Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

Feel a bit upset, DH is embarrassed by me

98 replies

Sheepishly · 18/04/2009 01:42

I bought my pair of Guinea Pigs a couple of things off ebay. They're undoor pigs and I love them to bits. I know a lot of people don't "get" small animals but I am very, very attached to them.

Anyway the sawdust we were using as bedding was injuring their feet so on the advice of the vet, I bought them some vetbed fleece off ebay to line the cage with. It had pawprints on and when I laid it in, it DID look like a little carpet. I also bought them a little "pet" sofa. It's basically a tiny sofa with little cushions on etc, looks like a real sofa but tiny, rodent sized. I just knew the pigs would love it so I bought them one on the same order to save on delivery.

Anyway when I set it out, the fleece and the sofa DH commented that it looked as though I'd set out a "living room" scene. I just laughed and agreed it did look like that. I went to get a bath and when I came back in the fleece and sofa was gone from the cage. I asked DH why and he snapped that his parents were coming around tomorow and that he doesn't want me showing him up. He then started ranting that his family take the piss enough because of me and he's sick of me making a laughing stock of us I was too shocked to reply and so left the room. He has since apologised and said he didn't mean it but that must have come from somewhere. I can't think I do to show him up but I'm going to feel really self concious now I just feel really upset over it. Maybe I am over-reacting or whatever, I just had no idea he felt that way about me

OP posts:

katiestar · 18/04/2009 10:01

I would be very concerned about this.Your DH should not alloqw his family to make fun of you. It shows a fundamental lack of loyalty

WinkyWinkola · 18/04/2009 10:05

Choke chains are cruel.

Grumpyoldcaaaaaaaa · 18/04/2009 10:10

I'm still laughing at the dinosaur, my kids want me to make outfits for our pigs.....

RumourOfAHurricane · 18/04/2009 10:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

junglist1 · 18/04/2009 10:40

Your inlaws are out of order and your H needs to develop a backbone and stop being scared of his parents. If they don't like how you choose to treat your pets they don't need to come round, tell them that if your H won't go off on one about it

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 18/04/2009 10:51

If this is true then I have a personal story to add. My ex-husband and I got rabbits when we were in our 20's, fast forward 5 years and I asked him to pick up some rabbit food from Tesco's. The checkout girl looked at him pityingly.

He came home, ranted about embarassment. I knew right then that our marriage was over. He cared too much what others thought.

And when he left me because I went up to a size 12, suffered from depression when my family died horribly his parting words were that I was not good enough for him.

I'm so glad I have remarried to a human being. But rabbit food killed my marriage -(well really it was caring too much about how he looked to the outside world but 'rabbit food killed my marriage' sounds way funnier)

AliGrylls · 18/04/2009 11:11

I think your "living room" sounds quirky and fun. If I did something like that my husband would would tell me how sweet it is. He would also tell his mother where to go if she laughed at me. I think your husband needs to get a bit of a backbone and stand up to his family a bit.

FairLadyOfMuslinCloth · 18/04/2009 11:27

Your dh and his family obviously have very different ideas about pet care than you...and whilst I am personally not into cutesy stuff for pets, your Inlaws don't exactly seem to be animal lovers...

I do think you and your dh have to have a talk, because there seems to be more to it...

WhoTookMyMemoryStick · 18/04/2009 11:41

I think you should spend the rest of the day crafting more additions to your GP's home. Wait until just before your IL's arrive and quickly chuck in a homemade telly, corner bar with optics and a hot-tub.

theDreadPirateRoberts · 18/04/2009 11:43

A nice baroque-framed mirror for the GP to amuse itself with?

LadyPinkofPinkerton · 18/04/2009 11:50

Your PIL sound ridiculous tbh. It sounds like you are DH's property and he should have control of you.

What is wrong with a fancy dress party ffs? Do these people have poles up their ass or what!

As for choke chain, they are cruel any vet would tell you that. And as for letting a cat have a litter, totally unnecessary.

Your DH needs to decide what his own opinions are and tell his family to shut up

LadyPinkofPinkerton · 18/04/2009 11:52

Your PIL sound ridiculous tbh. It sounds like you are DH's property and he should have control of you.

What is wrong with a fancy dress party ffs? Do these people have poles up their ass or what!

As for choke chain, they are cruel any vet would tell you that. And as for letting a cat have a litter, totally unnecessary.

Your DH needs to decide what his own opinions are and tell his family to shut up

Poppity · 18/04/2009 11:54

Don't let your ILs rule how you are, you've a right to be yourself, especially when your dc enjoy it too, and especially in your own home!
Your DH should have more loyalty, if you aren't the sort of people to have confrontations normally, then write him a letter about it telling him just how upset his not accepting you as you are makes you feel.

tinseltot · 18/04/2009 14:14

Don't be at all ashamed of your love for your little piggies. It is lovely that you care for them so much and want them to be as happy as possible. You are obviously a sweet, kind person. But you could do with toughening up just a little. I have to agree with the earlier posters who recommended that you tell dh to fuck off. How dare he mock your kindly intent then confiscate items you paid for! Don't let him treat you like a child. If his family mock you then tell them to fuck right off too. Sometimes tis the best thing to do !

hobbgoblin · 18/04/2009 14:21

Really cannot figure whether this is for real or not but to assume otherwise is only to mock you further.

You are very bonkers in a lovely way. This makes DH a twonk. He could have married a straight (boring) woman.

At least you don't dance naked around the living room.

You don't do you?

duchesse · 18/04/2009 14:27

He sounds terribly uptight about something. I suspect it has little to do with you or the guinea pigs.

I agree that guinea pigs are the best pets ever- cute little faces, sweet personalities etc.

My friend has a hamster fixation, and her straight laced husband even has to put with visitations from the beyond the grave and sing happy birthday to each and every one long after they've carked it (hamsters only live about 2 years). He's not got angry with her like this over them though.

Btw you do know that you're anthropomorphising them terribly don't you? They don't need a little sofa or a carpet.

tribpot · 18/04/2009 14:28

Your PIL sound dreadful. Although I think guinea pig sofa is the maddest thing I've heard of in a long while, my response would be to get the full three-piece suite, miniature telly and maybe a dartboard and put it all in the cage just before they arrive. (I'd dress the guinea pigs up Beatrix Potter-stylee as well for good measure).

Telling your dh to be 'firmer' with you is somewhat chilling. Are you a child? Is it only animals they are so oddly controlling about?

Morloth · 18/04/2009 14:33

I would find someone buying a little sofa for their guinea pigs a bit odd and eccentric and probably quite endearing.

If your inlaws don't like it they can fuck off and if your DH doesn't like it he can do likewise.

How mean. We all have our little habits. I like my plates to match, the whole lot has to be the same, if I break something and can't replace it with exactly the same thing I feel really uncomfortable and have been known to replace the ENTIRE set (always passing the old one on, not chucking it) to make myself feel better, we can afford it, it's my money and I will do as I like. The Christmas tree is the same, I like all the wrapping to match and have gone so far as to doublewrap gifts from other people so that they are the same under the tree. I am aware this is mental behaviour as are my family, but they love me and accept that I can be a bit strange sometimes about things (as can we all, my mother loves weird looking little dogs that resemble rats IMO).

What possible harm are you doing anyone by having a little living room for your pets?

OrmIrian · 18/04/2009 14:37

OP - I will assume you are real so that I can vent my spleen at your ILs and your invertebrate DH! Vile narrow-minded people! I have pets rats. They are mine, they do not belong to the DCs. My mum gave me a little wooden house for them for Christmas so clearly she is happy to countenance my idiocy.

They do not however own a sofa. Hammock yes, sofa no.

vaRIAtyisthespiceoflife · 18/04/2009 14:43

I love the little car

MamaHobgoblin · 18/04/2009 14:46

Actually, you can buy sofas for cats and dogs too. I might not choose to, but they're valid pet accessories!

I don't think this is a wind-up. I think it's a bit eccentric, but putting a sofa in the pigs' cage is quite quirky and funny, IMO.

In which case: YANBU. Your DH could find a nicer way to tell you his worries, and his family are being infantile and unpleasant.

Emily3030 · 18/04/2009 22:51

I can't understand why people think it's a wind up. Wouldn't they put a little effort in to make it funny? What's so odd about some widely available pet gear?

Someone else hit the nail on the head...he cares too much about what other people think. It's a cross between an inferiority complex and narcissism. He thinks everything reflects on him and how others perceive him. He can't see beyond his own ego. The guinea pig stuff is irrelevant, if it wasn't that it'd be something else...and you probably know that.

jeminthecity · 18/04/2009 22:56

My DP loves our guinea pigs- i asked him this morning when I saw this thread if he would ever consider buying a settee for them-
'fuck no woman are you mad?' was his reply, but I hadn't explained the reason for my question.

Does smack of wind up to me, but then, some people do love that stuff, and so fair play.

But, wasn't the point about how the OH said to the OP about how it would be another thing for him to feel embarressed about?

Then you need to talk to your OH, find out what he means
(sorry if I've missed any explanantion, haVE TRIED TO CATCH UP ON THREAD)oOOPS CAPS

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread