AIBU 'I feel sorry for you' for having multiple children. Well I feel sorry for you IN GENERAL YOU PATRONISING BUGGER!

[whomovedmychocolate]

Attention shop staff, particularly those of you who work in M&S. It is never helpful to say to a mum who is pushing a buggy with a baby and busy coping with a toddler in a backpack that you feel sorry for them.

Yes I am strong to be able to carry a toddler round, yes it is tiring, yes it does keep me fit. Any more questions? Any original questions at all? No, right I'll be on my way then

'You have a lot on your plate'. Well actually no I don't, I have a lot less on my plate than you apparently, which would explain the fact that my bum is quite small.

'Gosh you are a glutton for punishment aren't you?' No. Not really, I like my children. They are brilliant fun and I'm glad they don't just sit in stony silence, never asking questions or engaging in life. And frankly talking to them is a lot more mentally challenging than hearing about how 'my children walked everywhere' (yeah DD walks for about an hour a day but frankly I think it's a bit off to make a two year old walk that second hour if she's dog tired).

Honestly, I might be having a hard time, I might be having a brilliant time but one thing is for your it's no help to be pitied!

ARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

yanbu

Totally agree with you here! I ahve 4 dc's and am forever getting these type of comments

Wait until they see me fully pregnant with this one, whilst pushing the double buggy and 2 others in tow Must think up some witty replies.....

yanbu!

and wait til you decide to have more, cos then you get the classic
"don't you have a tv? ho ho ho"

yeh, real funny.

hijack: lockets, i have a name thread going atm

Perhaps they were just wanting to make conversation?

wait till you have 6 !

I don't KNOW what the problem is with these remarks actually. Sorry YABU.

YANBU.

When dd2 was tiny I popped into M&S for a couple of bits. HAHAHA.

She was crying (I have no idea why, she just did that in the pram)

I could have been in and out in 5 minutes. However every member of staff and practically every female customer (average age of 70 that day) wanted to stop me to tell me my child was crying. (like I had somehow not noticed) Some also knew she was hungry/tired etc etc.

I'm afraid I wanted to shout push off and leave me alone. I want to get my bread and tonight's dinner and go home!

My Mum always got asked if she was Catholic when she dragged all 7 of us round the shops

You sound a bit stressed out. Have you got a lot on your plate at the moment

Instead of feeling patronised why not congratulate yourself on the fact that you can cope with something that they seemingly couldn't even contemplate coping with.

Or maybe they were trying to sympathise with what seemed (to them) a difficult situation.

was she jaqueline?

Yeah, I know, it's the carrying DD in the backpack thing I think - she's actually really tall and looks about four so I guess people are confused by it. Especially when I'm carrying DS too.

Maybe I am SherpaMum

We aren't having any more.

When heavily pregnant I got 'gosh, haven't you got enough on your plate already?' from one silly cow concerned old lady (why yes madam, of course, how stupid of me, I'll pop right down to the adoption agency shall I )

I think there is call for an anger management topic on MN.

TO some extent yanbu, because it is a bit silly to say things like that to someone who only has 2 DC...

BUT otoh YABU because it's quite nice that someone actually bothered to speak to you in sentences rather than the obnoxious and clearly uninterested grunt that comes from a lot of shop staff (usually of the younger variety).
And also if it weren't shop staff as well - I never mind when random people on the street say things to me about DS because it's nice that they bother to speak to me AT ALL - gives a feeling that some of that old community spirit might be still hanging around somewhere.

And actually I'm more shocked that anyone would comment like that with only 2 children in sight.

Suzi -- No, but it did always embaress the 7 of us. It was like a reminder that our parents had sex

I remember pootling to local park last year with ds (then 3), twins belonging to weekend guests (2), dd1 (then 1) & heavily pregnant.

Local youths: Cor, have you thought of getting a telly?

But agree shop staff should probably schtum.

I've been asked that a few times,too, jaqueline. Thing is, I am. BUT that's not why I had 9. I'm just greedy really.

but why does it all have to be so negative???

why can't they say something like
"oh, what lovely children you have" or whatever.

I think that's the issue here. that if you have children, esp more than 2 it's automatically seen in a negative light