To think I should be able to express a desire to not want to send my child to the local school which has more than 95% asian children and not be called a racist!

[Sails]

The school is a few minutes walk away from me but I have no intention of sending my children there. Most classes there isn't a single white child in it especially the younger end of the school. The other nearest school is about a 25 minute walk away. It has a 50% mix have absolutely no problem with that whatsoever. I have asian neighbours and even they don't even send their Reception child to the local school. Told my hairdresser that I don't want to send my child to x school and she said "thats a bit racist!" Told my neighbour and she too was shocked and said I am probably the least racist person she knows!

You know what, I'm going to go out on a limb and say YANBU.

I wouldn't either.

In my area the majority of the children who are asian are from sounth asian born parents, so first language would be urdu, bengali, hindi and if my DS was going to a school that largely of children speaking another language as their first language, I would have serious reservations about sending him there.

Nothing to do with colour of skin, not in the slightest. Would be to do with being left out/unable to speak the language etc.

Think that kind of worry would be a bit daft in deepest Berkshire...

I think not wanting your child to be the only child of his/her race is a valid reason to avoid a school. However, if you go round mentioning you opposition based on other children being Asian... well... I'd have thought you would have seen it coming. Perhaps, you should say, I don't want my kid to be the only one of her race.

If you specifically are avoiding Asians, then that is OF COURSE racist. But, I suspect you just didn't want your child to feel like an outcast and that I think is valid... but it isn't exactly what you said.

"If you are worried your child will be in a minority just because of his colour then YABU"

If the OP was black/asian descent and was worried about sending her DC to an all white school for thay reason, would that be racist?

of course it would.

I would not want my white DS going to a school where there weren't any other (or very few) white children)

bugger all to do with race, all to do with the fact that he would be the only different one.

Eh!!! what happend there gremlins in my laptop!!!! I told her I have no intention of sending my child there but didn't mentiion race to her at all she made asumptions because she knows the area. The other school has 50% asian children there and I have no problem whatsoever with that school. Alot of ds1s friends and my friends children go or will go there. Also my ds often plays with my neighbours 4 yo.

While I would be very wary of aligning myself with any other individual or group who expresses this opinion, I think there can be an issue with this particular ethnic breakdown, and it's to do with the opportunities that your child will get to socialize outside school.

My experience is of a school with a high proportion of families of Pakistani origin, and I have noticed that - on the whole and with exceptions - these families socialize within their family groups or with close neighbours.

There is not the same tradition of having one's kids friends around for tea, regardless of one's relationship to the child's parents, and I think for this reason a child who doesn't meet these criteria might feel rather lonely.

It depends on how important one thinks this is. It was important to me and for this reason I excluded a similar school, though with misgivings and after considerable soul-searching.

I have to say that having seen how important this after-school friendship thing is to my ds, I feel that I made the right decision. But I hope there will be someone along after me with personal experience which completely refutes me, though. I think the OP needs to question her motivation very closely.

she didnt say that to the hairdresser, angelene

Yes geraldine that is exactly my worries! The ofsted report makes it very clear that a very large number of children start school speaking little or no english and I just want the transition for ds1 to be an stress free and smooth as possible! WHats wrong with that?

I agree with Edam. I would not send my children to a school that had a v high proportion of catholics/muslims/hindus/jews. Because my children would not be part of the prevailing culture and might risk feeling alienated.

FWIW, I am a teacher in a largly mono-ethnic (Afro-Caribbean)school and I do understand Sails' concern about her child being obviously "different".

It's hard, being the only "different" looking kid. This is just as true for Sails' DC being the only white kid in a largly Aisian school as it is being the only black kid in a largly white school.

Lessons are geared towards whatever the predominant culture in the classroom is, and if it's not your culture it can be isolating.

It's hard to be anonymous. Everyone knows your face and your name; you can't get away with anything.

It's really important to teenagers to fit in. To have a shared culture (not necessarily an ethnic one) and identity with their peers.

I'm not in any way saying that this means a white kid can't have Asian friends and have lots of common ground with them. Nor an I saying that a white kid won't be happy or successful in a predominantly Asian school. Just that it is clearly a bit easier to be in a multi-ethic environment than to be the odd one out in a mono-ethic one.

And to say things like it shouldn't matter and kids don't see colour is nonsense. They do. Not necessarily because they're racist, but because it is part of being a teenager to identify those who are different (ginger, short, whatever). This can be good-natured harmless banter or it can be worse than that. This happens far less in a multi-ethic environment than a mono-ethnic environment, because differences and are less marked.

We had this one before didn't we?

I felt the same. I think if they are honest a lot of people would. I wanted ds to go to a school with a large mix of different ethnic groups, not a majority of one group, and not one where he would struggle to make friendships. The school he is at now has lots of children from loads of different ethnic groups. It is great.

My sons former school had two black children.
I honestly dont think they had any issues being the only non white children in the school.

Should we congratulate these childrens parents on their lack of racism or their good choice of school for their children?

Chose the best school for your child, on the schools merit and reputation not by the skin colour of the pupils.

FWIW I we used to live near NATO in Brussels. My dd goes to a French speaking school where there are least 7 nationalities represented (in a class of 22), and not even all the Belgian children speak French as mother tongue (Some are dutch speakers). They are all getting on fine. My dd is in a minority of 1 (English MT). It hasn't made the slightest difference.

Ah, I see now . Sorry, I really definitely absolutely need an early night.

OBM, that was exactly my friend's experience, it was the social side of school that her son was missing out on.

And thanks geraldine I DID NOT say that to the hairdresser! She made assumptions based on her knowledge of the school. Alot of what I have said such as describing the school is because you don't know the school or the mix iyswim!

Would you actively choose a school where your child would be in the minority over one where your child would, as sails suggests, be the same nationality/ colour/ religion/ first language as at least half the other children?

I also live in an area where our state catchment school is almost exclusively asian. The results indicate that the children do pretty well in maths and science but still struggle with english at age 10/11. When I went to look around, before choosing school for ds1, I was shocked that he was doing more at age 3/4 than the reception and y1 children I saw in class.

However, I wasn't really shocked at the results that I read - I wonder if it is racist to assume that schools dominated by children of foreign extraction/descent are unlikely to do as well results wise as schools not dominated...

I actively chose to send ds1 to the next nearest school which is almost exclusively white - but I chose it for the size (small infants school), the nice atmosphere, and that it is a lovely school that we could still walk to. There are three children in ds1's class who are of asian or afro/caribean descent, although I believe they were all born in this country!

I'm also aware that I've rarely met asian women and children at the mum and baby/toddler groups I been to with my ds's. I think we're making different choices but some - choice of school - are just a bit more 'out there'.

All the PC hand-wringing on this thread amuses me greatly.

I am personally in favour of sending your child to the nearest catchment state school. But that's me. The OP has the right not to send her child to any school she thinks will not be suitable for them. This is that old favourite, "choice".

Funny how the large, vocal minority of "independent" schoolers on here don't get the same shit.

My dss was the only white boy in his class and it was an issue. All of the other boys were black. We did worry about it tbh not because he was the only white boy but because it didn't represent the neighbourhood he lived in. It was very defisive. The area is far more mixed (asian and white) but as it was catholic, and proabably because of 'white flight' it was misrepresentative.

There were complex problems within the school as a result of the ethnic mix(or lack of). the head had decided that she would work towards making sure that the children did very well academically, and her way to achieve this was to be pretty strict and do a lot of discipline and rote learning. She was open in her reasoning to do this was because culturally the children predominately came from afro-carribean families and that in her opinion children from an afro-carribean background tend to respond better to a more strict teaching method. (I have absolutely no idea where she got this from and if it is true at all)

Anyway socially DSS was fine. But because ofn the head ethos he did really badly educationally (undiagnosised dyslexia and badly pressured into reading).

My point is if the school has an ethos that excludes your child for whatever reason then YANBU.

I don't think I would send my dcs to a school where they were a minority if I had an alternative option whatever race they were. I would also not send my child to a school that was 99% white/asian/black if I had another option. The school they are going to is a mix and that is one of the reasons we choose it instead of the 99% white school, which is better academically (and catholic - religion dividing the nation yet again)

I chose not to send my child to the catchment school (before we moved) because I did not want her to be in a minority group at school. The school did (does) very well at key elements - that was, in our case, teaching children how to speak English. It focused on this a lot as the majority of their children were EAL. IMO because of these focus in the school it was not the school most suited to DD's needs at that time. That does not IMO make me racist.

unquietdad - the independent school parents DO get the same amount of grief on MN and have done for a number of years, believe me!

A primary school in a nearby pictureque village I recently discovered is only attended by traveller children and 1 'other' according to their Ofsted report. All the local primary children go to another school in town. I wondered how quickly that happened and presumably this educational flight is sanctioned by the LEA.

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