To use the disabled loo to avoid sitting on turds?

[HellHathNoFury]

I was in Sainsburys earlier and in the queue for the loo. I was desperate and waited for a while. Eventually it was my turn, and this little old lady hobbled out and so I went in and saw she had left a whole actual nugget of a turd on the toilet seat.
At the back.

I am PG and it was not something I needed to see so I backed out and legged it off to the disabled loo.

When I came out I was told off by a man in a wheelchair for using the disabled loo. Couldn't be bothered to explain turd incident. Just walked off.

AIBU?

Thanks nancy. I'm not sure that's the consensus though.

There seems to be a difference between accessible and disabled ones but I am unclear as to how you tell which is which.

Are people talking about the ones where you have a big room with ladies toilets, and a big room with gents, and a separate one with a disabled sign? Or about when you have a row of 10 and there is a queue and everyone seems to use all of them in turn including the one with the disabled sign on it? Or any toilet with a disabled sign on it? Or all/some/none of these situations?

I can't believe some of the comments on this thread. Riven, 2shoes etc I am totally with you and just sad that some people without disabilities choose to not even try to empathise, you have no idea. Someone earlier said something like why shouldn't disabled people queue like everyone else, why should having a disability make you have to get to a loo faster, what kind of ignorant question is that? I am disabled and find it very difficult on a bad day to even stand up, let alone stand in a queue, therefore a disabled toilet having a relatively short queue is a must for me if I am able to be out.
There is also the whole other issue of unseen disability, again on this thread I have seen posters refer to 'able bodied people using disabled loos' - please tell me htf you know they are able bodied? how many times, you cannot see all disabilities. Wheelchair users are a small proportion of disabled people. Yes, I get abuse (mainly from old people) for using my blue badge, for using disabled toilets etc and it's horrible to face, because my disability is not evident (though I could show you a lovely picture of my shafted lungs if you like) It's a shame we come across this ignorance on somewhere like MN.

Madhair so is it the case that people who are not disabled should not use toilets with disabled signs on them?

Thanks.

Are there really that many people with disabilities who cannot wait their turn ie the disability affecting their bladder? In comparison with the number of non-disabled mums with tots who are really desperate to go and simply cannot wait?

Surely a disabled sign is simply to alert a person with disabilities that that particular cubicle has been adapted/has aids to make it easier for them to use.

Yes Bonneville, there are many people with bladder, bowel and related issues who need access to loos with sinks and space. I've queued for the disabled loos in my local M&S a few times. It's separate from the baby rooms and the normal loos (there are loads), so only people who need it would queue for it. Last time I queued there were five people ahead of me and not a single one "looked disabled".

That's my highly scientific contribution to the debate.

Bonneville that is exactly the point

BigBellasBeerBelly there is only a difference in some people's head.

(that the sign is there to alert people etc, I forgot you posted twice)

"Madhair so is it the case that people who are not disabled should not use toilets with disabled signs on them?

Thanks".

ummm.....yes. The toilets have disabled signs on them. Does that not say something?
Or perhaps you would like my disability, so you could have all the 'perks'?
As Riven has said earlier on, disabled groups have fought for decades for things like these toilets which can make life which is v difficult that bit easier. Why should able bodied people use them? What's with the 'thanks', anyway?
Women who are pg with SPD etc I do consider to have a disability, and I also realise some disabled toilets are also baby change areas, and while this is not ideal I do recognise the need for accesible toilets for mums/dads with buggies. In general though, there should be no need for able bodied people to use disabled toilets.

I don't understand why it is wrong to nip in to a disabled toilet if there is no one else waiting, either able bodied or disabled.

Thanks madhair it's because I've been trying to get a straight answer all through this thread and people have not really been forthcoming with specifics. i thought if I asked people directly I might get somewhere.

So if there is a toilet and it has a disabled sign on it I do not use it. Being desperate/pregnant/old etc are not reasons for using a disabled toilet.

If there is a disabled toilet you should go and look for non disabled toilets or ask someone where the non disabled toilets are which helps with my example earlier.

Thank you for the straight answer.

Sorry everyone I know I've been banging on and on but I really wanted a resolution to this as I am very scared of confrontation and would hate to do the wrong thing. I would especially hate to do the wrong thing eg at the hospital which would feel much worse somehow. I must admit I have always wondered what to do in these situations, so that is a big help.

Tbh biscuit I'm not worried in that case either, it's more some of the attitude higher up this thread about disabled people having to queue just like anyone else etc. OK, maybe I'm getting a bit too hot under the collar as something touched a nerve. Bigbellas I just read your message about signage and I see your point too.
(OK I'm being garbled. Too many meds)

BigBellas - I think I was a bit harsh with you, sorry. (I'm scared of confrontation too, lol) - I just get so much abuse off people I was a bit hacked off and your 'thanks' I thought was being sarky, sorry!

What a bizarre thread - so just to clarify?? If the baby change facility is in the DISABLED loo, I am allowed to use it to change my baby yes?? But not to pee at the same time no?? I'm too put baby back in buggy, then go to find the non disabled loos leaving baby in buggy outside or balancing her on my knee or letting her crawl on the pee ridden floor just IN CASE a disabled person comes along unable to wait 30secs for me to pee?? yes?? thank you

It's a personal decision whether or not to use an ACCESSIBLE toilet because there are no laws covering them, unlike parking spaces. If there were laws covering ACCESSIBLE toilets they would ALL have Radar keys which you would HAVE to apply for and ONLY be given if you were disabled and you wouldn't be able to buy them from any branch of Shop Mobility with a DISCOUNT if you are disabled.

Actually I think the confusion lies in the wording. For example railway stations where you have to go up steps, across the track and down steps are a nightmare and impossible for diabled people of either permanent or temporary status (depending on disability obviously), people with buggies and I'm sure lots of other situations too.

So, unless the station installs some form of lift, then it becomes inaccessible to that group of people. If said lift was installed and said 'disabled' on it with a wheelchair sign, then that might put parents with their maclarens off or imply that they weren't allowed to use it BUT if it was just there, then that would be ok BUT everyone who was too lazy to climb the stairs would use the lift and that would be almost everyone I reckon!!

It really annoys me incidently when people who are perfectly able to do stairs, bung up the lifts in department stores or wherever!!!!

I thought this thread had died sometime yesterday but I have just come online to check my email and seen that really it has become heated/personal.

I am very sorry if I touched a nerve.

Saint2shoes, what's the point in having AIBU threads if we can't post on them?

I have become virtually incontinent in this PG and I had already waited a while, the queue was very long. Waiting for me is not an option these days at the best of times (search for my other threads, I have been to hosp about it).
So no, I am not disabled, but a bit...slack in the fanjo area lol(!), but to trot off, losing my place in the queue to get fresh shite cleared up would have resulted in big wet patches.

Running to the empty loo - the disabled one - seemed the lesser of the evils.

I was literally in 2 minutes (incontinent, no need to hang around..!)

As I exited, very grumpy man accusing me of abusing the facilities.

In a way, yes I was. I can't deny it. As far as he was concerned, I might have been disabled, but the fact of the matter is I am not. In the same way that people with no kids parking in P&T bays are 'abusing the facilities'. I would never use the disabled facilities usually (uh oh, the caveat - presuming changing facilities are located elsewhere).

I was just actually a bit shocked (and scared, if I am honest) of being yelled at.

I honestly had no intention of stirring a storm or raising heckles, simply trying to ascertain if anyone in my shoes would have done/felt the same, or if I was right to be yelled at.

Anyway. I see it's a mixed bag.

It is a mistake to confuse accessibility with disability - I think there should be access for all in as many situations as is practical - and there are laws promoting that desire. new buildings have to be drsigned to be fully accessible. However retro-fitting accessibility to old buildings and public spaces is an extremely expensive and complicated business.

I spent years in my role as a public transport officer for an inner london borough attending endless accessibility forums, and committee meetings where the councils various departments would be at odds with each other and local residents over installing ramps or lifts or new toilets at stations. Some people don't like old buildings 'defaced' with 'ugly' brightly colured ramps, textured pavements and grab handles etc. etc. - it is an agonising and slow process change!

I meant to add that this issue really wouldn't be an 'issue' - if local councils had not closed down so many public toilets in the last 20 years. This has lead to people fighting over a scant resource. It really is scandalous - but the expense of maintaining public conveniences are a very low priority in stretched local govt. budgets.

Can I get a final vote please? Then I will go away I promise.

My main worry is the hospital (although this is quite a common situation). In the ante-natal department there are two toilets. Both have disabled signs on them.

There are non disabled toilets on the ground floor.

Which should I be using?

what floor is the ante natal dept on BigBellasBeerBelly? how long would it take you to get from the dept you are in to the loo and back?
if you are likely to miss your apointment because you have a 20 minute journey to the loo use the ones that are there!
as i said before if the ONLY loos available are he accessable ones then it is fine to use them.

The ante natal department is two floors up, still probably looking at no more than 5 mins to get down and 5 mins back up though.

So that's one vote for downstairs .

Any more? I'm particularly interested in what the people who are disabled/are carers think as that's who I don't want to upset (obviously).

My definitive answer in your hospital situation is that you are fine to use them and that they have got the sticker on them to indicate that they are accessible to disabled people. If there is anyone waiting or you arrive at the same time as someone who is disabled, then you should offer them priority.