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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

For feeling guilty for using a disabled loo

67 replies

Reallytired · 10/04/2009 17:59

I am 38 weeks pregnant and I have SPD. I can walk about 20 metres, but its agony. This is a temporary condition that will hopefully disappear in two weeks time. I am not registered disabled or consider myself to be disabled. At worst I am in a similar position to someone with a broken leg.

I went to a cafe today and I used the disabled toilet because I could not face the pain of climbing up the stairs. There was a disabled person waiting to use the loo when I came out and I hope they didn't mind too much.

I would not take the piss use a disabled loo under normal circumstances.

OP posts:

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 11/04/2009 22:42

I changed shoes after seeing the physio and was in agony with my back, shoulders and arms. It took me awhile to realise I was shorter and it was kicking my arms out each time I stepped. Also if you don't use them properly you put pressure on your back and don't put your weight through right so it is counterproductive. I wasn't taught to swing on them, I was told to put them forward first then take my weight through them as I stepped. You also need to be putting them forward the right amount so that you are not over reaching. The three-beat step is very difficult because it's not how we're used to walking.

THW I saw my physio at 9 weeks pregnant, a week after I booked in at the hospital and hadn't even seen my CMW yet. I had my crutches at 22 weeks.

BTW, if you have already seen the physio in your pregnancy and feel that things have got worse and you need the crutches then you can just call them, no need to get the hospital to do it.

Also painkillers. Start with paracetamol and take it like a course, regular intervals every day. If that doesn't work then swap to co-codamol. If that doesn't work then co-dydramol. Painkillers don't touch that type of pain unless you take them regularly, not just when it hurts. I keep getting told "it's not pain relief, it's medication for your back"!

MrsMerryBunnyGirlHenry · 11/04/2009 22:57

Good grief, I think it should be a heavily preg woman's right to use a disabled loo if it's the nearest toilet/ if there's a huge queue in the non-disabled loos - I once went to a gig at 8 months preg and the loo queues were 20 people-long. Rather than push everyone aside claiming that my bladder was the size of a peanut with my 8lb baby pressing on it, I just waddled to the empty disabled loo.

YANBU at all.

notcitrus · 11/04/2009 23:18

You're temporarily disabled, so use it. When you get better (in my case within a month of birth), don't.

I can recommend www.wheelfreedom.com for anyone needing to hire a decent wheelchair (light, folding and self-propelling). My hands are buggered so couldn't use crutches, but a walking stick helped a lot (availble in every chemist), especially to ensure I got seats on buses!

ABetaDad · 12/04/2009 08:51

TinkerBelles - my wife got none of that advice either about to use the crutches.

She got them every late, very little help from the GP and no training on using the crutches and one session at the physio.

Great - no wonder she damaged herself and has had pain for the last 7 years.

She can walk unaided but there is so much else she cannot do.

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 12/04/2009 22:41

I think, from what my physio has said, that things have gotten better in the past few years, linked in with the name change too. I got one session which was a group session telling us how to look after ourselves basically - there's not much they can do for it and they've found that if they start doing something it just gets worse a few days later. When things got bad for me I called them up and was told to come in that afternoon with someone to help me. I was bent over like an old lady and shuffling because I couldn't lift my feet (a few days before I couldn't use the toilet or go to the kitchen because my OH left the vac across the hall and I couldn't step over or move it).

GPs are terrible as far as this condition is concerned, mine gave me terrible advice and my physio was really angry with him - fortunately I knew enough to ignore him.

Is your wife under anyone now?

ABetaDad · 12/04/2009 23:01

TinkerBelles - no she just struggles on because her GP said it would go away after she had DS2. Before I came on MN she had no idea that there was any kind of help available. She thought that it was osmething she had to put up with. Sometimes her legs/hips lock in bed and I have to physically lift her legs into the right position before she can move. She struggles to stand in one position for long and she cannot run around with the kids or walk very fast.

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 12/04/2009 23:09

She needs to get looked at. Don't complicate things by mentioning PGP, just say "this is how it is", some doctors don't understand it.

No one should have to live like that without help.

Kitstelsmum · 13/04/2009 08:54

Hope your SPD goes away soon Reallytired! I had it really bad too (crutches and wheelchair during pregnancy and for a bit afterwards) and if anyone had told me off for using a disabled loo they would have been walloped with the crutches!

I'm now trying for DC2 and a bit scared how it will all work out - i've heard that it gets worse with each pregnancy (also i never recovered 100% - still get pain during period/when i overdo exercise etc). Anyone got any experience/tips? (never heard of the turmeric supplement, what does it do??)

Fairynufff · 13/04/2009 14:42

A disabled loo is surely just a toilet adapted for the needs of wheelchair users etc. but it doesn't mean other people can't use them too. I always use them because I'm always trailing 3 kids with me and it's easier to fit us all in. I feel no guilt at all.
YANBU

BouncingTurtle · 13/04/2009 14:59

I got shouted at by a disabled woman when I came out of the disabled loo. I pointed out that it was also a baby change, and I had needed to change ds's nappy. She still had a go!
OP YANBU, but I'm sure there was a thread on here that mentioned that you can get assessed for things like a disabled badge if you have SPD? Anyone else know about that?

2shoestrodonalltheeggs · 13/04/2009 15:31

Fairynufff

ChippingIn · 13/04/2009 15:35

Pulls on helmet and takes cover.....

Shambolic · 13/04/2009 15:47

I never know what to do when there is only one toilet and it has a disabled sign on it.

I got told off at my doctors surgery for asking where the non disabled toilet was.

They said just to use it

2shoestrodonalltheeggs · 13/04/2009 17:18

if there is only one, it probaly just means it is accesible for a disabled person, rather than being just for them iynwim

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 13/04/2009 20:35

You can get a temp Blue Badge now for these sort of conditions but you have to get your own GP to fill it in, so helps if they are sympathetic.

Sidge · 14/04/2009 11:10

I think that depends on where you live Tinkerbellesmum - our County Council will only award Blue Badges for permanent and substantial diasability and not temporary conditions. They class 'temporary' as a condition expected to cause disability for less than a year.

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 14/04/2009 15:05

There was a change in the law recently that made it possible to get temp Blue Badges so they should all be giving them out now.

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