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AIBU?

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Original poster

For feeling guilty for using a disabled loo

67 replies

Reallytired · 10/04/2009 17:59

I am 38 weeks pregnant and I have SPD. I can walk about 20 metres, but its agony. This is a temporary condition that will hopefully disappear in two weeks time. I am not registered disabled or consider myself to be disabled. At worst I am in a similar position to someone with a broken leg.

I went to a cafe today and I used the disabled toilet because I could not face the pain of climbing up the stairs. There was a disabled person waiting to use the loo when I came out and I hope they didn't mind too much.

I would not take the piss use a disabled loo under normal circumstances.

OP posts:
madwomanintheattic · 10/04/2009 18:02

lol. the only time i mind is when i'm standing outside with dd2 in her wheelchair crying because she needs a wee and a workman saunters out doing up his flies

i'd have laughed tbh x

MadameCastafiore · 10/04/2009 18:02

I use a disabled loo to fit the pushchair in when I am out with DS and have nothing wrong with me so I think you were more than entitled to use a disabled loo in your condition!

TotalChaos · 10/04/2009 18:04

yanbu. world of difference between being in too much pain to go up the stairs, and can't be arsed.

everGreensleeves · 10/04/2009 18:16

I was in a wheelchair for 6 months when I had ds1. I wasn't registered disabled, but I used disabled facilities and didn't think I was doing anything wrong.

ItsMargotBeaurEGGarde · 10/04/2009 18:18

That's understandable. If anybody berated a heavily pregnant woman for using a disabled loo, they'd ahve to be an uptight ass.

herbietea · 10/04/2009 18:19

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Longtalljosie · 10/04/2009 18:24

Effectively, at the moment, you are disabled (sorry if that's a depressing thought!). If you could only walk about 20 metres without pain in normal, non-pregnant life you would in all probability get a blue badge for your car. So if I were you, I'd consider myself quite entitled to use the necessary facilities. YANBU.

lou33 · 10/04/2009 18:31

if you came out of the loo when i was waiting to take ds2 in (he uses a wheelchair), i would not be cross given the cicrumstances

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 10/04/2009 18:42

I'm suffering from PGP 14 weeks later (or three and half years really as it's from my first pregnancy, not this one) and I do use the disabled toilets, the crutches help my case though! If you need them that's what they're there for.

As for two weeks time, it takes up to ten days for PGP to go, when your hormones stabilise. For that reason it can carry on longer if you breastfeed, in some cases (like herbie) it can be permanent. If it does carry on make sure that you are looked after properly, some doctors forget about it because they see it as a "pregnancy condition".

oldraver · 10/04/2009 19:01

Slightly off topic TINK so your saying that B/F delays SPD returning to noral(ish) ??

I have finally managed to get Physio I have been asking for for 4 1/2 odd years for back problem. I did see maternity physio but she said she couldnt treat while pg. I had SPD tho not too severe. My physio has found problems with several vetebra(not that I'm glad but I've been fobbed off for so long you begin to think your imagining it)Also he say my pelvis at the rear has not gone back. No mention of b/f contirbuting

TheHedgeWitchIsNAK · 10/04/2009 19:09

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Original poster
Reallytired · 10/04/2009 19:19

Seriously, does bf delay SPD returning to normal.

I breastfed my son for two years and I am hoping to manage at least a year this time.

OP posts:
TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 10/04/2009 19:21

oldraver, it can because it can stop your hormone levels returning to normal. I think they don't mention it because of the breastfeeding rates being as low as it is.

I don't think it's my problem I've been breastfeeding 10 months less than I've had PGP. I had a fall in my first pregnancy at 19 weeks and lost my baby five days later (they say unrelated) so I didn't breastfeed her. The fall sparked off PGP and I didn't get better. Now 3 and half years later I'm on crutches and waiting for my GP to get their act together on treatment.

Peachy · 10/04/2009 19:23

You have SPD fgs woman! I remember it well and you should use the disabed loo.

I know how you feel- the SN crowd nagged me into using the Uni lift becuase I felt too guilty- but heck girl, use it and I hope the baby comes soonest so you feel better again

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 10/04/2009 19:23

It doesn't affect everyone who breastfeeds Reallytired. Tink's godmother has PGP so bad she's been told another pregnancy will put her in a wheelchair for life but she breastfed her children and on the last one (I didn't know her when her others were little) she was off the crutches straight away.

ickletickle · 10/04/2009 19:34

well i would say dont feel guilty. but when i was heavily pregnant, knackered, and parked in baby spaces at supermarket i got berated on mumsnet with a comment along the lines of "what were you doing in a supermarket you cant be that heavily pregnant." like pregnant women dont have to go to supermarkets or something.

Peachy · 10/04/2009 19:41

LOL ickle- I did a weeks shop bieng transferred (by DH, ambulances rationed ) between hospital maternity units with ds1 (hard, me )

oldraver · 10/04/2009 19:48

Tinks... Lol I had the 'dont you think its time to give up b/f' speech this week form a new young doctor. Her started to quote "who guidlines suggest 6 months..." but I stopped him in his tracks and said it would happen when it did. DS2 IS 3.3

Ronaldinhio · 10/04/2009 19:50

yabu to feel guilty in anyway

herbietea · 10/04/2009 21:14

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2shoestrodonalltheeggs · 10/04/2009 22:13

to the op yanbu
you are temp disabled so you should use it.

2shoestrodonalltheeggs · 10/04/2009 22:14

(can someone tell me what spd is please)

Sidge · 10/04/2009 22:22

I have a disabled daughter and wouldn't be remotely bothered by you using the disabled loos. I also had SPD so you have my utmost sympathy, it's so debilitating.

IMO disabled loos are toilets that are suitable for use by disabled people, they are not solely for use by disabled people.

2shoes - SPD is Symphsis Pubis Dysfunction - the pubic bones become very unstable under the influence of pregnancy hormones and it makes most movement very painful and difficult.

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 10/04/2009 22:37

2shoestrodonalltheeggs SPD is Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction, it's the old name for PGP which is Pelvic Girdle Pain.

When you are pregnant hormones make the fused bones in the pelvis (like the soft spots on the head) soften to make birth easier. For some women they become too relaxed and unstable causing them problems. Most women will have some sort of pain or discomfort but for some women it is debilitating.

The reason they've changed the name is because it doesn't just affect the symphysis pubis (the pubic bone) there are five joints (the SP, inside the hips and where the pelvis joins the spine, your dimples) that can be affected and they're all part of the pelvic girdle.

Reallytired, Herbie is right, it does vary, not everyone who breastfeeds will find it doesn't go away so please don't worry about it. The majority of women get better by ten days after birth.

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 10/04/2009 22:43

There's a huge difference between using the disabled loo because you are in pain and using it because you're a lazy arse (though even in the latter case, if there is no one else in sight and you know you're going to have a very quick wee it's not exactly the worst of sins).

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