I know I'm being unreasonable but I need you to help me think of a reason why ds shouldn't spend a week in the summer with his medling granny please.

[FluffyBunnyGoneBad]

A bit of background, MIL (kind of, I was lucky not to marry ds's dad) has always been a meddler, she went into ds's school and asked them for a report because I didn't give her any info about ds as 'I was jealous that he got married', she dragged ds into a card shop to buy his (absent and previously spent more time in the pub then with ds) a fathers day card without asking me, I've witnessed her slap ds's cousin across the face for dragging a brolly on the floor (swears blind she doesn't hit children though), she 'forgets' to collect ds from school, constant criticism (what school I should send ds to etc), likes to meddle etc, told me ds's dad was loosing his job so the maintenance would stop (not true), there's alot more but I wouldn't want to bore you.

She only see's ds a few times a year but wants to take ds to see his aunt for a week in the summer. He's not been away from me any longer then one night, I need to get out of this. ds doesn't like her as she takes over and drags him around at her 99 miles an hour speed. Please help.
TIA.

FAQ no theres no need to get the flannel jim jams on just yet...lol

I'm not - just can't be arsed faffing around with a knobhead such as yourself - much more sensible people to talk to on other threads.

ta taaa

The grin was to fluffybunny - right I really AM off to bed. Can't even be arsed to read all this sparring and what-not!

Honestly fluffy you would have thought you had your adrenaline rush earlier, bitching...

It did start off quite sensibly until the troll that called me a moron for something he/she made up.

I think FAQ was talking to the troll.

Of course it will and you can believe this if that makes you happy Off to bed with you now. Night.

And to get back to the OP.

Hi Ethyl, thanks for offering to take John on holiday but to be honest he's a bit old to be spending a week cooped up with you and auntie Mavis. He's so busy playing football/nintendo/smoking on the park with his friends these days. Do feel free to pop round for an hour with auntie for a quick visit one day.

Do make sure you speak to the school, and follow it up in writing if you don't want your sons reports to be passed on. In my kids school they only have to send reports to the primary carer(s). (And will only forward copies to Xp's with written agreement or court order. The enrolment form is most interesting)

Thankyou elfinblast.

S'ok FluffyB

Your boy sounds great. I'd not worry too much about what you do over the summer.
If you can rent a villa then great, but if you stay home then make the most of it. An average 6 weeks might not stick in his memory at that age but 1 crappy week will.

I see what you mean. Thanks.

coming bck and reading this in the 'cold light of day'.........me thinks we gto hit (again) by the lovely infamous troll we get hit with every-so-often.

especially the way it talks to us in a pretty familiar way (not sure about others, but I am not overly keen on my name being shortened by a newbie, especially when said newbie is being so rude).

lets hope the bridge fell down last night once it was tucked up, and it is quished beyond all possible resurrection (altho somehow I doubt it!)

MN have been made aware so I shall see what heppens.

Thankyou psychomum.

Fluffy! omg, do we share the same xmil??

My xmil's precious son never married me, but when I had enough and left him, I got the blame for everything. My xmil walked out on her family for far less when her children were teenagers, and left them all a bit screwed up. She did well out of the divorce, and yet, when her son gives me nothing for his children, she says gleefully "you'll never get a penny out of him". 2 children under 6 and she's proud of the fact that he gives us nothing.

And YET ......she wants to see them. Demands it no less. Despite having been toxically vile to me. No way on earth would I let her see them unsupervised. I think you've been too good so far. My xmil can see the chldren if she arranges it with her son, to see them when they're with him but because nobody in their family communicates, she's rowing with him about somehting and blaming me!!! HOnestly, to this day, 22 months after I left her son, she sends me snippy little texts messages telling me I left because I wanted an easy life (well, I wanted a happy one). Her son assualted me and verbally abused me and he knows that. He's said sorry, and although I can never really forgive or forget, I find that I hate her more because she won't acknowledge that it happened. He'd never come right out and say to his mother, yes I did treat her badly no wonder she left! so, she'll always, always hate me and blame me for "taking her grandchildren". She's told me that it's a tradgedy that they're being raised by a loser like me.

I haven't really got any advice for you. I just wanted to give you a pat on the back and say that if there's one thing worse than a mad x, it's the mad x's mother.

OMG, you'rs is worse. Mine steals letters ds has written to his dad and posts them without telling me. There was a time when his dad didn't see him so she would take ds out for the day so he could spend it with his dad and she didn't tell me. She's always making plans for ds behind my back (school, 'family' get togethers (I know I'm not family but she should at least tell me/ask me first I think), she's been through my notice board in the kitchen, she's collected him from school on a couple of occasions without me knowing, I've had a call when on the bus to say she's collected him (I quickly put a stop to this). Dad doesn't really care, he never writes to ds, sends no birthday card, see's him max twice a year, the longest gap was 2 years without a visit, he rarly calls ds (some christmas, used to be birthdays), I do get maintenance but I would rather ds had a stable relationship with him instead. I feel like he's missing out but you can take a horse to water but can't make it drink so they say. It's been like this for 10 years.

It's really difficult putting up with this, I don't know why I do it to be honest. I wanted ds to get to know his family at the expense of my family, my dad died last year, I would take ds to see him in the hoildays, I would phone him up but I feel like I've neglected my own family so ds could get to know his dad's, his dad left him, his uncle can't be bothered to send him a birthday card or phone to see how he is, gran's a loon and he only see's his grandad in the holidays. I've spent 10 years raising my son like this with little help. I should have moved home. Ah well.

As you and the child's dad were not married she has no rights. Any time she gets to spend with him is down to you, I think you should ask DS what he would like and if he says he would not like to go then say no and stick to it.

Oh yes, the thing abotu the school reminds me.

My children's Dad approached their school looking for reports. I might have sent them to him if he'd ASKED, but the way he tried to get them from the school without telling me pissed me off. How dare he!? The 'father' on 90k a year who won't contribute a penny!

My children's principle hummed and hawwed and was going to give him reports, but luckily my solicitor told him that not only was he not obliged to, but he had no right to do so against my wishes !!

If and when he ever asks me for a report I'll send him a copy.

The odd thing is, I always send him a copy, he rarly asks about ds though, and show the reports to her anyway so there was really no need for her to do this. I used to invite her to events (christmas plays etc) at the school as I wanted to make her feel included. Every time I see her she asks about how he's doing at school, she has an obsession with ds's academic side, 99% of the christmas/birthday presents have been of an academic nature (star charts, bird books etc). He is a very bright child but this does get a bit , even the Lego is technical so he can learn something rather then have fun. I am grateful for this but he's a child aswell, he does need to have fun.

My kids don't see my MIL since I let my 6 year old go on holiday with his Dad and stay in her house and my boy got ill, with a high fever, and they carried him down to the beach in burning hot sunshine! I was petrified, looking up sunstroke on the internet etc. Her son who was 11 at the time was also really nasty to my son, told him he would kill him etc. If this woman can slap a child across the face you have EVERY right not to want your child left with her. You don't need to make an excuse up because you are the mother, not her, but I usually give the pageboy at a wedding excuse (lie)in extreme circumstances.

I'll try that. I've done the playdate and illness to death. Thankyou.