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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is PC gone mad?

268 replies

Frasersmum123 · 12/03/2009 19:01

DS is 8 on Saturday and I have bough him some sweets to give out to his friends tomorrow. He has done this every year so far without a problem.

Today his teacher came to see me in the playground and told me that he wasnt allowed to give out the sweets, as the school cant condone giving them out and that it goes against their healthy eating policy

Surely a fun-size bag of Haribo isnt going to hurt anyone? Its not like its done every day!

OP posts:
Rollmops · 13/03/2009 09:28

Quote " I think if you totally ban sweets/cakes when the dc get older, they seem all the more appealing."

My sister and I are living proof that this is not always the case.
My grandma was quite strict about sweets and we weren't given any until we were about 4-5.
We gorged on apples and berries and pears and plums and every shade of currants until ready to explode. Benefit of having a most massive orchard of edible things at grandmas farm.
When the sweets finally appeared we were completely indifferent to them and still are.
Bless grandma!
Were we deprived of the 'best things in life', I do not think so.

Sassybeast · 13/03/2009 10:28

I don't like my kids having unsolicited melted pigs either so YABU.

TiggyR · 13/03/2009 10:55

I think this is fairly standard practice these days I think. I agree it seems a shame, but without the opportunity for parents to vet the brand and quality of the sweets, when there are thirty children in a class, some of them will have allergies, some will have weight issues, some will have rotten teeth, some will not do well on colours and E numbers, some will be veggie and unaware of the gelatine and some will just have joyless uptight mothers who sap all the fun out of everything. On that basis, it's better for the school to just say No than to get bogged down in who can and can't have what. It's a sign of the times! not to mention what would happen from a health and safety/liability perspective should a child inhale a cola bottle, turn blue and drop dead before they were safely off the school premises.

GetOrfMoiLand · 13/03/2009 11:05

YABU for many reasons, nmost of which are listed above, such as Haribo having gelatin in so unsuitable for vegetarians (I suppose OP will rant about that as well), it is against a very sensible healthy eating policy and it may contravene a parents choice not to give their kids sweets.

Plus, PC Gone Mad???? Is the OP Richard twat Littlejohn?

Anyway, why the bloody hell should teachers faff around doling out sweets on behalf of the parents? Why would you expect them to waste their time doing this? They are at school, not Willy Wonka's Chocolate factory.

When DD went to infant school it was the 'tradition' to send in sweets on the birthday. Then they banned it. Thank fuck for that I thought, it was a PITA. OP - do you really care that much??

Rollmops · 13/03/2009 11:10

So, not allowing your child to eat horrid artificial sweets makes one a "joyless uptight mother who sap all the fun out of everything." ? If a packet of cheap candy equals with childhood happiness then I really pity you.

CompareTheMeerkat · 13/03/2009 11:17

My sister (25) used to take sweets into school when it was her birthday.

Peachy · 13/03/2009 11:22

I don't think it should be alloewd not for the health fact but because it always leaves some poor child left out

you get 'don't gibve Haribo, veggies can't eat them' and I want to yell 'Please give haribo, gluten free kids can eat them'....

and tbh you'd be ebst f buying a pack of novelty pencils from poundland if you really want to do something.

TiggyR · 13/03/2009 11:30

Rollmops - something tells me you've heard this description before. Do none of the other justfications I listed apply to you then, or do you just feel happier taking the last one personally?

Actually I do let my child eat certain sweets, from time to time, and others are a no-no all of the time. I have the same philosophy with sweets as I have to alcohol. A good bottle of champagne or claret once or twice a week is a pleasurable edition to life, and is not the same as having 5 litres of white lightening with a turps chaser on a daily basis. Pity me if it makes you feel better, but there's really no need I assure you. I imagine my comment made some people smile in recognition of certain people they know though, so I'm cool thanks.

Fleurlechaunte · 13/03/2009 12:08

YANBU OP. I live in a deprived, inner city area. The class sizes at DSs' primary school are very large. Many parents at DS's school are not in a position to give birthday parties for their dc so the school have a policy of allowing you to bring a cake and party bags in so that the kids can share it with their class mates. I think it is lovely and the kids get so much out of it. I think some of the responses on this thread have been incredibly precious.

TiggyR · 13/03/2009 12:20

Fleur - Thank God. It's not just me then! I absolutely understand why it may be a bad idea on many levels, and consequently more trouble than it's worth. I just don't understand why some people get such a kick out of being so po-faced and sanctimonious.

TiggyR · 13/03/2009 12:33

Have just noticed the post from HerBeatitudeLittleBella a page or so back, and you are sooo on my wavelength about the tick-box thing. I sometimes think I'm going mad when I hear some of the professional advice offered in relation to nutrition for children (or adults for that matter) these days.

SoupDragon · 13/03/2009 12:33

"it teaches them to share" No it doesn't! Handing out a packet of cr*p haribo to each child doesn't teach them how to share. Giving a child a big bowl of popcorn and saying they have to sit down and share it teaches them how to share.

Saying it makes them feel special on their birthday is a red herring too. My children still feel special on theirs and I certainly felt special on all of mine despite not having cr*p haribo handed out.

It is so unnecessary.

Rollmops · 13/03/2009 12:36

Tiggy, I have seen countless rather excessively corpulent mommies and their wobbly, fat offspring stuffing their round faces with the very sweets, while complaining that 'guvernment' is not doing enough to help them .... with what, begs the question.
As for your editions to life. well, I'm sure they are lovely.
My twins are only 15 months so yes, they have no sweets apart from some dried fruit. I suppose this makes me a horrible uptight mother in your ever so clever opinion. I will live with that, quite happily in fact. [rolls eyes]

Sara85 · 13/03/2009 12:52

That is a bit ridiculous, but then I can just imagine the mums who would march straight to the headteacher to ask why their child was given sweets during school time!
I can see what you mean - funsize haribo have - what - five sweets in them? Most 8 year olds I know would eat them in one mouthful! Definitely PC gone mad!

Niecie · 13/03/2009 12:52

YABU - My DC love sweets and I let them have them occasionally too but not at school.

Their schools are Healthy Eating schools and to get that status I am pretty sure that they are required to ban sweets which they do. They also ban chocolate, nuts and fizzy drinks. All fine. There isn't much nutritional value to be had out of them anyway so it isn't a big deal. If my children have these things it is when I say it is OK. They don't ban cakes or biscuits or crisps but advise that that everything should be in moderation - also fine. They have accepted the healthy eating message should allow for the parents to be able to exercise common sense.

It has nothing to do with political correctness. If you had said it was another example of a nanny state I might have agreed (although I don't think it is a bad thing in this case) but PC gone mad it is not.

The other reason I can't get upset about it is that when I was a child it just wasn't something you did. Nobody took sweets to school - nobody even thought of it. I suppose I don't see why my children should start to do it now.

DandyLioness · 13/03/2009 12:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

OrmIrian · 13/03/2009 12:59

It's not PC.

And whilst I would be quite happy for my DC to eat a few haribo, I wouldn't be too happy if there were having them in school whenever there was a birthday.

nomoreamover · 13/03/2009 13:05

my DCs are not allowed to have jam, peanut butter, lemon curd or chocolate spread in their sandwiches and nor are they allowed any form of sweets or chocolate in their lunch box either

My poor child has to go in with cream cheese, cheese or ham......every sodding day.

Healthy eating gone mad...........we have low sugar jam anyway!!!!

I agree with school on the bday sweets thing because I would feel I had to keep up with the joneses and I never have the time/money/memory to send DCs in with sweets on bdays! But do agree that alot of schools healthy eating policy has gone mental!

PrimulaVeris · 13/03/2009 13:23

YANBU though I wouldn't use the 'PC gone mad' terminology

Reading this thread I have to say I am sighing with relief that my dcs primary has no issues with birthday sweets - which give a lot of pleasure to all. Not an issue with parents either afaik

kslatts · 13/03/2009 13:24

YANBU.

I really don't see the problem with a small bag of sweets being handed out to celebrate someone's birthday.

Where my dd's go to school they are allowed, and as there are about 24 children in each class, even if everyone bought in sweets (which they don't) it's hardly everyday.

My dd's usually eat healthy food, but I have no problem with them having the occasional bag of sweets.

Danceaway · 13/03/2009 13:33

Haven't read whole thread so sorry if repeating/butting in.
Think school should have announced policy change and introduced after summer hols - so your son wouldn't have been so disappointed. My dd's love birthday days - but if they gorge on sweets or choccy and don't eat their dinner so well, it does make me cross that it's 'the norm' for kids to get 'treats' like this.
I don't like the way crap packed sweets/choccy is made out to be something special; and we wonder why there is an obesity epidemic! I feel sorry for your son but think that schools trying to change the mentality of haribo etc being a 'treat' is a good thing for the health of the nation.
How boring am I!!!

stickylittlefingers · 13/03/2009 13:38

When BHS feel the need to have a uniform line for all the "extra-wide" children, I think anything that promotes healthy eating (and exercise of course) must be a good thing. I'm sure you're own children are sylph-like, but clearly lots of children aren't. So YABU

But I occasionally have a problem with dd1's school's tone (i.e. you're a bunch of morons who need telling what to do), so in that sense I don't think YA necessarily BU. But probably I am being unreasonable and overly sensitive too!

stickylittlefingers · 13/03/2009 13:41

your.

OMG it's catching!!

Grumpyoldcaaaaaaaa · 13/03/2009 13:51

'They also ban chocolate, nuts and fizzy drinks'

Yes because nuts are so very bad for you, with their fibre and protein and zinc and..........

Someone else posted about no peanut butter in lunchboxes.

I can only assume that this is due to the problem of peanut allergy? Or is it salted nuts?

Otherwise this would appear to be another of those hysterical 'nuts are fattening, nuts are bad' reactions that is a load of shite.

nomoreamover · 13/03/2009 13:52

it was me re the peanut butter...

their reasoning is that its for the protection of other children who may have a nut allergy.....

not sure why they'd be eating my children's lunch however.........