Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The woman who got up the petition against a 3 year old

70 replies

dilemma456 · 17/03/2009 18:39

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
BabyBump2B · 17/03/2009 18:42

Well its a shame for her daughter but good for you for sticking up for the other family. You've turned a horrid situation around for them which will obvisouly mean a lot!

clayre · 17/03/2009 18:42

a mum started a petition cos her child got hit? (i missed your other thread)

I am speechless!

Stayingsunnygirl · 17/03/2009 18:42

Did anyone tell her how you all felt about her actions and the petition, dilemma?

Peachy · 17/03/2009 18:42

Oh someone did that to ds1 (ASD, not then dx'd

Reduced me to tears and my confidence hasn't yet recovered

We all have a responsibility to care for our kids, bt that can be achieved wthout ahrming others- sadly some people cannot see that though . When ds1 was bitten recently I didn't demand an exclusion but talked to my son about ho X had to deal with X Y Z (not SN_ home issues). Some poeple would say I was wrong though, and not prioritising ds1

TheArmadillo · 17/03/2009 18:43

That's probably about the best outcome you could have hoped for.

Not perfect but reasonable

screamingabdab · 17/03/2009 18:43

What a beeatch (her, not you). I do think people like this will be shocked out of their knickers when their DC (or a subsequent one) turns out to not always be angel, or to have problems. Hopefully then, they will show more compassion.

Well done to you and the other mums

Coca · 17/03/2009 18:43

my 18 month old dd2 was "suspended" from her nursey for pushing...lunacy

Peachy · 17/03/2009 18:44

Oh yes- thank you for doing this.I won't ever forget the Mum who refused to sign ds1'spetition and told me about it so I could ask the teachers (publicly) about it. (to be told in a, loud voive aimed at the aprents that no such petition ahd beenr eceived and they would look dimly on anyone who actually did hand one over)

Original poster
dilemma456 · 17/03/2009 18:45

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
solidgoldbrass · 17/03/2009 18:46

Oh FFS all under5s sooner or later wallop or bite or shove another child. It is part of the human socialisation process: kids have to learn that other people have rights and feelings and are not just objects to be pushed around. TBH a child who never, ever asserted him/herself enough to push another kid away or snatch back a toy would be a child that was really a bit too passive and probably had other problems.

Klaw · 17/03/2009 18:47

so much for her caring attitude eh?

At the moment we have a similar 'troublesome* new 2yr old at our playgroup and I think we need to deal with it carefuly first and speak with the parents about it before suddenly deciding to chuck her out. None of our kids are saints, they need discipline and nurturiing if they have any chance of learning about social etiquette.

Sadly, I won't be surprised if the playgroup workers don't get anywhere if she's not getting love and discipline at home. But she'll not get anywhere at all if we don't all try.

I think it will also serve as a useful learning tool for the other kids. I don't mean that it will be ok for them all to get bitten and kicked without come back but they will see it being dealt with and file it away in their clever little brains that this behaviour won't be tolerated.

laweaselmys · 17/03/2009 18:48

I hope nobody goes with her or frankly talks to her ever again, so that the nursery can become a much more pleasant environment.

Well done for supporting the family though, and glad somebody told you as well Peachy!

I needed this bit of sanity to cheer me up.

HumphreyCobbler · 17/03/2009 18:49

I remember your thread.
Thank God all the rest of you are so nice and supportive of the poor mother.
Bet you are glad to see the back of the bitch from hell. Still feel sorry for her daughter though, what a mother to have to put up with.

Peachy · 17/03/2009 18:51

At 2 / 3 as well it is impossible to tell if its an SN issue.

I know ds1 was completely undetectable as ASD back then, and I probably seemed less than perfect because I was exhausted caring for his exceptional needs.

So inclusion at that age is doubly important. Yes it may turn ut that at 6 he doesn't ahve SN but has just come from a 'problem family' but that is dealable with a 6; at 2/3 time, care and patience is the key.

edam · 17/03/2009 18:52

Blimey, what an awful, stupid woman. V. glad the other parents refused to go along with it.

purepurple · 17/03/2009 18:52

I work with children and some of them have behavioural issues and the nursery is sometimes the only stable thing in their lives.

I am pleased you stood your ground and did not behave in such a cruel and unsympathetic manner as this woman.

You have to hope that one day, it will be this woman who is in a similiar position and then maybe she will take her head out of her arse.

These children need love and support, not to be excluded at 3 years old. Children do not behave like this for no reason. Tjey are crying out for help. That's why I love my job, when I get to really get to know children and help them to deal with their issues.
And they do have issues, alcoholic mothers, fathers in prison, druggie parents, sexual abuse and not to forget divorce and seperation. We as adults, need help dealing with these, children are no different.
Rant over!

noonki · 17/03/2009 18:53

TCoca - suspending a 18 month old
that is the most ridiculous thing I have heard,
thank god DS1 never went to a nursery he would have been out the door in a minute!

Reallytired · 17/03/2009 18:55

Legally its nxt to impossible for a nursery or a pre school to exclude a child. My son was close to being excluded from pre school at the age of two years and eight months. He didn't hit anyone, he just refused to sit still or follow instructions.

My son's problem was that he was severely deaf. Once he had had help with his hearing he was a changed child.

purepurple · 17/03/2009 18:57

Reallytired, that makes me so
children should not be forced to sit still and listen at that age
I am pleased thet you got to the bottom of it

screamingabdab · 17/03/2009 18:59

Reallytired. The world has gone mad !!

And purepurple, you sound loverly

Kimi · 17/03/2009 19:01

Was asking for update on your other thread, thanks for letting us know

Original poster
dilemma456 · 17/03/2009 19:02

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Sorrento · 17/03/2009 19:05

It is difficult for the parents of the children getting hit though, this woman sounds totally over the top however we have a child in my daughters reception class who is belting seven bells out of our 4 year olds, it's clear something is very wrong with the child and she needs help, which is in hand apparently but why should my child be afraid to go to school.
This girl is ruining my daughters introduction into school and I fear for the long term consequences of somebody elses childs issues, it really isn't fair.
I'd like to ask those who work in an early years setting what should be being done to stop the lashing out ?

purepurple · 17/03/2009 19:06

screamingabdab
I am loverly
I spend all day every day with other people's children and wouldn't do anything else. The money is crap, I've only ever had 1 holiday abroad because I refuse to get a better paid job because i love mine. I want to be involved in children's lives and make a difference. And I get called "Mum" by mistake every day and the parents tell me that they get called my name at home

Tortington · 17/03/2009 19:06

i wish twins upon this terrible woman