Seriously, is it me, or is it him?
Me: Hello, I just listened to all your answerphone messages and I understand that there is a backlog in paying out the HIP grants, but I just wondered if there was any way I could check that you had actually received my claim form in the first place, even if it hasn't been paid yet.
Him: No there's not. Thank you for calling. Goodb....
Me: (interrupting) You see, I put the claim form in the post to you on March 2nd, and I see from the form that the claim is invalid if you don't receive it within 31 days of the date the midwife signed it, which was also March 2nd. So if you haven't received the form, I would need her to sign another one.
Him: That's correct, if we don't receive the form within 31 days of the midwife signing it, it's not valid.
Me: Yes, I know. That's why I am asking if there is a way to check if you've received it yet.
Him: When it's been processed and paid, then you'll get an acknowledgement.
Me: OK, but I am not asking if it's been processed and paid, just if there is a way to check if it's been received.
Him: Have you had an acknowledgement? (sounds surprised)
Me: No. But, you see, that's not what I'm asking. I know you haven't paid the claim yet, because there's a backlog, I get that. I just was trying to see if there was a way of telling if you have received it.
Him: If you haven't had an acknowledgement, then we haven't paid it. But you're free to call back at any time for an update.
Me: But, if I call back for an update, won't you just tell me the same thing as you're telling me now?
Him: Yes
Me: So I still won't know if you've received the form, or if the form has got lost in the post?
Him: No
Me: So do you have a better suggestion for how I can track the progress of my claim?
Him: Well, maybe phone back next week
Me: But I thought we just established that if I call back, you'll just tell me all the same stuff again?
Him: Yes, but next week the systems will be up and running
Me: Hang on, so you haven't even got the systems that will log and process the claims set up yet? You mean, the computer systems?
Him (sounding exasperated with me): YES
Me (feeling a bit weak and helpless): OK, thanks, bye.