To think I should be able to express a desire to not want to send my child to the local school which has more than 95% asian children and not be called a racist!

[Sails]

The school is a few minutes walk away from me but I have no intention of sending my children there. Most classes there isn't a single white child in it especially the younger end of the school. The other nearest school is about a 25 minute walk away. It has a 50% mix have absolutely no problem with that whatsoever. I have asian neighbours and even they don't even send their Reception child to the local school. Told my hairdresser that I don't want to send my child to x school and she said "thats a bit racist!" Told my neighbour and she too was shocked and said I am probably the least racist person she knows!

Message withdrawn

i dont think the op is being racist. i didnt want dd to go to the nearest school for exactly the same reassons. i wanted her to go to a school that reflected the area and wasnt full of just one ethnic group.
again its choice and she has one.

If haven't read all of the posts on this thread, so apologies if I am repeating anything obviously been said before.

We live in an area where there are very few asian/black people, and my ds has said there are 'different' people in his school who have brown skin. I think it's good to have a cultural mix of children.

I have had several asian friends, who speak gudrati, etc at home with their families and did fantastically at school.

I don't think from reading her posts that Sails means to be racist, she is more concerned that the school isn't performing well, it could equally be that 95% of the children speak Polish as their first language. Just goes to show what dodgy ground we are on by bringing colour into this.

It's quite simple

If you don't want your child to go there becuase you don't want them to be the only white or you don't like Asian kids its racist; if the kids being Asian is irrelevant but you are worried about the language barriers / wotried about child being excluded from friendships etc that may exist then you're not. Your heart will tell which is true, we can't possbly know.

Its a very complex decision choosing a school but tbh the most important ting is gut feling. If people ask why you didnt choose that say @I just had this gut feeling it wasnt right for my ds'- hard to argue with that!

ChopsTheDuck: 'it seems that they think there is one rule for white children and one for anybody else'

No, that's the point, I think many Asian, Afro-Caribbean or any other parents would not like their child to be the odd one out either, which I can completely understand. The OP is happy to send her child to a school with a mixture, not one that is dominated by one culture.

What I think this thread emphasises is that 'mono-cultural' schools are generally not a good thing, whether they are white or Asian. Or Catholic or Protestant in Northern Ireland.

"If you don't want them to be the only white" it's racist.

That's wrong, Peachy.

Look at the OED definition of racism above.

The OP does not think the Asian race is INFERIOR nor the white race SUPERIOR.

Peple bandy the word 'racist' around far too freely.

I do not think you are being unreasonable.

I live five minutes from a school which is 97 per cent asian children.I chose to send my ds1 to a school a twenty minute walk away.

My reasons are:
No 1 The majority of the school near me do not speak english as a first language and i think that for a child starting school is a hard enough experience and it takes a while to make friends without having to add a language barrier.

No 2 I live in a multicultral town.My children are mixed race and i would like them to mix with children of all races and religions.

No 3 The local school has a terrible ofsted report and the school twenty minutes away has an excellent one.

It does strike me as strange that a lot of people criticise folk for going to a private school because it is dominated by one ethnic group (i.e. white people) but the same people will criticise others for expressing reservations about not wanting their child to attend a school that is say 95% bengali.

In their own way, each institution will have as narrow a cultural and socio-economic base as each other yet many people seem to feel the latter should be embraced and the former shunned.

YANBU - it is quite legitimate to wish to send your child to a significant proportion of the children mirror your own family's cultural make-up.

I send my half-English/Anglican, half-French/Jewish DD to a secular bilingual school for that very reason.

to a school where

Is it the non-whiteness that bothers you or the fact that the school isn't culturally diverse ie. is it 95% Bengali Muslim or something? Big difference.

Why is that different, Mrs Mattie? Surely the issue is wanting your child to have a significant group of children who he/she shares a cultural background with?

I can see the OPs POV.

Ideally I wouldn't want my child to be in a minority of any kind, although I accept that that is what a lot of non-white parents have to do in the area where we live. And I sympathise. But given the choice I'd rather not cause that amount of stress to my child if I can possibly avoid it.

However, if the school was very good in other ways, if my DC already had some friends there and they were OK about it, and it was the local school, I might be prepared to give it a go. This doesn't appear to be the case here.

People send their child out of catchment for all kinds of reasons, social snobbery being a major one. I don't think this is that different.

I have to say as a parent of a child who is one of 4 white children in the entire school I know the difficulties it can lead to.
an example "argument" between ds1 and another child.

child "you bought your shoes in Poland"
ds1 "whatever you bought yours in africa the last time you visited home" (the child is african)

cue the child attacking my ds1, the child got sent home for the afternoon and the school did not contact me to tell me ds1 had been punched in the head repeatedly, I did not find out until i picked him up. I phoned the headteacher the following morning to say ds1 would not be in as he had been up with a headache most of the night and i was taking him to the gp as he said it was really sore where he had been punched.
The heads reaction?

"Well yes he was quite violently and viciously attacked but he obviously did something to instigate it"

I kept him off of school for almost a month as the school were not willing to see that the other child was also at fault. I also wrote to the school and asked if it was because he was white and the school did not want to be seen as racist that they constantly found fault with every little thing ds1 did. I never recieved a reply. When i eventually sent ds1 back to school, I was told at the end of the day by ds1 that he and the other child had been called into the heads office, ds1 was put in a book for being racist and the other child was told not to attack him again. DS1 queried this and was told the other child had not made a racist comment by saying he had bought his shoes in Poland, but he had by saying the same about africa.

Now tell me how is it racist to say to an african child (well of african descent) he bought his shoes in africa BUT is not racist to tell a child of Polish descent he bought his shoes in Poland?

Hence the reason that now he is due to start secondary in September I have only listed one choice, the one with a mix of nationalities. If he does not get in i will be appealing there is no way in the world i am sending him to one of the other local schools where he will be the minority.

It's hugely different@BA.

In a (for example) a 95% Bengali Muslim school, a white English child (or any non Bengali Muslim child) is going to be quite isolated. In a very ethnically diverse school - especially one that values diversity and actively celebrates it - all children will fit in.

My son is mixed race. Should I search for a school where the majority of children have white English/black Caribbean backgrounds so my child has an exact reflection of his own 'roots' around him at all times ? Of course not. That would be nonsensical and wouldn't set him in any sort of good stead for his life to come.

Happily, my DS attends a school which is very diverse. And the children do have plenty in common. They all live in the same neighbourhood, go to the same parks/shops etc, for the most part mix well outside of school.

I don't think there is any difference at all - if you are in a tiny minority, you are in a tiny minority.

I love my DD's school for her as it is both very culturally and ethnically diverse AND also has a significant group of children from all her cultural and ethnic heritages. Though I haven't yet identified a single child with the same precise cultural and ethnic heritage as hers.

'"If you don't want them to be the only white" it's racist.

That's wrong, Peachy.'

Actuallyt hats not what I meant; re-read my post and swap OR to AND (poor re reading) and that's more like it; '"If you don't want them to be the only white AND you don't like Asian kids" it's racist.

I do know a bit about racism. I bloody well hope I do by now anyway!

'ds1 "whatever you bought yours in africa the last time you visited home" (the child is african)...

...Now tell me how is it racist to say to an african child (well of african descent) he bought his shoes in africa BUT is not racist to tell a child of Polish descent he bought his shoes in Poland?'

Perhaps because the child considers Britain to be his 'home', not 'Africa' just because he's 'of african descent'?

No excuse for the violence, though.

Meant to add, I agree with you about how divisive these situations can be. If given a choice, I would always tend towards the school with the best and widest cultural mix.

Indep, The family say "we are going home for the holidays"

But lets face it both kids said the same and only one was deemed racist why? oh yes because he is white

I do not worry about sending my children to a school where 95% of the population are of a different colour or race.
Perhaps rather naively, i thought we had moved on a bit in the last 50 years

"In a (for example) a 95% Bengali Muslim school, a white English child (or any non Bengali Muslim child) is going to be quite isolated. In a very ethnically diverse school - especially one that values diversity and actively celebrates it - all children will fit in."

Absolutely Mrs Mattie.

I would have thought that a WASP child would stick out like a sore thumb in an ethnically diverse school in the UK...

It's not about colour or race, it's about a good cultural mix. For the same reason I am not interested in sending my daughter to another local school which is predominantly white as this does not reflect the world she is growing up in and the culture in which she will eventually live and work.

God that sounds pious.

I like my children to have contact with cultures other than this one--and both their schools are good for this. They are both at school with Muslim and Jewish children.

However, I prefer it that the over-arching culture in which they are educated is a liberal, traditional, 'gently' and humanistically Christian British one. For me, this is non-negotiable and is why I have opted for private secondary schooling. There are plenty of African and Asian families who seem to share my belief.