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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To use the disabled loo to avoid sitting on turds?

259 replies

HellHathNoFury · 18/04/2009 14:24

I was in Sainsburys earlier and in the queue for the loo. I was desperate and waited for a while. Eventually it was my turn, and this little old lady hobbled out and so I went in and saw she had left a whole actual nugget of a turd on the toilet seat.
At the back.

I am PG and it was not something I needed to see so I backed out and legged it off to the disabled loo.

When I came out I was told off by a man in a wheelchair for using the disabled loo. Couldn't be bothered to explain turd incident. Just walked off.

AIBU?

OP posts:
nancy75 · 18/04/2009 17:00

MamazonFirstladyofFilth Sat 18-Apr-09 16:43:42 Add a message | Report post | Contact poster

i think its reasonable to question someones right to use a facility that you are being prevented from using legitimatly.

if your not disabled then you don't use a disabled toilet.
if the ladies were full it wouldn't even enter your head to use the gents so why is it any different?

i take it thats in answer to my post?
personally i dont see why i should explain my medical history to somebody because i used a toilet.

saint2shoes · 18/04/2009 17:03

a lower ATM is not really the same, as a disabled person can wait as long as a un disabeld person to use one, so if you want to crouch to use it i can't see the prob.
the wider aisle are just so you can fit a wheelchair through(or double buggy, pram) once again a disabled person can wait for their turn.

toilets are different as a lot of the time part of a disability will be the fact that you can't wait to use the toilet, so if possible those people should not have to que(I include pregnant women and people with conditions that affect these things)
the average adult/child can wait.

BigBellasBeerBelly · 18/04/2009 17:03

Oh I have used the gents BTW when I have been very very desperate and the queue has been very very long.

Obviously wouldn't use a disabled toilet.

nancy your question has been answered I think - you simply say "I am registered disabled" as that is why you have the right to use the toilet.

saint2shoes · 18/04/2009 17:04

nancy75 if you have a medical condition then surely you are entitled, so you just say "I am disabeld" and glare

nancy75 · 18/04/2009 17:05

but i am not disabled 2shoes, and i would feel like i was taking the piss(no pun intended) if i said i was.

debs40 · 18/04/2009 17:05

I'm not upset but some other people clearly are and given that this disabled loo thing has been done to death before on several occasions and is bound to upset someone, I just wonder...why again?

saint2shoes · 18/04/2009 17:07

nancy75 I know you are not, but due to your condition you need quick access, so saying that just cuts the crap,

BigBellasBeerBelly · 18/04/2009 17:08

You can't lie to people about being disabled!

It has been agreed that disabled toilets are for disabled people, and that's that. If you're not disabled then you're not disabled! Being eg old or pregnant does not make you disabled.

HellHathNoFury · 18/04/2009 17:11

Then it's my fault, I should have searched for previous posts on the topic.

OP posts:
saint2shoes · 18/04/2009 17:14

BigBellasBeerBelly but if you have a condition that means you need to use the toilet quikly that disables you so......

CompareTheMeerkat · 18/04/2009 17:23

I would have got some toilet paper and wiped the poo off the seat. And then used the ordinary toilet.

BigBellasBeerBelly · 18/04/2009 17:26

But what about if you're just bursting to go and will wet/crap yourself if you don't?

That's not a condition it's just one of those things.

onagar · 18/04/2009 17:29

PMSL @ your summing up BigBellasBeerBelly.

That's only settled in your head. Out here in the world it's still a matter of opinion and debate.

Saint2shoes, you make a good point about people who can't wait at all when they need to go and sensibly include pregnant women in that. I'm not sure how people manage like that since in my experience there are usually no toilets at all when you need one, but basically I'm okay with that.

I still honestly don't think that justifies leaving it empty for ages while there is a queue for the other one though some non-embarrassing way to say "I need to go in next" would be good. I let people jump the queue in other things without worrying.

That does mean that it must be up the person to judge their need and it can never be right for a stranger to complain. It also means that just having a disabled card doesn't count. You have to have the need too. Either the urgency or the practical problem with getting in and out.

saint2shoes · 18/04/2009 17:32

BigBellasBeerBelly then you do what you think is right at the time, if someone says something you ignore them or just smile and move on, oh and you don't start a thread on mn to wind up the disabled loo keepers

BigBellasBeerBelly · 18/04/2009 18:01

But there seems to be such a difference between what people think.

Who is to say what is right?

Do I listen to you or mamazon?

The thing is I really hate confrontation and will go well out of my way to avoid it, that last thing I want happening is like some people on here who have been told off.

Why can't the rules be clear?

saint2shoes · 18/04/2009 18:03

mamazon, i never disagree with her

TotalChaos · 18/04/2009 18:04

could you not have waited for the next cubicle to come free? (yes I appreciate you were desperate, but surely it takes time to leg it to the disabled one)

sarah293 · 18/04/2009 18:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BigBellasBeerBelly · 18/04/2009 18:17

Thanks 2shoes that helps.

I often get worried in these type of situations not knowing what to do, all we need is a bit of guidance as to what is and is not acceptable and then no problems.

For eg thinking about it some more I think there are some non disabled toilets on the ground floor of the hospital so I can quite easily go downstairs and use those if I need to.

Sassybeast · 18/04/2009 18:24

Bigbellasbeerbelly - you just can't have a one size fits all solution. At a local visitor attraction, the baby change/disabled toilet are together. I went in once with 2 in nappies and had to change 2 poos. After a few minutes there was the most God awful banging on the door - scared the crap out of me and the kids. I rushed as quickly as I could and came out hassled and red faced to be greeted by an elderly man hurling abuse at me for taking up the disabled toilet. I pointed out that I needed to use the baby changing facilities but aplogised for holding him up, assuming that he was desperate for the loo. He proceeded to stand and rant for another few minutes about bloody women and bloody prams - I left and the seurity guard came over - he was still ranting minutes later when I walked to the car so I don't think he was THAT desperate. I've used the same loo since and a few times people have been waiting outside (with prams and without) and I've had nothing but polite smiles and help to hold the door open. Different people, different experiences.

BigBellasBeerBelly · 18/04/2009 18:30

That's exactly the sort of situation I want to avoid Sassy. Hence trying to work out what is what...

I suppose if in doubt just don't use it is the best option. Or if there is someone to ask then ask.

Toffeepopple · 18/04/2009 18:41

Our local disabled toilet has a breastfeeding chair in it! Now that could really take ages..... seems a mad design to me.

ForeverOptimistic · 18/04/2009 18:44

When ds was still in a pushchair I used the disabled loos because it meant I could take him in there with me. I don't consider it to be the same as using a parking space.

ChocFridgeCake · 18/04/2009 18:56

I don't think anyone should have to wipe a turd off a toilet in a supermarket in order to use it. It is not the job of a customer.

The time it would take to leave the toilets, go and find a relevant member of staff ask to, wait for the cleaning person to come along... you would be bursting. In that exception I don't think it too bad that the OP popped into the disabled loo.

Had she said she always uses the disabled loo because it has more space or whatever then that would be unreasonable. Using it as an exception for reasons of hygiene is reasonable.

A little tolerance each way where necessary and where someone is not just being selfish, is a good thing. It helps to promote an intergrated society rather than the "them and us" that we are seeking to eradicate.

HellHathNoFury · 18/04/2009 19:37

ChocFridgeCake I think I love you
And your namesake, but that's another story

OP posts:
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