to not want DD1 to start telling me off thanks to school!

[JackBauer]

walking round shops earlier and a man stepped aside to let us through so I said 'ta'

DD1 snapped at me
'You mustn't say Ta, or See ya, that's very rude, you must say bye-bye, now say it properly!'

After I stopped sniggering I realised she was deadly serious!
She also corrects me when i say 'loo' and says ' no, mummy, it's the toilet say it properly'

Opinions? If someone at school is correcting them like this then that isn't on is it?

If people were that keen to ape the upper classes, they'd all be marrying their cousins and lowering their IQs

Apparently the correct thing to do, if someone farts in public, is completely ignore it.

Not waft it around with your hand, or laugh, or hold your nose, or go POOOEEEE that smells, or say URGH YOU STINKY BUGGER WHY CAN'T YOU USE THE LOO or fluff the duvet up and down or....

well anything else that other, more common people than DH and me may have done.

I'm curious about the 'pardon' thing too. Though it is possible to say it in a tone that makes it sound like "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

As for ta,loo etc they are not wrong. They are different ways of saying something. It's fine to teach kids different terms in addition, but they are the correct words where I grew up. You wouldn't expect to be told that Welsh was 'wrong' and should never be used.

But you said it had negative connotations. That has nothing to do with snobbery on the part of the headteacher.

It has negative connotations that the person saying 'pardon' is a snob!

ROFL at the two-way snob connotations of 'pardon'.

"An Englishman's way of speaking absolutely classifies him
Whenever he speaks he makes another Englishman despise him"

Ain't that the truth?

Yes, which is why the school would be better off staying well out of it and letting children speak in their own dialect etc, rather than imposing the teacher's specific dialect! You do not need to say pardon in the process of learning standard English at school.

Well - I will accept requests to go to the toilet, loo, lavatory (like any child actually asks for that!), but not bog. Because I, although not a snob, am a bit prissy. Well, I accept the vocab, not the request, but that's a whole other thread. If a child wants something repeating, whether or not I accept 'what' depends entirely on tone of voice.

plump rump

my partner (who also insists we call the evening meal dinner, thus confusing our dd who goes to a nursery where that's what they call lunch) likes to show his appreciation of someone's fart / poo smell with the expression '...sew a button on that!'

• a phrase I certainly wasn't taught at my aspiring middle class and much too snobby southern grammar school.

I'd be embarrassed I'd taught my child the wrong thing to say if they said pardon, it doesn't mean the same thing that what does, hence why what is the correct thing to say and not pardon.

Ie if they're asking someone to repeat something it would never be "pardon" that should be said as it's totally the wrong word, only have to look up the meaning to see that lol.

What?

John Betjeman - How To Get On In Society

Phone for the fish knives, Norman
As cook is a little unnerved;
You kiddies have crumpled the serviettes
And I must have things daintily served.

Are the requisites all in the toilet?
The frills round the cutlets can wait
Till the girl has replenished the cruets
And switched on the logs in the grate.

It's ever so close in the lounge dear,
But the vestibule's comfy for tea
And Howard is riding on horseback
So do come and take some with me

Now here is a fork for your pastries
And do use the couch for your feet;
I know that I wanted to ask you-
Is trifle sufficient for sweet?

Milk and then just as it comes dear?
I'm afraid the preserve's full of stones;
Beg pardon, I'm soiling the doileys
With afternoon tea-cakes and scones.

I don't mind being corrected, she is quite right, I hate ta but it is catching! I also hate that she corrects me when I say loo but I can live with that, she needs to learnt about appropriate language at some point!

what I objected to, and what I am still unsure if IABU about is the fact that she got really cross, pointed and snapped at me. I want ot know if someone is correcting her like this at school (instead of a gentle 'we say this' type thing) or, if was suggested, it is more likely to be another child.

(nice seeker)

WHAT IS WRONG WITH SAYING PARDON?????

and yes i am shouting as despite the many threads on it over the years i fail to understand exactly what is so rude about it!

yes, "what" is mor U, but pardon isn't rude

or is it???

Ds corrects us, he's so pedantic!

We, of course, speak and enunciate beautifully but I don't blame the school; it's just the lecturing phase my 5yr old is going through, anxious to impart his knowledge. DD2 gets the brunt of it.

I understand this phase lasts until he's 14, so only 9 more years to go, after which he'll communicate in grunts.

This thread made me laugh. I'm a childminder and my mindees are always telling their parents off for speaking with their mouths full, or getting down from the table before everyone has finished, or wanting pudding when they haven't eaten all their dinner (and don't even mention smoking).

All their parents think it is a good thing and no-one has complained (yet).

On the other hand ... if my DD will not believe something I say, I ask her teacher to tell her and then she believes it. (and she learned 'thank you' and 'toilet' from the very beginning)

but hsmm, I am sure you say it pleasantly, so why complain, it's the fact that someone somewhere is speaking to my PFB in a nasty manner and I have gone all primal and want to know who!

(MyorNaze - it is frightfully common to say pardon)

I think the issue with saying pardon in place of 'what?' is that YOU are asking them to forgive YOU for them not speaking clearly enough or explaining things properly (much like I'm doing here! )
e.g 'Pardon me?' and it was them mumbling...

Pardon is fine for rude noises etc, but not for mishearing/not hearing...

Will google it properly. Still not in the same league as 'fuck' though.

It should be the other way around iyswim...

However dd says 'what...what...what' all the time!

It's genteel. Which is worse than common.

Ach well...it's not illegal and given the state of the world, if people say "pardon", I'm not going to judge them for it. If people want to judge me because I say it, then they've got too much freakin time on their hands and priorities up their jaxies.

Jack - have you tried asking your daughter about who might be correcting her?

Also, have you tried gently bollicking her for talking to you, her mother, an adult, in that manner?

(BTW, I'm partially deaf, so I say "Freakin' 'ell, speak up. I'm deaf tha' knows?")

Doodle - I got her normal reply 'No-one, I just say it, that's all' veyr helpful

surely pardon could be short for, "i beg your pardon, my hearing isn't as sharp as it could be, would you mind repeating that?" In which caase completely legitimate if a little overly diffident....

more to the point, has no-one got anything to say about 'sew a button on that!'? is it normal? anyone have any idea of its provenance?

Dreamy, I dunno where it comes from and the first time I came across it was on here, last night and it's made me snigger all day

Jack - that sounds like my DD. Example, "What have you done in school today?".

Answer "Nuffin!"

Low-level passive aggression and she's only 5 - she gets it from her dad