Why does my mum do this? doesn't it seem odd to anyone else?

[HopelessRomantic]

So a few months ago my mum went to a farmer's market. She asked me if I wanted anything bringing back and mentioned that they do nice cornish pasties. I politely explained that we don't like cornish pasties but would perhaps try their black pudding.

So she goes and comes back with Cornish pasties. I thanked her anyway and we did eat them ... we were not keen however and when she asked us what we thought, I replied "they were really well made, but we just don't like cornish pasties in general ... but thanks anyway".

So the next weekend she asks again if we want anything from the farmers market. I give a straight "No thanks". She comes back with some cornish pasties I thanked her but didn't say we enjoyed them...instead I said "I'll have to try and get through them all as the kids won't touch them". I said it in a nice way. My mum seemed to understand that we didn't like them.

So the weekend after, she asked if we wanted anything from the market. I said "No, definately not. But thanks anyway". She mentioned they do a nice lamp and mint pie and looked quite offended so I caved and said I'd try the lamp pie. She said "do you want me to bring you some cornish pasties back?" so I said "no, we just don't like them".

So she goes, comes back and says very apologetically "they didn't have any lamb pies". I say "oh its ok, thanks for looking anyway" so she cheers up and says "but I did get you some cornish pasties!"

WHY? WHY? WHY? would you do this??

She does it with everything. She started buying me some soap bars from a similar market. I have very sensitive skin and cannot use them. I told her this but thanked her anyway for the thought. So she now buys me 3-4 bars of it everytime she goes!

alzheimers ?

This is most odd!
Do you just have to say NO MORE PASTIES, NO MORE SOAP?

Pmls!

Has she considered a career in marketing?

My Aunt is like this. It drives me nuts, but I feel bad becasue she is trying to be nice. I try to tune it out now, just smile and nod.

It does seem odd.
Can you ask her why she does it?
Is this is a recent development?

sorry, meant to add a to the Alzheimers comment, was meant to be lighthearted

is she called Mrs Ginster?
Avon Ginster?

next time, just go with her and don't let her buy them!

set up your own stall with the pies

My mum is trying to be nice but it does piss me off a bit.

The kids are currently excitedly wrapping up my mothers day present which is very sweet of course ... but I'm sure I just heard one of them mention soap in a hushed voice and my mum has taken them to buy it.

Of course I'll smile sweetly and thank them if it is soap but what winds me up more is that she tries to make the kids believe I like this stuff too.

Like last time they came back with loads of it DS said "I wanted to buy you chocolate ... but grandma said you'd like this much more"

she is trying to kill you

She has always been a bit like this but it's definately getting worse. These past couple of years she's been terrible and I often wonder if she IS ok sometimes.

Is she generally forgetful or is this the only time she does it?

For some reason, my Mum occasionally insists that I love say bananas (I loathe the smell of them) and hate celery. When I point out that the reverse actually applies, she she looks abashed and admits that she gets confused with 4 children plus a dh to cater for!

If this is the only thing she muddles up, I'd let it go and palm the pasties on off someone else.

lol anyfucker, to anyone that LIKED cornish pasties, these would be lovely! I can tolerate them which I have never been able to do with any other cornish pasty! so they must be good.

watch your back!

and your skin!

and your cholesterol!

no Sally, she does it with lots of stuff.

At the moment she is getting terrible for getting my name wrong. She calls me every other female name in the family before settling on my real name.

Its so frustrating sometimes.

I think everyone gets forgetful to some extent as they get older. My mum does something like this - she will remember something to do with DH and tea but thinks itis that he hates it when actually he likes it - so whenever we turn up she makes him a coffee and everyone else gets tea. It has kind of stuck. She does that kind ofthing all the time. Even persuaded DH that I would like an emerald eternity ring when i am [meh] about emeralds. Actually she likes them !

I think you should just give her a hand and not be so polite . Say " have a nice time at the market mum but please PLEASE don't buy me any cornish pasties. They make me fart ".

(And btw Avon Ginster was funny )

ok here is a perfect example!

Last year she was filling out her passport application.

I said to her "make sure you put your marriage certificate and birth certificates in". She said "I will".

Next minute she is on the phone "do i really need to add my birth certificate?"

I said "yes, AND marriage certificate".

So she sends the forms off with neither the forms come back. I said "why didn't you put the certificates in???" she said "I didn't think they'd need them.

So as she's due to send them off again I said "you have added birth and marriage certificates, yes?" she replies "Yeah .. I think so"

The forms come back ... wrong marriage certificate and no birth certificate. I swear to god these forms came back about 5 times and in the end they sent her for an face to face interview.

The worst bit however ... happened last week. She was filling in the passport forms for my younger sister. I said "for gods sake, don't forget the birth certificate". She said "I won't".

Needless to say, the forms came back ... no birth certificate.

For the love of all thing holy ... I said to her as she was about to post them again "Have you added THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE?" she said "yes! I'm not stupid you know!"

Guess what ... the forms come back. But she HAD added the birth certificate ... only this time she had spelt my sisters name WRONG on the application form!!! After 15 years, HOW??!!??

I used to swear blind she did it for attention. I just don't know anymore.

actually, on a serious note, unless she is truly scatterbrained like a minority of people can be, it does sound a bit concerning if this is a scenario that is getting worse

how old is she?

is she on any medication?

Also is she under any kind of stress?

i got quite concerned about my memory until I went and had a chat with my GP where ( between us) we realised that this was a symptom of my being under a lot of stress and being overly tired.

And when my dad dies my mum was very scattery for a year or so - she was just so upset and pre-occupied. She is much better now.

Anything like that could be bothering your mum? Is she aware that she is forgetful?

died - not dies . Obviously

That's what I mean Anyfucker, it does worry me

She's 54, not on medication as far as I know. She has always been scatterbrained but it just seems so much worse now. Even my grandma commented the other day.

Take for instance last night I was telling her about this man I had met and mentioned that I thought it was odd that he had told his child all about me already. Convo went like this:

me - "He's told his child all about me"
mum - "Oh good, I believe the other person should know if kids are involved".
Me - "no, he told ME about the child ages ago, what I'm saying is ... he's told the child about ME, I think its too early"
mum - "no, I told Martin all about you when I got with him, its only fair that they should know if you have children"
me - "No, mum ... listen ... he has told THE CHILD all about ME"
mum - "yes, well when I got with Martin, first thing I said was "I have a daughter" and he was fine with that ... its only fair that they know".

I got so angry I had to change the subject.

Would she go and chat to the Doctor with you ?

No she would snap my head off at the slightest suggestion. That's another thing, she's so 'touchy' these days.

My mom used to say my dad's, brother's and the dog's name before she remembered mine.

I think if this forgetfulness is something she didn't previously do, I'd be a bit worried. My grandmother was having little strokes for ages and noone knew. She'd accuse people of stealing stuff she'd misplaced or gotten rid of. And was definitely more forgetful. She was in her mid-60s I think when this started happening. Now at 80 she forgets what you've said to her five minutes ago, but then will remember all sorts of things that surprise you.

My father had an MRI for something else and they discovered he has also had some very tiny strokes. I certainly think he's more forgetful now (60 this year).

I think the question really is, has she always been this bad? Or has it gradually gotten worse?

No its definatelly gotten worse.

Like I lent her a DVD. Told her to look after it as it was one of my favourites. She'd had it for ages so I asked her if she'd finished with it. Turns out she sent it to charity shop along with a load of other things.