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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Feel a bit upset, DH is embarrassed by me

98 replies

Sheepishly · 18/04/2009 01:42

I bought my pair of Guinea Pigs a couple of things off ebay. They're undoor pigs and I love them to bits. I know a lot of people don't "get" small animals but I am very, very attached to them.

Anyway the sawdust we were using as bedding was injuring their feet so on the advice of the vet, I bought them some vetbed fleece off ebay to line the cage with. It had pawprints on and when I laid it in, it DID look like a little carpet. I also bought them a little "pet" sofa. It's basically a tiny sofa with little cushions on etc, looks like a real sofa but tiny, rodent sized. I just knew the pigs would love it so I bought them one on the same order to save on delivery.

Anyway when I set it out, the fleece and the sofa DH commented that it looked as though I'd set out a "living room" scene. I just laughed and agreed it did look like that. I went to get a bath and when I came back in the fleece and sofa was gone from the cage. I asked DH why and he snapped that his parents were coming around tomorow and that he doesn't want me showing him up. He then started ranting that his family take the piss enough because of me and he's sick of me making a laughing stock of us I was too shocked to reply and so left the room. He has since apologised and said he didn't mean it but that must have come from somewhere. I can't think I do to show him up but I'm going to feel really self concious now I just feel really upset over it. Maybe I am over-reacting or whatever, I just had no idea he felt that way about me

OP posts:
RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 18/04/2009 08:40

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MrsMagooo · 18/04/2009 08:42

That maybe so SoupDragon but it's hardly a helpful response here is it?

The issue is not about the furniture but about the reaction of the OPs DH which tbh was cruel - telling her that his family laugh at her behind her back is cruel & uncalled for.

SoupDragon · 18/04/2009 08:43

TBH, I want to know what other daft things the OP does which mean the Out In Laws apparently laugh at her (which isn't nice, I agree).

I don't think "AIBU" is the right topic for this if you don't want people to disagree.

SoupDragon · 18/04/2009 08:45

I'm posting my opinion, MrsMagooo, which I am fully entitled to do.

I'm not surprised the DH removed the stuff if, for whatever reasons, his family find the OP strange. Clearly he has stuck with her regardless of what his family thinks. It sounds like this was a step too far for him.

Simplysally · 18/04/2009 08:45

If they're your pets then your DH has no right to move things you've bought them.... but is he always like this or is there something else going on?

I think my OH would laugh if I bought a guinea pig a sofa but he wouldn't take it off them, he would just put it down to another eccentric moment on my part .

RumourOfAHurricane · 18/04/2009 08:49

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TrinityIsGettingABabyRhino · 18/04/2009 08:51

this is awful
I'm surprised you feel that way soupy

the pig sofa is ajust sdomething funny and cute
they do need something comfy to sit on

he has no right to take it out and needs to grow a pair of bollocks

Bumperlicioso · 18/04/2009 08:55

I think weird or not the OP deserves a little more respect from her DH and his family. How awful for her to thing her DH and inlaws think so little of her.

RumourOfAHurricane · 18/04/2009 08:57

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SoupDragon · 18/04/2009 09:01
  1. Clearly the OP is embarrassed enough by it to name change
  2. The DH has every right to a say in what goes in his home. If the OP has the right to put pig sofas in her house, the DH has an equal right to remove them.
  3. Clearly there is a lot of other stuff going on which has made this the last straw for the DH
  4. We do not know the whole story
QuantitativeMeasure · 18/04/2009 09:03

I agree that the DH was out of order.

But I think that designing a little 'house scene' for guinea pigs is a bit odd. In my own opinion.

SoupDragon · 18/04/2009 09:04

How can say the DH needs to grow a pair of bollocks without knowing what other weird stuff he's had to deal with and what crap he's had to fend off from his family? for all we know he's had to put up with crap like this for a long time, has defended his wife and this is the last straw.

chequersmate · 18/04/2009 09:04

Aw, I think the sofa is cute.

YANBU.

SoupDragon · 18/04/2009 09:05

If he's spent X years trying to make his family think the Op isn't strange and she makes a living room scene for a pair of indoor guinea pigs, I can understand why he's removed the stuff.

RumourOfAHurricane · 18/04/2009 09:07

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Simplysally · 18/04/2009 09:08

What has it got to do with his family? They don't live with the OP (one presumes).

My OH's Mum dislikes isn't very fond of me so I wouldn't canvass her opinion on anything to do with my house same as I bite my lip when I've been at their house and seen their decor. It's really between the OP and her DH.

SoupDragon · 18/04/2009 09:12

He has removed it to avoid giving his family something else to laugh at and thus protecting the OP from their ridicule. No one is canvassing their opinion.

honie · 18/04/2009 09:14

Why are sofas for the pigs weird? You see loads for cats and dogs afterall and they all need somewhere soft to snuggle. Sawdust can damage small animals feet, not just if it is sharp, but the constant contact with dry dusty stuff iyswim?

He could have dealt with the situation much better, what he said was hurtful and cruel, clearly unthinking. I also would be inclined to tell them to fuck off. I dont fit in with my husbands family, just very differant upbringing (not moneywise) they can accept me or not, but if he became embarresed (sp?) by me then I would question the quality of our marriage.

OP, I hope you resolve this, you should be proud of who you are, even if not everyone would do the things you do. I bet there are things they do that you wouldn't consider, but you don't judge them for it. We would all get very bored if we all comformed to a set type, how bloody bland

Simplysally · 18/04/2009 09:15

By removing it, he is saying that their opinion on things in his house matter - but the OP's opinion doesn't matter compared to his family's opinion?

It's not the family's house (or guinea pigs) so why should it matter to his family what the pigs sit on?

honie · 18/04/2009 09:17

SD, he is hiding his wife's personality from his family so they aren't mean about her, couldn't he protect her by being proud and standing up for her. He sounds ashamed and spineless imo.

TrinityIsGettingABabyRhino · 18/04/2009 09:18

like what soupy?

what else has she been 'putting him through'?
surely if her dhs family think she is weird thats their own problem

sassy · 18/04/2009 09:22

My first reaction...does the OP know how to make hamster stew?

second thought - I'm with soupy. This is a mite peculiar\eccentric. Overtly cutesy. BUT dh is being over the top with his reaction. Put the sofa in if you must, but expect teasing.

MarmadukeScarlet · 18/04/2009 09:26

Trinity, I agree that they need somewhere soft to sit, but I mean HAY not upholstry.

I love all my animals and am really soppy with them, but this is way beyond even my eccentricities.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 18/04/2009 09:28

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TrinityIsGettingABabyRhino · 18/04/2009 09:29

now i think your all being mean
a little light hearted teasing is fine but acting embarrassed about his wife quirkyness
is just mean