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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think 'oh well she'll cope' about DD's friend when we go out to Prezzo for a meal?

124 replies

OrmIrian · 07/04/2009 11:26

DD's is taking 4 friends to Prezzo for a meal on her birthday. She is looking forward to it. It's her favourite place to eat and still feels a little bit grown up to her. One of her friends is very fussy about food. To a very difficult extent. TBH I had forgotten about this when I arranged it. But her mum reminded DH when he met her in the street yesterday. She won't eat pizza or pasta apparently. In fact the only place we could have taken her to eat would have been MacDonalds

I am tempted to say 'sod it' and hope she can find something to eat when she gets there. All the other girls are looking forward to it. Or should I cancel? I really don't want to.

OP posts:
Original poster
OrmIrian · 07/04/2009 15:24

squilly - I haven't bashed the mum in question. I have a lot of sympathy for her. Regardless of the reasons for it, life must be really hard.

OP posts:
Original poster
OrmIrian · 07/04/2009 15:26

Thanks moondog. I'll use the starving children line on her and see if that helps

OP posts:
Rhubarb · 07/04/2009 15:28

What is Prezzo?

squilly · 07/04/2009 15:28

Moondog

Perspective is great for everyone, but we all have our own issues and we can't compare our little issues to other people's larger issues and say, oh well, it doesn't matter then. In that case, why worry about where the money to pay for bills is coming from? Or how our kids are doing socially or educationally? Jeez, get some perspective, they're lucky to be alive and in the western world

We all have our worries and I CAN believe people worry about this kind of stuff...It's the stuff of life and parenting and doesn't preclude a good sense of social responsibility.

PistachioLemon · 07/04/2009 15:29

YANBU and I agree with others that it might even expand her horizons. I definitely don't think you should provide something different for her to eat or change venues.

squilly · 07/04/2009 15:29

Oh and thanks OrmIrian. I didn't think you were mum bashing, but I know some mums do and it does kinda grind after a while.

Original poster
OrmIrian · 07/04/2009 15:33

Prezzo is an Italian chain restaurant. Several steps up from Pizza Hut.

OP posts:
WhoTookMyMemoryStick · 07/04/2009 15:36

I can completely understand food fussiness. I cannot understand any parent neglecting to teach their NT child how to eat with cutlery.

Gorionine · 07/04/2009 15:39

first I do not know what "Prezzo" is, I can only assume it is an Italian type of restaurant but might be wrong.

I had to smile because in your Op you say that the only place that would have been ok to take her to was MacDonald's and in a further down post ou go My poor brains cannot compute those two info together!

FWIW I do not know of any food place that would not serve a portion of chips!

Gorionine · 07/04/2009 15:43

Sorry, re reading the thread I realised I got thre wrong end of the stick WRT your comment! It means that the mum as tried unsuccessfully to widen her DD's food habits, not that her idea of varied food id MacDonalds doesn't it?

Original poster
OrmIrian · 07/04/2009 15:43

Well you can try to expand her diet. And then when you've had enough of bashing your head against a brick wall you can go to MaccieD's

OP posts:
compo · 07/04/2009 15:46

yanbu

some people!

dinosaur · 07/04/2009 15:46

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

squilly · 07/04/2009 15:57

DD ate finger food for so long, she's still not great with cutlery

She never had to cut anything up...when she tries meat, it's in small quantities so she doesn't get overfaced, so she's generally been able to get by with a fork. We are just (double ) trying to get her to use a knife. And yes, I'm vaguely mortified by the whole situation...the fussy eating, the lack of cutlery skills, the whole thing

WhoTookMyMemoryStick · 07/04/2009 16:10

Squilly, does she like dressing up? Maybe if you all got dressed up for dinner, made some menus and put out nice glasses and napkins etc you could role model cutlery use in a really fun, exaggerated way.

She might find the concept of 'this is how grown-up people act' a novel one to get involved in especially if she helps set up the whole meal. Same sort of eating as you do normally just with a 'special' twist.

squilly · 07/04/2009 16:45

Hi whotookmymemorystick...sadly she's a grunge girl. Dressing up is no longer cool, but I have started to tell her that this is what she'll need to do when she goes to university. That's something she really wants to do so I keep saying 'you'll have to eat pasta with sauce and pizza if you're going to university' and 'you'll need to know how to eat in nice restaurants when you go to university'.

Hopefully nothing will come up between now and then that makes her go, pah, university spooniversity....fingers crossed

She just doesn't like eating much, so any kind of, ooh, this is grown up dining doesn't cut much ice with her.

I love the idea though...just wish it would work

brettgirl2 · 07/04/2009 16:53

I think you are fretting way too much.

I was a really fussy eater as a child and tbh being in a different environment often made me try/eat things that I would just refuse at home.

At the end of the day even if she eats nothing other than a bit of bread and ice cream it won't do her any harm will it?

Original poster
OrmIrian · 07/04/2009 21:16

brettgirl - DH said the same. He thinks the mum was rude to mention it, and that we should just go and let her fend for herself.

DH is a bit more 'direct' than I am....

OP posts:
georgimama · 07/04/2009 21:21

Your DH is right.

MargaretMountford · 07/04/2009 21:26

I'd say 'sod it' - similarly ds had a 9th bday meal at Pizza Express where one friend didn't eat tomato or cheese (can't remember exactly as it was 3 yrs ago nearly) - in fact I don't think he ate pizza or pasta - but he managed on garlic bread and bits of salad and pudding -and they all had a great time ! Hope your dd has a fab birthday

Original poster
OrmIrian · 07/04/2009 21:29

OK

Next question! Do I sit there sipping a coke? Or enjoy a glass of red and some olives? TIs only me. DD doesn't want the rest of the family tagging along.

OP posts:
MrsFreud · 07/04/2009 21:38

Orm...I suggest you ring up the mum and ask her what her fussy daughter DOES eat on the menu, rather than what she doesn't - that would be far more useful!!!

sobanoodle · 07/04/2009 23:29

Orm I think you'll need the red wine and olives. The child will survive fgs !

georgimama · 08/04/2009 09:17

Oh go with the wine. You'll need it.

giantkatestacks · 08/04/2009 09:32

If they are that old though surely the girl will have to take some responsibility for her own eating and find something on the menu she will eat?

Am a bit about allowing her just to eat icecream as well if shes already overweight. But can obv see that you want your dds party to be fab...difficult.