My wife has taken a sudden interest in garden gnomes....

[RhubarbsLesserHalf]

She keeps feeling their little bottoms. And last night she asked if I would mind dressing as a gnome and indulging in a bit of bumsex. What do I do?

take her out into the garden at 1 minute past 12 and turn her round 6 times with a head scarf on - then leg it back in the house and lock the doorr

That doesn't doesn't at all 'elfy to me.

Don't you know that gnomes have HUGE willies! I think I'm interested too.

I'm not an expert, make gnome mistake, but this sounds like this could lead to trouble.

Has she got the leprec-horn?....

I can't believe that none of you are taking this seriously! That's my wife!

(and she bitches about you all the time)

what are you waiting for?

Actually those two men do look quite sexy in those outfits don't they? Perhaps I could dress up, just this once. She does seem awfully keen on the idea and if it stops her from shagging David Tennant then it has to be worth it, right?

I think it is a pic of a male and female, actually.

You'll be fine, as long as she doesn't want you to try uphill gardening outside. Tis still a little chilly I reckon. Your fishing rod might get a touch of frost.

They look very happy together don't they? I hope my tackle's up to it.

wait, is this not normal then

Yeah, you'll have to make sure you do your gnomework. Check out the elf and safety aspects before you take the plunge, as it were.

Gnomeally I wouldn't do this, but what the elf!

Everyone needs a hobbit!

I think you need to be careful of bum sex with a short arse.

God i thougth this was another Steiner thread!

i met a little dusty gnome
I said can I take you to my home
spank spank spank
whip whip whip
I like to *%£^ my gnome like this!