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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is PC gone mad?

268 replies

Frasersmum123 · 12/03/2009 19:01

DS is 8 on Saturday and I have bough him some sweets to give out to his friends tomorrow. He has done this every year so far without a problem.

Today his teacher came to see me in the playground and told me that he wasnt allowed to give out the sweets, as the school cant condone giving them out and that it goes against their healthy eating policy

Surely a fun-size bag of Haribo isnt going to hurt anyone? Its not like its done every day!

OP posts:
Danceaway · 13/03/2009 13:56

It's a funny old world. Def makes me feel old when todays 'norms' eg banning peanut butter, seem such a bizarre yet understandable thing to do.
Like twittering - wtf is that all about.

laweaselmys · 13/03/2009 13:57

I think nut bans are usually there only when there is a child at the school with a very severe allergy, or sometimes with younger children if they may not have had them before/parents not know they might be allergic.

parsley3 · 13/03/2009 14:07

Although there is a healthy eating policy and sweets/choc/crisps are not allowed in lunch bags at my DS1/2/DD school, exception is made for birthdays and the birthday child can give out a small funsize choc/sweet at the end of the day and still in the classroom- this way any child who may be excluded because of allergy etc. is given a suitable alternative by the teacher.(It is a small school so other parents usually know which child in the class has an allergy etc)The trend seems to die off at our school by around Yr3. I can understand some parents may not want their child to have a sweet - fine- I don't like mine having LOADS but in response to the original post Frasersmum I can understand why you feel miffed. (BTW last time I looked my kids were not overweight and still had their own teeth). Sorry -long!

Grumpyoldcaaaaaaaa · 13/03/2009 14:13

nomoreamover

I wasn't getting at you - I just get a bit wound up by some of the messages some schools promote - all fats BAAAAAAAAD.

But, DD1's best friend is allergic to peanuts but devoted to cakes and whatnot and likes to sample the (homemade) cakes/flapjacks etc I put in DD's pack-up , I am aware of her allergy and have sourced non-peanut-contacted flour and oats so I can make extra for her......with her mum's blessing.

I'm on Maternity Leave, so have a lot of time on my hands

I shall step away from the post now, as it was really about sweets......

choccyp1g · 13/03/2009 14:17

It's not "PC gone mad" it's a perfectly sesible rule. Why should someone else feed your children sweets? You don't expect other people to dish out tuna sandwiches or vitamin pills, or frozen peas or any other sort of food, so why do we dish out sweeties to other children? It's completely different when they come to a party or visit your house, but school should not involve random E-numbers.

RumourOfAHurricane · 13/03/2009 14:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Peachy · 13/03/2009 14:52

'their reasoning is that its for the protection of other children who may have a nut allergy.....

not sure why they'd be eating my children's lunch however......... ' I think (this is clarification please dont see as criticism) that its because once you have an allergy it can worsen at any time,and for a nut allergy sufferer that could be simple through topuching (or n themost severe cases being close to) nuts or someone who has recently had them. People have on occasione died simply frombeing close to nuts, and its not worth the risk.

MorrisZapp · 13/03/2009 15:31

Sorry, I can't take anybody seriously who says 'PC gone mad' in a non-ironic way.

YABU

laweaselmys · 13/03/2009 15:35

Everytime I see this thread I want to start talking in a Yorkshire accent "gorrrne mad." It's very distracting.

(I've never been to Yorkshire btw.)

MorrisZapp · 13/03/2009 15:41

I used to think that Maureen Lipman did a terribly good Yorkshire accent.

Then I found out she's from Hull.

MorrisZapp · 13/03/2009 15:43

...and one more aside about Yorkshire accents. Did you know that the vet who wrote the James Herriot books paid for private elocution lessons for his kids, so that they didn't end up sounding Yorkshire? They grew up in Thirsk.

Peachy · 13/03/2009 15:46

Wasn't there somesuch about PC being invented by the bush adminitration to discredit anyone who wanted any form of social policy?

Besides the opposite of politically incorrect is politically incorrcta dn I so hate being wrong (not that I ever am you understand)

So by the title alone YABU

Otherwise, YABu but not amssively so

MadamDeathstare · 13/03/2009 16:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oopsagain · 13/03/2009 16:40

it makes me laugh- there's the group who hae no problem that their children are gien melted pigs and theink that the group who do ar uptight.

and the group that don't want it- i don't care what you gie your kids- not trying to stop you do anything with your kids.

just want you to stop giing my kids crap.

that's all.

Peachy · 13/03/2009 16:49

oopsagain could you acnowledge that there asre dietary issues beyond melted pigs?

You seem to want to believe nly that matters- referencing your other thread

some of us are just dasmned glad to find a mainstream sweet (or any food) our kids can enjoy without getting ill tbh.

As it happens I send foods in to the teachers so they can give them out instead: why can't you do this? Does your 'belief' give you a superiority over 'important health need'?

thean · 13/03/2009 17:25

It's a tiny packet of sweets. There is prob 30 kids in the class tops. Spread over the year that isn't a lot of sweets. You aren't being unreasonable. Kids aren't going to lose teeth from 1 packet of sweets every few weeks.At our school they are handed out and end of day and most kids at that age know if they are allergic, intolerant etc.

Bigpants1 · 13/03/2009 19:50

Agree with the ticking boxes-its the same for the Eco-schools awards-three boxes have to be ticked to get each level of the award. Whilst there is nothing wrong with this per say, I have a real problem when it gets to the point of actually looking into childrens lunch boxes and dictating what you as a parent are /are not allowed to put in them.These are our children and i dont tell the teachers what they can teach my dc,(i didnt even complain when they brought home a leaflet with Childlines num on it and waved it at me for grounding them).I am a member of my Parent Council, and when it came to one of the teachers suggesting looking in packed lunch boxes, I was really un comfortable. There are a lot of low income families at the school, but its not just for that reason-are parents really happy to be told what to do like this-where does it stop?

oopsagain · 13/03/2009 20:15

i am interested in the argument that the school shouldn't dictate to us what our children eat.

Totally agree.

And on the other hand, I am also not telling anybody else what to feed their kids- I really don't mind. Couldn't give a flying

So why does it then follow that it is ok for people to give my children sweets...

flockwallpaper · 13/03/2009 20:34

Frasersmum I agree with you.

ingles2 · 13/03/2009 20:51

I just don't get this "feeding my children sweets" argument.
I'm sure in most case the sweets are given at the end of the day, if your children are really not allowed them, then surely they know to refuse? or can they not possibly if sweets come their way, and have to shove them in their mouth as quick as they can?
DS1 has a severe peanut allergy, If there are sweets handed out, he knows he can't have them and he's been quite capable of that since about 5.
I can't stand being dictated to by the school. This week we have a healthy eating initiative, involving going into school to learn how to make smoothies.... how bloody patronising!
This is in a very middle of the road middle class school, there isn't an obese child in sight and quite frankly I'd rather that teacher was teaching my son!

oopsagain · 13/03/2009 21:04

well, my kids are allowed sweets.
And I do let them have treats...

ANd , yes, they know that some sweets aren't what I'd like them to eat.

So, my 5yr old and 3yr old get given sweets at the end of the day. they are tired and excited by the sweets.

And so i hae to explain that I don't really think they should have them, for whatever my reason (and it doesn't matter what it is...)
So i have to take the sweets off the kids.
And that makes us all feel stressed...a dn the n i hae to go to the shop to get some more sweets that don't hae the stuff in that i don't like.

which part of that is "fun" and "sharing" and whatever else were the reasns used for kids to bring in junk for the other kids.

it just causes hassle and stress IME and I'd rater pick my kids up from school, let them paly for a bit and then go home.
I don't want maything more than that TBH.
I don't care what other kifds are eating/not eating.

I jsut feel it is about respect for other people and their beliefs.
But i am also aware that I seem to be in a minority- I'm just trying to explaina nd ask people to think about it- not trying to dictate or push my beliefs onto anyone else....

It jsut makes my life complicated and i really really don't see the need.

ingles2 · 13/03/2009 21:08

your 3 yr old is given sweets? Really? I've never heard of it being a nursery thing.
Well if it's such a big deal to your children, then you should probably tell the teacher that none should be given to your dc's.
But quite frankly, mine we're used to being told no at that point without having a complete meltdown because after all ... it is only 30 days a year at the very most!

Tidey · 13/03/2009 21:11

Personally, I don't have a problem if DS is given sweets at school if it's someone's birthday, as it's usually only one or two sweets per child and doesn't happen very often.

When it's his birthday, he takes some in return. I always check with a teacher beforehand to make sure the rules haven't changed on being allowed to do this. The children aren't allowed to eat them in school, so parents have the option of taking them away if they're not happy.

If any children aren't allowed sweets for whatever reason, the school should be aware of it.

oopsagain · 13/03/2009 21:14

yes, the 3yr old is given sweets.

And the 5yr old.

And I do tell them, it jsut seems sad.

I've talked to other people on m,any other threads here and it isn't unusual,

usually people have a tin at school with jelly tots or something in them.
But it's jsut tedious, and I'd rather it jsut didn't happen.

I take my kids to school and nursey for the educationla experience- nt so that i hae to wrestle sweets off them ,
I know thye get used to it etc, and it's all part of day to day life, but it is jsut the worng time of the day, isn't it.
Hard at 3.30 to get the kids to behave rationally.

and then the other parents think I'm bonkers- as one can tell on here... "it's jsut a small amount of melted pig-- blah blah"

nkf · 13/03/2009 21:17

You probaably have a point but anyone who writes "pc gone mad" can't be taken seriously. Sorry and all that.

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