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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be surprised and disappointed at some of the attitudes to food and weight I have seen here?

127 replies

SigourneyBeaver · 02/04/2009 19:30

I have a high opinion of Mners.
On the whole, I think Mn is populated by intelligent and often extremely witty people.

However, I have read many posts from women who want to achieve or maintain an unrealistic weight.

I am SO disappointed by this I can't tell you. I was kind of in denial of how obsessed women are by their appearance. This has really got to me. If intelligent women feel this way, is there any hope for our daughters?

OP posts:
FAQinglovely · 02/04/2009 20:22

actually I'm really jealous of those legs - I could tone mine up as much as I wanted and they'd never look like that (probably because I'm only 5ft tall and most of my "height" is in my body LOL).

If I did have the potential to have legs like that and they still looked that good when I was her age I'd be whipping 'em out too

MP I'm trying to picture you (not knowing what you look like) in some of these whacky outfits

HotCrossGoober · 02/04/2009 20:23

The Easter name stays!!
It makes me sound fruity and fresh.
And
my diet is not a manufactured type, eg weightwatchers, blah blah. I am doing this by healthy eating only and no alcohol.

moondog · 02/04/2009 20:24

I really am puzzled by all this hysteria about eating disorders and size zero and other such stuff.

Where is this going on??
Most people I see could do with shifting quite a bit of their weight.

oregonianabroad · 02/04/2009 20:24

Well said, Mrs Mattie.

oregonianabroad · 02/04/2009 20:24

That is so not your business, moondog.

Mumcentreplus · 02/04/2009 20:25

lol..you can't answer the question because the woman on the number 10 bus is not commenting on individuals...she is commenting on the weather..it is what it is...anyway Sue Pollard unfortunately legs a-side has very bad dress sense..

FAQinglovely · 02/04/2009 20:27

well obviously I wait until they're well out of sight/ear shot to comment. And I don't just comment on the 'hmm' ones - but also on the ones that look fab (actually I probably do have a 2nd look round of them in a fit of LOL).

And tbh - I'm sure I got a few comments out of ear shot about me a few weeks ago - when I was actually looking quite reasonable (for me) - except I'd forgotten I'd got my "Leapfrog" (after school service) T-shirt on underneath my nice jacket and sat for 20 minutes having breakfast in their with my jacket undone - oh lord I was mortified - it's a bog standard white cotton baggy t-shirt with a flipping great big green frog printed on it

Nontoxic · 02/04/2009 20:28

@SigourneyBeaver - I'm even more depressed by the idea of two grown women omg-ing and having 'a giggle' at another woman behind her back.

I'm obviously both naive and a hermit.

moondog · 02/04/2009 20:28

Alright, telling woman on bus that she has no right to have an opinion on...Barack Obama or Angela Merkel.

What is so not my business OB?

oregonianabroad · 02/04/2009 20:29

To judge if someone needs to shift some weight.

Accept yourself, let others accept themselves.

oregonianabroad · 02/04/2009 20:29

To judge if someone needs to shift some weight.

Accept yourself, let others accept themselves.

moondog · 02/04/2009 20:29

Sooooo,is it ok ot 'have a giggle' at a man??
Or are we all banned from passing comment or judging anyone henceforth?

FAQinglovely · 02/04/2009 20:30

but most of the threads i've seen about "people" in the last few days have been talking about the clothes they were wearing not how fat/thin they looked.

And yes - if you wear something that doesn't fit properly or is a style totally wrong for your figure you can end up looking fat!

I have frequently tried on one size of something and looked like an elephant, tried the next size up on and look slimmer - because it fits better - and I thought that what most of the threads have been about - the clothes not the individuals.

Othersideofthechannel · 02/04/2009 20:32

Is that book a good read Oregonian?

SerendipitousHarlot · 02/04/2009 20:33

moondog, I expect a lot of people would thank you to mind your own business.

Most people I see could do with shifting quite a bit of their weight.

Rude.

oregonianabroad · 02/04/2009 20:33

OK, OK, I'm not saying I'm above having a laugh at someone else's expense.

I am just so sick of people (especially women) getting

a.) obsessive about their wight/ size/ body shape

b.) using that as some sort of social hierarchy

So, if that makes me a moody fat boring old cow, so be it!

oregonianabroad · 02/04/2009 20:35

Hi Otherside!

Yes, it's a great book, I really recommend it. Bit preachy and earnest, I suppose, but it made me realise that so much about how I feel about myself was down to the images and comments about women in the media.

One small step towards self-acceptance, anyway.

Nontoxic · 02/04/2009 20:39

No, it,s not okay to have a giggle at a man, whether he's out of earshot or not.

If your DCs were chortling about someone, male or female, wouldn't you tell them it was rude and unkind?

FAQinglovely · 02/04/2009 20:39

and in my defence I am often looking closely at what women are wearing as I have NO idea what suits me and what doesn't and what looks good on and what doesn't. So having a peruse at other people helps give me a slightly better idea.

For example after seeing lots of short woman (of varying sizes) wearing knee length boots and looking like they were standing in a hole (ie looking as if the have virtually no legs) I realised that those lovely knee length boots I'd seen were a definite no no for me.

I also look at hair - I'm slight obsessive about that at the moment as I'm still trying to find an easy to look after style that I like

But I think the people that get the most giggle are those boys (and men round here as well!) who think it's cool to walk round with their trousers half way down their arse and their pants showing - they all look daft IMO

moondog · 02/04/2009 20:40

Oregon, where' the cut off point then.
Am I allowed to judge, nay note that someone who is 4 stone overweight needs to lose it?

How about 3 stone?
2 stone?
A stone?

Where does one draw the line between it being a question of opinion and a statement of fact?

Idranktheeasterspirits · 02/04/2009 20:41

Agree with Moondog. And i don't normally.

I do think there is a number of women who have allergies/intolerances/hormones/control issues etc but in reality just need to eat less and exercise more.

I am going to get royally flamed i think by those who genuinely have allergies/intolerances/hormones/control issues.

oregonianabroad · 02/04/2009 20:42

moondog, by all means, note away -- do you have a special pen & spiral notebook? You could give out tickets on the spot. I'm sure that would really make the fatties stand up and take notice, being handed a 'fat fine'. Maybe you could bring scales to help you decide?

moondog · 02/04/2009 20:43

I'm asking you a question OB.
Interested in your answer.

oregonianabroad · 02/04/2009 20:47

If your question is, 'are you, Oregon, fat?'

the answer is, obviously, YES.

BUT... I also believe I am healthy. I eat well and exercise every day, and I enjoy my meals and cooking. I am far healthier now than when I was starving myself and taking laxitives and wearing clothes about 3 sizes too big, which I did for about 10 years, because I was so ashamed of my (then size 10) body.

And when I think about all the TIME and ENERGY I wasted on that, it really pisses me off. I should have been out enjoying life.

Shambolic · 02/04/2009 20:49

I honestly don't notice or comment.

The only times I notice are when people are really extreme - extreme of dress or lack of it, extremely thin or fat.

Otherwise it all just passes me by.

I do know that most other people do notice though, women as well as men.

I was great fun to have around the office

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