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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

EBAY WIDOW when baby's dad visits

91 replies

farmgirls · 05/04/2009 22:35

I'm 7 months preg with a 2 yaer old. The children's father doesnt live with us. He visits irregulrly, but mostly Fri nights - Mon eves.

However, the majority of his time is spent on the PC, else he switches it off about 7pm (it goes on around 10am non-stop)and then opens his wine or beer, so is passed out drunk after an hour or so then sleeps til gone midnight, then sits on the PC til the early hours of dawn again.

If I ask, he will take me shopping or put a blind up as long as I haven't 'upset' him during the course of his visit so he isn't in a mood.

Every so often he'll play with our 2 year old
for 10 mins or so, usually while the kettle boils or on his way to the loo.

He will also take her downstairs with him when he gets up in the morning so I can get a lie-in, but even then he'll just put a DVD on, leave her to watch it, and go and sit on his computer (my computer).

I say to him, surely you're here to help relieve me of parenting duties for a few hours each day, as I do the lion share the rest of the time? But he uses my house like a hotel, brings laundry, fills up my fridgefreezer with his food so there's no room for my own food, sits on the PC, gets drunk, then passes out on the sofa. He doesn't fit much 'shring prental duties' into the rest of the time.

Am I wroong to expect him to do more when he's here, for example he could take the toddler out to the park for a few hours, perhaps hang some washing out for me or do a bit of hoovering (feeling v. tired now I'm 7 months preg).

I have no friends or family around, so I'm very dependant on him for things like shopping and help (I don't drive and live rural).

I don't want sympathy, just blunt views. If I'm definately expecting too much from him, please tell me!

OP posts:
AnyFuckerStealsHerKidsEggs · 05/04/2009 23:30

what is this interest of which you speak yurtgirl?

< starts to feel a bit nervous >

Is it of a deviant sexual nature or more about a sharing of the bodily fluids minds ?

allthoseeggsaremine · 05/04/2009 23:31

Farmgirl might genuinely be having problems and want to talk about it, well she must do otherwise she wouldn't have posted i suppose!

You need to put your foot down abit, not let him treat you like a fool, i know thats easily said but surely you could start with small things. Tell him the computers broken, take the fuse out and see how long he sticks around...??

Is he a really bad hoarder?? If so he must have problems, surely??

Yurtgirl · 05/04/2009 23:32

Now you see there was a reason for me to join this thread after all - I am seriously cracking up now, cos you are making me laugh out loud!!!!!!!!!

deviant sexual interest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Noooooooooooo

Alternative yes, deviant um no!

AnyFuckerStealsHerKidsEggs · 05/04/2009 23:33

aww, shame

is it basketweaving?

Yurtgirl · 05/04/2009 23:35

allthoseeggsaremine - I am truly sorry for hijacking her thread and having a laugh with AF but Farmgirls knows that I was truly sympathetic initially..... until it was clear that she didnt seem to want our advice or opinion even though she requested blunt views

Farmgirls truly I feel for you I really do, but you need to help yourself, allowing the situation to continue isnt helping anyone. He is their father that doesnt mean you should put up with being treated so badly.

franch · 05/04/2009 23:35

Agree with allthoseeggs....

Farmgirls: maybe continue the thread on Relationships, and link to it here? There are people genuinely trying to help on this thread, but you need to answer some of the questions above.

Yurtgirl · 05/04/2009 23:37

Closer!

Home Education in truth - an issue that really seems to sort divide people to polar extremes - Guess from my name which side I am on

AnyFuckerStealsHerKidsEggs · 05/04/2009 23:39

I reckon you want to home-educate all children

at your gaff

< books in yr 4 and yr 8 children >

I also need wrap-around care from 7am-6pm

how ya fixed ?

allthoseeggsaremine · 05/04/2009 23:41

yurtgirl I love your apology, wish my kids were like that lol, bless

Where has op gone then????? (Tiffs gone now, you can come back!!)

Yurtgirl · 05/04/2009 23:43
allthoseeggsaremine · 05/04/2009 23:44

what about?

AnyFuckerStealsHerKidsEggs · 05/04/2009 23:44

and occasional over-nights

Yurtgirl · 05/04/2009 23:46

awwww go on then, how could I refuse!

Of course Ill have to let you know my fee - I am expensive

Quality doesnt come cheap

AnyFuckerStealsHerKidsEggs · 05/04/2009 23:49

but your cause is so worthy

there is no price on that, surely

thumbbunny · 06/04/2009 00:16

ooh Yurtgirl - I have always fancied home-edding my DC, since way before having any! I have just the one 16mo DS at the mo so a bit of a way off deciding for sure but it is still a possibility - how do you find it? I even wanted to start my own school where all children did yoga for 20 mins every morning (amongst other things)

Casserole · 11/01/2010 13:30

I am so sorry I missed this thread 9 months ago. I have enjoyed it immensely

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