The woman who got up the petition against a 3 year old

[dilemma456]

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Your attitude isn't good@Sorrento. I sympathise, but do you think demonising a small child is going to help? Seriously?

And what if you didn't pay? Would it be OK, then? .

Sorrento really tehre arent that many- the citry I live in has 24 places at senior level. 24!. With IIRC 10 kids for each palce (and thats after a localschool was given a last minute reprieve; should have been 12 places).

LEA aim is to get all kids in MS at 11 bar the very most severely affected. We're already looing at how we could move or pay to avoid this for ds3 if necessary, and he's not yet 6.

your child is in their care when they are not ther - have you looked at their anti-bullying policy. quite frankly 'kids do that' kind of response is shitty.

I bet your DD feels as bad- I wouldnt say necessarily worse though; I cant go tos chool alone any mroe without massive panic attacks after I was verbally assaulted by a parent over what turned out to be an accident anyway.

Which in no way diminidhes your dd's experiences: 2 shitty experiences doesn't make either any less significant.

(BTW as an aside a child that responds aggressively at play /luch but not in the class is a red flag fro ASD, I dont know if the school has looked at that or not. Well worth browing the national autistic site- school not you- for ideas)

She's not in private school at the moment, that is what I am looking having to fund Mrs Mattie to protect my child so don't raise your eyebrow at me.
I blame the school not the 4 year old, with a family history of issues I'm horrified it has been allowed to carry on for 6 months, they should have been ready to tackle this from day one with a strategy.

the school will have an anti bullying policy - write to them put it in writing

whinging at the teacher means nothing = make it official put it in writing, ask for a copy of the anti bullying policy

southeast- some kind of toddler borstal I shouldn't wonder... Mad!

Toddlers/children are ALL difficult in their own ways. There is nothing more heart-sink than people thinking their child is perfect and it's other people's that are the problem. Give it time and it'll be theirs if it's not now... If your child is easy, be thankful, and wait for the time when it won't be. And avoid judging people whose children are not so easy.

duchesse, you are so right!
I come up against this attitude every day, it is always somebody else's child who is at fault

Well there's not easy and then there's violent, one is acceptable and the other isn't.
Would you like to work in an office where every now and then I walk up to you and give you a smack or a snidey kick whilst you make coffee.
You wouldn't stand for it.
Maybe borstal needs to make a come back, the softly softly approach isn't doing much bleedin good is it.

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And can I just chip in controversially and say that in virtually every place of work, there is always an office bully, who granted does not walk up to people and clock them one but instead spreads malicious gossip, makes people feel bad about themselves, ignores them or in the worst case is the boss! Ostracising a 3 yr old because she is having a few toddlers difficulties, or making her mother feel 3 inches tall, might very well come under that heading. This other mother sounds as though she has some serious control issues- wanting everything to run her way.

herbie- I've noticed that in every class at school there is always a kid that everyone will blame for things even if they had nothing to do with it. It's hideous, particularly by secondary school as often these kids will have zero self-esteem by then. I saw this in operation quite recently in a school near here, with two different kids. Kid 1 came to my children's school from this other school in year 5 because he was not being taught with his classmates, was effectively on permanent internal exclusion. The teachers and all the parents, as well as the children were all blaming him for everything that went wrong. When he left, the scapegoat became another boy, who left the school 6 months after the first- the parents were furious, as they watched their child take the place of the first within weeks, and not of his own doing.

The first child was very bright but very much ADHD and easily riled. The second was also extremely bright but on the AS spectrum and would insist on putting everyone right, including teachers, when he knew they had made a mistake. He was not Mr Popular at that school. Both these boys thrived at my children's school, and the ADHD one went on to top sets in a high performing comprehensive (from full time internal exclusion, quite a leap). The other boy's parents decided that he would be better off being taught at home, but he left after 18 months a changed and much happier boy.

Until your child is at receiving end of this crap, or you see it at close quarters, you may actually not believe it possible.

you are so right herbie. we have a child in our village with severe ADHD. Poor boy was literally blamed for every child related incident in the preschool. It became 2nd nature and the immediate response of all the other dc's. Awful situation.
Am very glad to hear there was a positive outcome to this dilemma.

I have seen both sides. My son was demonised until we found out the real problem and he got help with his hearing.

Recently he has had problems with being hit by a child with autism. Rather than wanting the child excluded I want the school to accept they are coping with the situation and bring in the autism advisory teacher for ideas.

EBD schools still do exist, but frankly its ludicous to suggest sending a three year old to a school for emotional and behavioural problems. Three years old is way too young to suggest that a child is not fit for mainstream. The child needs help and compassion rather than exclusion. It is extremely rare for a child to go an EBD school before juniors.

I am sure that many private school parents are quite happy to have their school fees subsidised by nursery vouchers during the foundation stage. Insitutions that accept governant vouchers have to accept OFSTED rules. Unfortunately this means that private schools have to cater for special needs, including less than perfectly behaved children.

Getting up a petition against a 3 year old is TERRIBLE behaviour.

Dilema - Well that is very bad news you're right so what you're basically saying is that my child isn't safe from physical abuse in any classroom ?

Luckily the school I have my eye on I've discussed the matter with already and they would ask the parents to remove the child if there were regular incidents so unlike the state school my DD is currently at their hands are not tied.
However I think it will be an outcry if that is what it comes to and I shall not leave quietly for the sake of the children who's parents cannot move them, 29 other children should not suffer because the school cannot cope with one.

To the OP - well done to you and the other Parents. I read the other thread with interest.

At our Nursery their is an issue with another DC who is constantly aggressive. One family have changed their days to avoid the DC in question, the others have all just gone along with the Nursery guidance and it seems to be improving the problem. DD has not had bite marks for ages now

Saying that - DD was told off today for pinching, I was mortified as she is usually so well behaved. Her Key worker was actually embarrassed to talk to me about it!

DD and I have had words (well as best you can with a 2.5yr old!) and I hope it does not happen again. However I do know that if she does develop an issue, they will be supportive and not push her out of the door without trying to help us.

Sorrento its not that 29 kids shouldn't suffer for one, but that 30 kids shouldn't suffer for crap input and management skills

A 3 yr old is a baby! You can't start asking babies to leave because they are not able to fit in yet. A good nursery will work with the DC to stop the anti social behaviour.