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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should be able to express a desire to not want to send my child to the local school which has more than 95% asian children and not be called a racist!

277 replies

Sails · 17/03/2009 20:48

The school is a few minutes walk away from me but I have no intention of sending my children there. Most classes there isn't a single white child in it especially the younger end of the school. The other nearest school is about a 25 minute walk away. It has a 50% mix have absolutely no problem with that whatsoever. I have asian neighbours and even they don't even send their Reception child to the local school. Told my hairdresser that I don't want to send my child to x school and she said "thats a bit racist!" Told my neighbour and she too was shocked and said I am probably the least racist person she knows!

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 17/03/2009 20:51

well. if you don't want to send your child there simply because they have a large proportion of Asian children then yes, I think that is racist.

Devendra · 17/03/2009 20:51

It depends on why you don't want your DD to go there really...

MinkyBorage · 17/03/2009 20:53

maybe you should stop telling people you feel like this then. It isn't going to make you very popular!!!

Devendra · 17/03/2009 20:53

If you dont want her to go because of there being a large amount of asian children then how can that NOT be racist???

Portofino · 17/03/2009 20:53

What difference does their colour make? To discriminate on terms of ethnic origin alone is extremely racist.

I could ONLY understand your point if there was an issue that 95% of the children were non-English speakers and that this would have an effect on your dc's education. But otherwise YABVU. And racist.

madlentileater · 17/03/2009 20:53

What is worrying you about the school?
I taught a demonstration lesson in a class where there was only one white boy, I have to say he seemed perfectly happy and confident, despite being clearly not the brightest or most articulate in the class.

cory · 17/03/2009 20:56

Would you prefer a white child who had only just immigrated and spoke poor English to an Asian child who had lived her all her life and was high performing academically? Or why on earth do you mention colour?

You are aware that some Asian minorities far outperform white British children at school, are you not?

fryalot · 17/03/2009 20:57

You should be able to express a desire not to send your child to a school that you have issues with without being called racist.

However, if you are openly telling people that you don't want your child to go there because of its Asian population then that is racist and it proves you to be racist and YABVVVVU if you expect everyone you speak to along these terms to not think you are racist.

solidgoldbrass · 17/03/2009 20:58

How do you think non-white people feel when they have to send their DC to a school where they are going to be the only non-white DC in the class (or even in the school)?

mrsruffallo · 17/03/2009 20:58

I think if your child will be in a minority of one and all of the other children belong to the same ethnic group and shared a common language then yes, I can see why that would concern you.
However, labelling them all as "asian" does sound racist.
I am sure you weren't trying to be.
Try to find out a bit more about the school, go and visit and discuss your concerns with them

SerendipitousHarlot · 17/03/2009 20:59

Sorry, but however you paint it, that's racist. For you to state that as the reason you don't want your dc to go there - what's the problem? It's not like the other children won't be speaking English! How would you feel if you lived in a different country and people didn't want to go to the same school as a white child?
shakes head

KingCanuteIAm · 17/03/2009 20:59

I would have reacted just like the others if you said to them what you have said here.

Horrifically racist IMHO!

mrsruffallo · 17/03/2009 21:00

Probably the same as the OP does SGB

Original poster
Sails · 17/03/2009 21:00

Yes a very high number are non english speakers and it had a bad ofsted report (not for that reason!) I did not say to the hairdresser the reason was because of the high % of asian children btw she made thaat asumption! Also alot of friends with children a similar age to my ds are sending their children to the other school including someone whose older 3 all went to the other school but when the younger one starts school he won't go there!

OP posts:
edam · 17/03/2009 21:02

It would worry me. Honestly, who wouldn't worry if their child was going to be in a minority of 5%? If I had any choice, I wouldn't send ds to a school that had 95% girls, or where 95% of children spoke French, or 95% of kids were terribly sporty if he wasn't.

It's no worse than parents of children who are from an ethnic minority being concerned about how their kids will be treated in white-majority schools.

Having said that, I wouldn't necessarily discount it - just need to visit the school, ask around and see if anyone reports positive/negative experiences, read the Ofsted etc. My niece is at a school that has an overwhelmingly Asian intake who come in from a neighbouring borough (it's single-sex so preferred by many Muslim parents). She's fine, really enjoying herself and doing well, only problem is she can't just go round to see a friend after school, always involves a long journey.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 17/03/2009 21:02

You are entitled to make your own decision. But it is a decision made on racial grounds and therefore, by definition, racist.

SerendipitousHarlot · 17/03/2009 21:03
Original poster
Sails · 17/03/2009 21:03

Yes a very high number are non english speakers and it had a bad ofsted report (not for that reason!) I did not say to the hairdresser the reason was because of the high % of asian children btw she made thaat asumption! Also alot of friends with children a similar age to my ds are sending their children to the other school including someone whose older 3 all went to the other school but when the younger one starts school he won't go there!

OP posts:
geraldinetheluckygoat · 17/03/2009 21:03

Perhaps the children at the school the op talks about start reception speaking very little english. And before everyone jumps down my throat, I live in a mostly asian area, our local school has mostly asian children. The school says that a very high percentage of the children start school with english as a second language and need a lot of support to speak english at first. I chose to send my dc to another school that had more of a mix of different children, simply because i worried that ds might struggle to make friends and find other kids to join in with if many of his class mates didnt speak english. Like all of us, I just wanted his first year at school to go as smoothly as possible.

tallulahbelly · 17/03/2009 21:04

If you are worried your child will be in a minority just because of his colour then YABU.

If you are worried he will be in a class where English is not predominantly the first language then YANBU.

Nor would would YBU if you believed his classmates' parents did not have a commitment to education but that happens regardless of creed or colour.

So which is it?

solidgoldbrass · 17/03/2009 21:04

My mate who is a primary head teacher says that schools which have a high percentage of children who don't speak English as a first language get loads of extra help/funding. So a high percentage of non-white children definitely doesn't make a school bad - what is the reason this school has a bad oftsted report anyway?

angelene · 17/03/2009 21:04

If you said that 'the reason was because of the high % of asian children' then your hairdresser has every right to make that 'assumption', based on, erm, the words that came out of your mouth

Extremely racist and ill-informed. As cory says, some 'Asian' groups are the highest performing groups in the entire education system.

stitchtime · 17/03/2009 21:04

from your op, its ounds as if you are being rascist. however, if you dont want to send them there, then dont. just dont go around advertising your reasons.
i didnt want to send ds1 to the local church of england school, precisily because it is a christian school, and we ar not christian. i dont think tha tmakes me rascist, or whatever the equivalent word is. but, he did end up being the only non white child in his class, and it didnt affect him negatively in anyway that i saw.

edam · 17/03/2009 21:04

(I went to a girl's high school that started to take boys in the sixth form - there were two boys and 60+ girls in my year. Always thought it must have been very strange for them - wouldn't choose that for ds. Although both the lads were very nice and didn't seem terrified or anything.)

Lizzylou · 17/03/2009 21:05

One of my friends moved her son out of his previous school for precisely this reason. Not because she was rascist but because her son was told by his friend that he wasn't allowed to play with him or even speak to him where his Father might see because he "was white".
He was also not invited to any parties nor did any of his friends turn up to his parties.