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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to offer to pay the man who took my cat to be neutered without discussing it with me

279 replies

powpow · 25/03/2009 20:14

basically my cat came home last night neutered.
We had no idea what had happened or who had taken him.
I called 11 vets in the area until I found the one where it was done.
A neighbor has been feeding our cat and took him to be done. My cat broke through this guys catflap to come home to us where he feels safe. He wasn't missing. We saw him Monday night and he came home tuesday night.

Most of the cats running around the neighborhood have no collar but I would never take them to the vet unless they were hurt!
he said my cat has been coming around for a few months. He never once tried to find out who he belonged to.
We had taken off his collar because it kept getting tighter and tighter on his neck and getting caught on the fences.
But he was very obviously well taken care of, groomed and happy.
We were waiting a few more months to neuter him and would have taken him to the clinic that does it for free.
This guy paid £280.
I don't think I should have to pay for this.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Eve4Walle · 26/03/2009 08:19

YANBU at all.

This man took it upon himself to feed your cat without ever trying to find out who it's ownders were, and getting him neutered in that situation is just madness.

You should always get a tom neutered as soon as you can, but it costs about £30 (that's what it cost to have our cat done about 2 years ago), but that doesn't make this any better - what was he thinking?

My cat doesn't wear a collar as I don't see the need to identify him in this way, but he is chipped. We forget that cats are wild at heart, mine certainly is, he catches baby bunnies and birds all the time (not very nice).

oopsagain · 26/03/2009 08:25

cat flu is a completely different disease than FIV
FIV is feline immunodeficiency virus- it is in the smae group as HIV. As far as we know it doesn't pass to humans.
it passes through blood to saliva contact mainly (fighting is more common in uncastrated amle cats).
It can go undetected for yeats, but can also be responsible for poor immune systema dn host of other problems.

There is no vaccine to prevent your cat from getting it.

'flu is caused by a number of different viruses and causes sneezing, discharge from the eyes, sometimes ulceration in the mouth...
there are vaccines against some of the flu viruses.

HTH

Original poster
powpow · 26/03/2009 08:29

thank you for all your messages.

Just wanted to say that the man lives three houses down around the corner! We can see into his back garden.
It really would not have been hard for him to find us.

I can afford a collar and he has had them in the past. But he kept coming back without them (taken off by this man?) or they were getting caught on fences.
He is being chipped tomorrow and we are sending the man a cease & desist letter.

I appreciate all of your views and have taken them all into account - not just the ones that I agree with!

OP posts:
oopsagain · 26/03/2009 08:35

Hope it all goes well.
he does sound a bit bonkers.

at least he's home

oopsagain · 26/03/2009 08:41

sorry, here a good link about FIV for the poster who asked about FIV

mrspnut · 26/03/2009 08:42

My cat is chipped and she wears a collar that says that she is microchipped (bought from Pets at home) so there can be no confusion as to her identity.

Longtalljosie · 26/03/2009 08:55

I am so angry for you. I admit, I think you should have had your cat neutered before now, but even so that's disgusting. Actually, looking at that PDF an earlier poster attached on cats and the law, it looks like criminal damage to me. You can't go and change someone's car without permission - and even though it feels weird to think of cats as "things", that's how it is in law. And to pay for it? No bloody way. Their choice, their money. And that vet deserves a firm letter too.

Our cat (now 2) was neutered and chipped at 6 months, but is frequently terrorised by a nasty little un-neutered grey thing from the garden opposite. I bloody wish they'd fix him but would NEVER consider doing it myself. In my more bloodyminded moments, I do consider attaching a collar to him (no cats around here have one) with "I NEED NEUTERING" written on it in big letters - but that's as far as it goes and actually although it's a nice thought, I'd never do it.

And come to that, I think people are bang out of order to feed other people's cats as well. It's a bloody liberty. My cat's been ill a bit recently (not helped by constantly being beaten up by grey satanic beast above) and monitoring his appetite is an important part of checking he's OK. I can't do that if he's being Felixed down the road. Which fortunately for me, he doesn't seem to be. But then my neighbours almost all have pets of their own.

MorningTownRide · 26/03/2009 09:04

Your cat approached this man first (IYSWIM) I seriously doubt he lured your cat in with fishy treats.

He probably paid it attention and eventually fed it. So the cat goes back for more. Tis the nature of the cat!

He was acting responibly in getting the cat neutered thinking that after months of feeding it that he should be responsible.

He is probably gutted that you have claimed ownership. Cut him some slack.

I bet your cat doesn't stop the visiting him though...

wotulookinat · 26/03/2009 09:04

I think you need to give the bloke some credit. He took in what he thought was a stray. He took it to the vets for medical attention and paid for it himself. If the cat had been chipped the vet would have contacted you.
If I found a cat that wasn't chipped and wasn't wearing a collar (my cat doesn't wear a collar, but is chipped), then I would assume it was a stray, especially if it wasn't neautered.

Malkuth · 26/03/2009 09:14

Just a quick comment about collars. We are adopting a car from a Home and the leaflet they gave us specifically says that they and the RSPCA do not advise collars on cats as they can be dangerous. They do however make neutering and microchipping a condition of adopting a kitten.

wotulookinat · 26/03/2009 09:18

yes they can be - I once had a cat that nearly managed to hang himself whilst jumping from the top of the wardrobe. He had one of the collars on that had an elastic bit, and it cut into his face and left some nasty scars.
After that I used the quick release collars on him, which come undone when they catch on anything. The ony downside to that is that they get lost a lot.

mrspnut · 26/03/2009 09:20

Most pet shops only sell quick release collars now because of that scenario. I'd also rather my cat wore one because of the bell on it. I know cats are supposed to be hunters but I'd like to give the local bird population a fighting chance of survival.

wotulookinat · 26/03/2009 09:22

I always ended up taking the bell off because it drove me (and the dogs!) mad. My cat now is too old to go chasing birds and prefers to watch them from a distance anyway

spacecadet99 · 26/03/2009 09:36

Cats are tarts. I doubt very much this man lured him in, I expect the cat started going in his house (un neutered toms always wanting to increase their territory) and it went from there. Tis fecking weird to neuter someone else's cat though.

HOWEVER, I think anyone that has an unneutered cat, male or female, which is allowed out of the house, is completely irresponsible. This is why there are so many unwanted cats/kittens sitting in RSPCA and other rescues waiting for someone to give a damn about them. Fine, if you can't get them neutered for health reasons or whatever, then keep them in the house so they're not breeding all over the shop. This goes for a fair few on this thread - being a pedigree doesn't make it OK for your unneutered cat to be impregnating other cats left right and centre (in fact I find it odd to allow a pedigree tom to wander, as they are hugely likely to get into fights/get themselves killed on the roads).

And yes I am a cat owner. My boy is a rescue (unwanted result of unneutered cats breeding) and the RSPCA did him before they gave him to us - if they hadn't, I would have got him done before he was allowed out.

So YANBU about the guy getting your cat neutered, but it was partially caused by irresponsible pet ownership on your part.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 26/03/2009 09:43

Cats are strange creatures, no bloody loyalty!

I had one as a child and she disappeared aged around 4 I was distraught and finally accepted she'd probably died.

A few months later my dad was helping an elderly lady up the road out with her car and our cat was in her house! The lady told him she'd been feeding her for ages as she thought she was a stray and she'd become a housecat which explained why we never saw her.

She let me go round to play with her but we never got her back. I guess she must have reckoned she was the better option, house full of kids that bother me v nice lady who feeds me fresh fish and constantly has the fire blazing

123andaway · 26/03/2009 10:02

This is criminal damage! The cat is classed in law as property. The defination of criminal damage is 'To destroy or damage property belonging to another with the intention of destroying or damaging property, or being reckless as to wether the property would be destroyed or damaged'. He knew the cat was not his, and presumeably did not take reasonable steps to find its owner - therefore it 'belonged to another'. You may have been intending to stud your cat, or just prefered to keep him complete, in which case he has definitely 'damaged' it.

Im not suggesting that you march down the police station (although you are within your rights to do so), but I certinally wouldn't be paying him any money!

edam · 26/03/2009 10:03

I'm very suspicious of these people who feed someone else's cat. They know perfectly well that the cat is well-fed and looked after. They just want to steal the affections of your moggy...

Leannabanana · 26/03/2009 10:08

It costs 57.85 to get a cat neutered at our vets....i think this guy is having you on to make a but of money....i would be so furious if someone did that to my cat....how presumptious....you may have been wanting to stud him out....

HensMum · 26/03/2009 10:25

A cat of mine choked on a collar. We think he was grooming himself and got his jaw caught in it and choked to death. Came home from work to find him dead in the garden

It was a quick release safety collar bought from the RSPCA.

It was a freak accident but I completely respect anyone's decision not to put a collar on their cat.

However, as a responsible owner, you have to neuter your pets. Our other cat has been bullied by a tom. He's been bitten several times causing abcesses that are painful and distressing for him and bloody expensive for us.

The guy should have done more to work out who's cat it was and was cheeky to do it without knowing but it's one less un-neutered cat in the world which is a pretty good thing IMHO.

edam · 26/03/2009 11:33

Oh, Hensmum, that's so sad. We stopped putting collars on our cats when they kept getting caught - and one of them did something similar to your poor moggy, although we were there at the time so we able to free her.

HensMum · 26/03/2009 11:39

It was really upsetting. Hate to think of him being in pain and all alone in the garden.

The vet said he'd seen similar things before when cats get their front legs caught in their collars which can cause some horrible injuries.

The other cat does not wear a collar but is neutered and micro-chipped (twice actually, thanks to a mess up by the RSPCA!)

edam · 26/03/2009 11:59

That'll confuse any vets who scan him if he ever gets lost!

Original poster
powpow · 26/03/2009 12:47

well, he's just popped a note in the door asking if I'd contribute to the cost.
He is going to be in for a shock tonight when my husband goes round to talk to him.

OP posts:
morningpaper · 26/03/2009 12:48

you are making yourselves sound appalling TBH

and why are you 'sending your husband around' and not talking to him yourself?

Original poster
powpow · 26/03/2009 12:51

I've already spoken to him, twice.
My husband wants to talk to him.
And no, my husband is not happy that this guy took our cat and did this.
You can think I sound appalling, but what he did frightened the shit outta my cat and us.
my cat won't leave the house now and is totally frightened.

OP posts: