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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want to cover someone else's rent this month?

68 replies

Anglepoise · 13/03/2009 16:42

Genuinely interested to see if AIBU but mainly I just want to rant!

Friend and I co-own a flat in London which we bought several years ago and used to share. Since then, I have met and married DH and had DD and she has met her DP. We moved 200 miles away when I was pregnant with DD and friend's DP moved in. He is theoretically renting my room, which pays off my share of the mortgage, but obviously shares her room and they keep my old room as a spare.

He has just been made redundant so has signed on for housing benefit to cover his share of the rent. He's just emailed to say that it will take a few weeks to go through, so he won't be able to pay rent this month and could I cover it. I am really really really annoyed. Surely if you can't cover your rent, that's your problem, not your landlord's?

I am still on maternity leave and what I get in SMP doesn't cover it. I could ask DH, who has savings, but I don't think this is up to us, is it? My friend is earning around double what DH and I currently have to live on, so I don't understand why her DP hasn't asked her - but all that aside, isn't it his problem not mine? Or is it my mortgage so my responsbility?

OP posts:

Peachy · 13/03/2009 16:46

Weel as I see it (and have been both landlord and tenant) you have 3 choices:

get p'd off and pay it anyway

Tell him no chance, prepare to find a new tenant (in which case you'd probably have to find 2 as she'll walk also no doubt)

Accept that HB take a few weeks, express some disappointment but keep the stress levels minimal.

Which one is up to you but I knw which one is the easiest. he should get the HB for this month, just not yet iyswim...... perhaps call the council and ask them?

staryeyed · 13/03/2009 16:47

If he has put in a claim for housing benefit it should be backdated to the date they applied as long as they are entitled to it. It is paid in arrears though, but you should get your money back eventually.

Original poster

Anglepoise · 13/03/2009 16:49

Thanks - I hadn't thought of that

OP posts:

beanieb · 13/03/2009 16:52

"He's just emailed to say that it will take a few weeks to go through, so he won't be able to pay rent this month and could I cover it"

Absolutely not! Has he asked his Partner to sub him? Maybe speak to her and ask her to sub him?

beanieb · 13/03/2009 16:54

oh - sorry - misread the OP. If it were me I would call his partner and explain and say something like 'I'm assuming he hasn't asked you, obviously it's not really financially possible for me to cover his rent too so can you sort somethig out for him?'

Seems unlikely he'll walk if he's living with her, or that she'll walk if she owns half?

Original poster

Anglepoise · 13/03/2009 16:54

I would have thought she would be the obvious choicen - think this is why it's annoyed me that he's emailed me, stressing me out (we have a really low income at the moment) and making me feel bad for wanting to say no!

OP posts:

beanieb · 13/03/2009 16:55

ps... could he use his redundancy pay to pay the rent?

AxisofEvil · 13/03/2009 16:57

I'd phone your friend and say you're confused. She probably knows nothing about his email and will probably be embarassed.

BTW I'm not sure but I think he may not be eligible for HB as you can't pay rent to family which in essence he will be doing as his partner is the co owner.

Original poster

Anglepoise · 13/03/2009 16:57

Actually I'm not sure whether he got made redundant or just didn't have his contract renewed - they both work in the meeja.

OP posts:

dilemma456 · 13/03/2009 16:58

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Anglepoise · 13/03/2009 17:00

I suspect my friend doesn't know either, and she will be embarrassed, which also makes me feel bad and also slightly annoyed that he seems to think I'm the softer touch. Or maybe his logic has gone that it's my room/mortgage so I'm the obvious person to cover it? which I find a bit odd, but there you go.

If he can't get HB then we're a bit screwed, but surely they don't count as family if they're not married? Would be a bit unfair to get none of the benefits of being married by co-habiting but still be penalised for it.

OP posts:

beanieb · 13/03/2009 17:00

I didn't even notice this was you.

fluffles · 13/03/2009 17:02

i'd just reply and say 'sorry to hear the news, unfortunately i really do need the rent to cover the mortgage payment - can you send what you can now please and the rest as soon as? thanks.'

AxisofEvil · 13/03/2009 17:03

Looks like he will be barred (although given she only owns 50% I don't know if that affects the analysis):

info from shelter

fluffles · 13/03/2009 17:04

i can sort of understand him chancing his arm - no harm in asking really, but you are totally being reasonable to say that no, you can't cover it actually.

[tbh. i dont' understand why people get so tied in knots saying no to requests not just in this case but in general...]

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 13/03/2009 17:04

I'm afraid you definitely cannot claim housing benefit based on your income alone, or rent from a partner even if just cohabiting and not married

Lulumama · 13/03/2009 17:05

regardless of being unreasonable or not, surely as a landlord you have to expect at some point, for your tenants to leave/ be in arrears/ or for the house to be empty and therefor need a contingency plan?

beanieb · 13/03/2009 17:10

erk - I think if he is not entitled to housing benefit then you should say no on the basis that you don't really know if his claim is going to be successful.

On the other hand, if they have set the flat up to look like they are just friends sharing a flat (I would say pretty easy to get away with) then he probably won't have a problem getting benefit but he would be lying and he could get caught. Does the Flatmate/partner even know he's applied for housing benefit?

He's only asking to be covered for a month, trouble is you just don't know if he's going to have the money in a month so if you say yes now it could mean that he'll be expecting you to cover him again next month.

Difficult but I would speak to the flatmate.

fluffles · 13/03/2009 17:11

also bear in mind that if they as a couple are falling on hard times she might well have to sell her share of the house - which i'm guessing means you selling yours too? Unless i guess you could find an investor??? either way, you are all going to have to deal with this together so it's time for all three of you to talk.

Original poster

Anglepoise · 13/03/2009 17:18

Crapola, I just wanted to let off steam and now I'm worried I'm inadvertently committing benefit fraud.

... Sorry, DD is refusing to nap although she really really wants to ...

fluffles I can't mention money because I am English and it is hardwired into my system to be horribly embarrassed about it

Fanjo bother bother. He does have me down as landlord but this is just making me worry about benefit fraud

Lulumama I want to put the flat on the market and sell for whatever we can get, so that I am free from this kind of worry and can buy a family home with DH. Friend does not want to do this as she will then have to find somewhere else to live and won't get much from the sale.

OP posts:

JazzHands · 13/03/2009 17:32

Anglepoise it's not you possibly committing fraud though, it's him, surely, so don't worrt about that. Unless you have signed his claim form or something. He's put the claim in, he's lied, his problem.

I think you need to call your friend and talk to her about the email.

Do you have a tenancy agreement in place for the partner or is it all on a casual basis as they are mates?

lalalonglegs · 13/03/2009 17:37

I think that if HB know that he is co-habiting with your friend then he will not qualify for HB. If he pretends that he is living in the spare room then he is commiting benefit fraud... it's not a great situation and one that you will have to tackle with him and friend.

EdwardBear · 13/03/2009 17:38

Don't start paying it as you'll set a precedent and you might never see the money again!
Resapomd to him and tell him that you are on maternity leave and literally do not have the money to cover his rent.
Tell him that him and his gf will have to cover it or else you'll have to rent out the 'spare' room not being used to cover the mortgage so you dont get re-possesed. If he isnt going to be able to pay it long term then you'll have to tell your friend that you'll all need to sell up.

staryeyed · 13/03/2009 17:40

AH I assumed friend wasn't working of partner was applying for HB. If she is owner/LL he will also have problems claiming HB.

AxisofEvil · 13/03/2009 17:45

Well then, there are three options:

1 - they continue to pay all the mortgage

2 - they come up with some other way of financing the mortgage (probably by renting out "your" room) so it can still be covered and they take responsibility for managing this

3 - the property is sold

And frankly unless they can sort out 1 or 2 then they have to have 3. But you're not going to be committing benefit fraud whatever happens unless you start signing form.

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