to want to pull out my eyeballs and stamp on them really really hard.

[DisasterArea]

and i'm feeling very grumpy so think about that before you reply.

Wouldn't that make them go pop?

Erm...yes you would be.

Are they itching?

Have you seen something really grim?

Only if there's anyone else present likely to get splattered with eyeball goo!

No YANBU.

(Because I fear the consequences of saying YABU - it might be my eyeballs that get stomped)

they really hurt and are sore and narsty. and it has made me excessivley grumpy.

Did you accidentally see Chris Moyles trying to rim himself?

dear god no. that would have rendered me instantly blind and then i wouldn't want to pluck my eyes from my head. perhaps though seeing that might cure them

If they are sore then stamping on them might not help ... What you want to do is give them a nice bath in mouthwash like my friend's dad did (mistook it for Optrex). Apparently it was minty and refreshing

imagine the mouthwash might sting a little too.

You'd think, wouldn't you? But apparently not enough to stop him doing the second eye