has been told to say toilet and pardon at school by the head. I just tell him that the head is wrong.

I don't think it is a problem.

Doodle2U · 21/04/2009 22:13

Well I think it is on TBH. School is teaching them to use the correct words, whereas, you're using slang BUT you know when and where to use either.

Anyway, tell her it's 'lavatory'. Toilet is very common

Doodle2U · 21/04/2009 22:14

Milly, why is the head wrong?

Thunderduck · 21/04/2009 22:15

Lavatory or loo is acceptable according to Debrett's.

DisasterEggs · 21/04/2009 22:15

It's hard until you figure out the whole new school/home language differences.
I have vivid memories of being told off at school for saying Loo and What and the family having hysterics when I said Pardon or Toilet at home.

Sheeta · 21/04/2009 22:16

Sorry, my sister keeps saying 'ta' to her DD... DS already says Thanks you to people, at 19 months!! no need to abreviate it to Ta IMO.

Sorry,. I can be a bit of a snob with these things
I say Ta all the time, I just wouldn't use it with DS. that's all.

God, I'm a judgemental cow, aren't I?!

LoveMySorrow · 21/04/2009 22:16

DS does this to me too. He came out of school today and said "mum, are you an alcoholic?" I said "no, course not! why did you ask that?" so he replied "because we've been learning about drugs and alcohol and someone that drinks too much alcohol can damage their liver. You should really stop drinking ... "

ffs, I have 1 glass of wine ONCE a week! I was quite annoyed actually.

With the "Toilet" thing, I just say "nah, it's "bog", depends where you come from ... " so he probably tells his teacher that mum calls it the bog. Childish I know but I really hate this "tell your parents off" crap that school does, I'm an adult ffs, I don't need telling off.

Doodle2U · 21/04/2009 22:16

Duckie - what does Debretts say about lounge/living room/sitting room? Lounge is a no-no but long running battle here about sitting and living room!

Sheeta · 21/04/2009 22:17

don't know why I'm capitalising there. Sorry.

IneedAbetterNickname · 21/04/2009 22:17

We wouldn't have been allowed to say loo, ta, or what at home or school,(until we were teenagers anyway) neither is DS1! DS2 says huh? when he doesn't hear, cute but v. annoying!

Original poster
JackBauer · 21/04/2009 22:17

I don't mind different language being used, we live in a welsh city and are both english so we use a lot of different slang anyway, it was the way she said it. She was really shouting and angry, which makes me think she is being corrected by someone snapping at her that she is wrong.
Now that I have a problem with. She is 3 BTW

OP posts:
Original poster
JackBauer · 21/04/2009 22:19

I don't normally say ta except when I am out as it is the polite version where we live!

OP posts:
Doodle2U · 21/04/2009 22:19

"....but I really hate this "tell your parents off" crap that school does, I'm an adult ffs, I don't need telling off."

?eh? - they're teaching your child some basic facts and your child is apllying this knowledge to the world around them. How does that equal school telling the children to tell their parents off?

Thunderduck · 21/04/2009 22:20

I'll have a look and check for you tomorrow, books are packed away at the moment as we're getting a new bookshelf.
The loo thing was from memory.
According to my dp,who is a tad posh,though it should be sitting room. And always sofa never settee.

ellingwoman · 21/04/2009 22:20

If anyone is 'correcting' her it sounds more like another child than an adult to me

Noonki · 21/04/2009 22:21

our DSs get completely confused because at nursey the staff use 'excuse me', I use 'sorry' and DH uses 'pardon'.

They have given up and say 'what.'

Personally I think it is good they try and get them used to being polite.

So many people don't teach their kids to and then they mess up when/if they get into work. They need to learn that in some situations you use different language. It's the way of the world (well the UK most definately)

Doodle2U · 21/04/2009 22:22

Yes - I'm a sofa girl. I also say pudding. Miffed if sitting room is the 'right' thing though because I'm a 'living room' type!

Original poster
JackBauer · 21/04/2009 22:22

Do you think elling? I hadn't consideredf that but there are some...um...forthright girls in ehr class

OP posts:
edam · 21/04/2009 22:23

Oh yes, I have this irritating moral certainty delivered from school too. Ds comes home from school and tells me how everyone should stop driving because of all the pollution.

I have tried to point out that although there is some logic in it, a. we don't actually drive much (only at weekends and even then not very often) b. he quite likes going to places in the car. His answer is 'but everyone ELSE should stop driving, Mummy'. I sigh and explain that that is exactly the problem, everyone thinks that way. But he's not really impressed.

Use of language is another bugbear. After a day at school, ds starts talking about going to the toilet while I hiss 'loo'.

Even worse, his old nanny taught him to say 'poo poo' instead of poo. Cringe every time he says it especially in front of anyone else. It sounds so flipping twee!

Thunderduck · 21/04/2009 22:24

Living room is very common apparently. I don't care though, it's what I call it.

MillyR · 21/04/2009 22:24

Doodle - the head is wrong because he is correcting my son's speech and asking him to say words that are very loaded with negative connotations.

I actually told my son that the head was wrong and that it was more acceptable to say 'fuck' than 'pardon.'

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 21/04/2009 22:26

Good lesson for life that different vocabulary is appropriate in different places. My children know not to say 'pardon' around me, whereas at school it is considered correct.

Doodle2U · 21/04/2009 22:27

Right Milly, you have totally lost me now.

LissyGlitter · 21/04/2009 22:27

Settee in the front room girl here-even though our "front room" is technically at the back of the house!