To want to call family members by their real relationship?

[Scaredycat3000]

My BIL had his first child a few months ago, their step-couison just had her first child last week. They keep calling the two babies couisons. Thay arn't in my book. Will I then have to call their step-couison Auntie? When we have our first child in a few weeks I don't want to go along with this silliness. I have always got annoyed with this sort of thing, but don't want to cause trouble, so, am I being unreasonable?

YABU

The children of cousins are also cousins

Or is it the 'step' ness that is a problem?

Why does it matter?

YABU

YABU.

I don't see the harm in them doing whatever they like, but there is no need for you to join in if you don't want to.

What does your partner think?

YABU. Very.

What on earth is your issue?

YABU and a bit weirdy.

Why does it matter? I'm sure you don't have to call anyone Auntie if you don't want to, but YABU to be upset about people referring to children as cousins.

My friend's children call me auntie and vice versa. Occasionally, only now they are older, my dc say they are their cousins, although we have never referred to them in this way- they have just made the connection. They do know who their real familial cousins are though.

It's a nice way of acknowledging a closeness. I don't do it with all my friends-perhaps you could opt out.

Odd . YABU

YABU.

My sister has two step-children. Are my children and my sister's step-children "cousins"? My mum considers them to be "grandchildren" even though there's no blood relationship. My sister does consider them "her" children (she talks about "our girls") but she has never pushed the "cousin" issue.

Would I be unreasonable to say to DS1 that he's got these two "cousins"?

YABU, it's GREAT to have family. Why shit on it?

How small minded and mean spirited you sound! Can't you just be happy that your etended family has so much new life and joy in it?

YABU - please snap out of it!

I have 20 first cousins, didn't need people confusing me as a child as to was really who.
The step thing has led to alot of covering up and lies within the family and don't want to continue with fibs.
I have no problems with calling first cousins as cousin but if I start down this line on my side ours has 28 already! Won't that confuse him?

YABU if you are making distinctions between step- and blood-relations.

Is this step-cousin your DH's cousin? If so then her children and your children are cousins. That's how it works. Childen of cousins are second-cousins, technically.

Why will it confuse him? Children don't sit down and fret about the parentage or lineage of their relations. My DDs have six grandparents but aren't too worried about genetics or who is shagging who...

How is it 'fibs' to refer to relatives as cousins? Presumably you will explain family relationships to your child at the appropriate stage in their life so they know who is who and how everyone links together, so there's no question of lies or 'covering up' anything.

So it's because they don't share bloodlines? YABU, and small minded.

SIL, who is DH's step sister, is the same. All of the rest of our extended family consider all the members to be family - cousins are cousin whether they're the child of a step or biological sibling. She's mean in lots of other ways too.

Depends how well you get on with the "steps".

I had two "step" grandparents. My grandmother's husband I have always called grandad, as he never had any children of his own, and has always behaved as a grandfather towards us. My grandfather's wife was always referred to as Auntie as she was younger when they married and went on to have a son with my grandfather (before I was born). She never expected to be referred to as grandma or any other such title. Her son (my mums half brother) has always been an uncle, and his sons are my cousins. My uncle is only 11 years older than me, and younger than my husband, so we only refer to him and his wife as uncle and auntie if we are joking around, although DD refers to them by these titles.

DCs may find confusion if you start making too definate a distinction when they are too young.

none of your business what your BIL and his step-cousin call each other or ask their children to call each other.

You get to decide what your child calls different family members (at least until the child is old enough to decide for itself), you don't make the rules for everyone else.

Sounds like a massive family, though, I can see why things are confusing.

My kids have at least 30 first cousins. I have no problems with adding a few more step cousins, psuedo aunties etc. I dont think it confuses them. My husband is West Indian and its very common to refer to aduts as auntie and uncle if they are close friends.

My DS2 is biologically my great nephew. So his cousins are biologically his second cousins and his aunties are great aunties. But he calls them aunties and cousins. To make it more complicated some of his [second]cousins are a good 20 years older than him so he calls them auntie or uncle.

He calls me mummy.

So if he can handle that I am sure your LO will be fine

The more the better IMO. Kids love having tons of family.