To think DS is far too young to be playing out in the street (sparked by the other thread)

[lilacclaire]

This issue has annoyed me since last summer, I also live in a cul de sac and all the other kids (same age, younger and a year or two older) are allowed to run up and down it.

Now DS who has just turned 4 in Jan screams to be allowed to do the same.

I flatly refuse him to be out of my sight, he isn't street wise like some of these kids and I know if he hurt himself, he would just lie there crying wondering where I was.

I'm sure the neighbours think im being pfb, but I really think he is far too young.

One of the neighbours allows her grandson to run to the very end of the cul de sac (she can't see this from her house) and look out onto a busy road, he is one year younger than my ds and I first noticed this last summer.

The cars also scoot up and down our cul de sac as it is quite long.

Last summer ds hadn't even started nursery, im dreading this summer, the other kids are welcome to play in the garden, but of course they get bored and run back into the street, cue lots of screaming from ds to be allowed out as well.

So am I being pfb, I don't think I am. Opinions please.

depends on your child, your street and your neighbourhood obviously. My ds is 5, has been playing out since he was 4 - terrified me at first but thought it was probably a good idea to give him a little bit of independence (actually I used to watch ds and the other kids carefully but without making it too obvious to them). Ds was VERY keen to go and knock on next-door-but-one and ask if they were playing out all on his own, didn't realise I was watching from our porch.

We live on a cul de sac, not many cars and those that do come along don't go too fast due to the layout. Lots of green space around the houses. And even if ds is out of sight, he can hear me if I call and knows that if he ever doesn't respond, he won't be allowed out again. There are lots of families we know so the other parents are keeping an eye out too and we'd all help each other's kids if necessary.

He can play out without crossing the road but I have started to allow him to cross over to one friend's house that I can see from mine. He's very proud and does this extremely carefully, like an advert for road safety. (I don't assume he'd be fine at crossing all roads perfectly, but he's aware he's being trusted on this one.)

btw, the reason I was keen to allow him to play out even if it scared me was that I was playing out from the age of three. Over a much greater distance - this was the 70s, in a village fewer cars, EVERYONE played out so safety in numbers. We went up to the fields, the river, in a huge gang - it was normal for kids to go off all day and only come home for food. We also knew any passing adult would either help us if needed or tell us off if we were naughty.

I know the world isn't like that now but wanted to give ds a tiny bit of freedom.

lazy parenting (them) You're right not to let him, wouldn't be worth it for the stress and it's ridiculous anyway letting kids that age out alone.

I don't let my 8 year old out alone.

Glad I'm not the only one JD.

I grew up on a cul de sac and played out in the street - not at the age of 4, but certainly by 7 or 8. I was the oldest of my siblings, so by the time I was 8 my younger sister aged 4 played out with us too. We went right down to the end of the street, far out of sight of my house too.

It was quite quiet, not many cars, and lots of children aged 3 to 12 out playing, in and out of each others houses and gardens, on bikes, football in the street etc. No one was abducted or run over either.

If I find myself living on a similar street I'd let my children play out too.

I live in a quite cul de sac and its a semi-rural area but still wouldnt dream of letting me 6 year old out alone. Cars still come up and down and it only takes a few seconds to run after a ball in front of a car etc.

He gets to go out and DH and I sit outide to keep an eye on him.

My dd2 plays out and we live in a cul-de-sac. Our front garden is fenced though and she knows that she is not allowed out of the gate and I leave the front door open and keep an eye on her. There are other chldren in the street who are allowed to run all over the street if they want to and they all ride their bikes around the street, dd2 has just learnt to ride her bike with no stabiliers but will not be allowed out in the street with her bike, we take her to the local park to ride her bike, less chance of her banging into a parked car and scratching it or being hit by a car coming into the street.

Ds6 and dd4 have been out playing in the cul de sac all afternoon. They were out there with 6 kids the oldest being 10, the rest around 6/7. They had a great time.

Last summer I sat out with them and we have been watching carefully when they ride there bikes (mostly checking that they don't crash into any parked cars)

This afternoon I turned my ironing board so that it faced the window and got through my entire ironing pile. Am hoping for lots more afternoons like this all summer long!

We live in a cul-de-sac and my dcs 7,5 and 3 have played out in the street under my supervision. There are lots of kids in our road but they don't play out.

I've recently been thinking about allowing my 7 yr old a bit more freedom and today thought she would like to stay roller skating out the front while I was inside doing dinner, she came in however, as she didn't feel confident enough to- we'll need to work at this gradually.

However, this afternoon we were at the park and I was talking to another mum I know,who's dd goes to a different school, about allowing dd1 to play unsupervised and she told me they'd had a letter sent home from school saying there had been an attempted abduction of a 3 year old from their front garden a few streets away.

I feel bad that my dc's don't have the freedom I had when I was a child and I don't want to wrap them up in cotton-wool but how do I let my dd out by herself after hearing that?

And as for kids playing out in the street being rough, that is just laughable

my kids play out all the time..eldest 12 next one 9 next one 5 youngest 4 [although the 4 year old is not really interested so half hour at most for him]
we live in a cul de sac too, there are loads of kids out and they have a great old time of it out there,hide and seek ,40 40, british bulldog drawing on pavements with chalk, building dens,
this is one of the reasons I wont move even though house is a tad too small,I would much rather they were out than in its so good for them imho

I was gobsmacked by some local boys who came knocking this afternoon, asking if DC would come out and play.

DC is only 5 and we only know these kids by the fact they are always playing, literaly in the road at the junction of our cul-de-sac and another road. I've never met them nor their parents (who are never anywhere to be seen), I barely know which house they live in. I have noticed we live on an estate where it seems acceptable to send small children out without supervision, but there is no way we are doing that. So there was no way we were going to let DC out with them.

YANBU

It isn't laughable blissa when you are srrounded by 'rough' kids and yours just happens to be a 'nice' child.

Incidentally, my Ds does play out when he visits my parents, but the kids he plays with there are a little better than those around here.

Those of you that live in cul de sacs are very lucky indeed to do so. Good for you, but not all of us are that fortunate.

It is when it's such a wide generalisation as Divineintervention made. Talk about tarring everyone with the same brush.

I'm sorry to hear what happens in your area, solowitch, and yeah if I was you I'd probably be more weary about them playing out, as I have said mine haven't played out alone yet.

It does depend on where you live and the individual child and yes 4 years old is far too young to be out unsupervised.

I didn't see Divineinterventions post blissa, I thought your comment was aimed at me/my post. Apologies.

I have decided that during the summer I shall let my 4 yr old dd play out on her own (with me watching from the window). We live in a quiet cul de sac and all the neighbours children are out playing from around 4.

She's pretty sensible and street wise, and has good road sense (for a 4 year old).