OMG! Shocking cartoon in today's Metro - serial rapists are fanicable apparantly

[Katiekitty]

Oh my god, I am unable to make any sense of this - in today's Metro, page 31, the This Life cartoon shows this:

Two women in a bar, one drinking wine, one says to the other: "I met him on the internet - he's not interested in football, games consoles, old cars or the history channel - who cares if he's a serial rapist?'

This is absolutely disgusting! Or am I missing the point here or something? It's on a page with horoscopes, puzzles and sudoku - a bit of lighthearted stuff, then a joke about serial rapists. Not funny. Or AIBU?

I've logged a complaint with the newspaper editor, I wonder if they'll have the gumption to explain how this slipped through and got into the newspaper?

Please feel free to tell me I'm experiencing a sense of humour bypass and showing unreasonableness, but I think I'm right here...

Muffle - but why choose the horrible crime of rape? Why not say he drowns kittens or go for another extreme crime that he's a peadophile then?

Nope, it's because rape is still a bit of a joke (not that all cartoons are 'funny ' I do understand this)for some people. 'She was asking for it'

LIke Dittany says: Victims get the blame and messages like this cartoon gives out all contribute to rape being a crime men get away with.

Starbear, she spends so much time complaining about him but thinks she needs to "handle" him differently, unfortunately their sons are now starting to learn from his behaviour too.

I hate it when we have to socialise I cant talk to him without having "WANKER, WANKER, WANKER" going through my head.

because it's about masulinity - what makes a real man - ie someone dateworthy. sex. with women. loads of 'em. not kittens. or children.
it's what she waaaaants, baby.

But one of the greatest places that pressure could come from is there partners, dittany.

If more women could somehow get hold of the attitude that the second a man shows signs of abusiveness, they walk away, we would not have all the abusive relationships that are going on right now, and children growing up in abusive households, and women making excuses for abusive men. Why do they accept it? It's a really important question. Addressing this question is not wrong, it does not excuse rapists and abusers, it does not put the blame on women, it's an important thing to address and sort out.

If you were walking down the street and someone came up to you and beat you up, and your response was to beg the police not to press charges, and then invite your abuser to live with you - you would be rightly suspected of being extremely daft. Yet it is what many women do all the time, because that attacker is their partner. It is important to look at why woman behave like this and point it up and show it to everyone, especially women, for what it is.

There was a really great programme on BBC3 recently about Domestic violence, at the end an awareness poster gets put up in central london.

It's two people's feet sticking out from under a sheet and says "two people a week escape from DV" (or similar) when I looked a bit closer I realised the feet were not in bed, but toe tagged in the morgue.

No, it's really not funny. But in a way it's kind of similar, the onus is not on the perpetrators of dv, it is on women to protect themselves by knowing the warning signs. Which is something it is very obvious the woman in the cartoon is utterly failing to do.

I don't know if putting that onus on woman makes it more possible for them to be seen as at fault if they fail to stop them - but I know it's incredibly important that woman know what they are and how to spot them. IMO the protection that knowledge gives women is more important than any perceived fault if you fail to do so.

It's not just victims that need to know the warning signs either, it's friends and family too.

I think we all agree totally that rape is totally wrong - we can go round in circles for hours here but I think I need to agree to disagree with Kitty/dittany regarding the rights and wrongs of this cartoon.

aagh their not there

WilyWombat It's sadly like a drug she can only get out and get help when she finally accepts that she can't change him. I suppose you've already pointed her to Women's Aid etc..
I know a little about this subject and it's hard to help someone who would take those difficult first steps

WilywombatI must take little one out now . I've got a list of things that could help her. If possible get back to me on this thread later

Starbear her child was seeing the councellor at school but she was just putting her head in the ground and hoping it would go away. At the end of the day the only person who can sort it out is her and I really dont think she will. We have talked about it, my attitude was she should go see the councellor without being asked, but obviously I dont want her hubby turning up on my doorstep with a baseball bat so its a difficult situation.

Unbelievable that so many WOMEN here think this is something to joke about and actually funny.

Would this be acceptable if joking about race or religion? Would they have dared publish a cartoon that did so?

I am going to complain about this horrible piece of crap.

How do you know it isn't a joke?

It could easily be perceived as a joke by anyone, which is why it is stupid and irresponsible.

I totally agree with Katie and Dittany.
And, yes, cartoons in newspapers are meant to be thought-provoking, but they are also meant to be funny.

with hedgewitch on this one

the joke is not about rape, its about internet dating

it isn't funny. it certainly isn't satirical ( that 'this life' could aspire to that). it is a patronising rape joke made by a third-rate cartoonist.

Penelopepitstops - so internet dating then... rape is an acceptable risk? Goes with the territory does it?

I still don't see rape as joking matter. Satire or not. And I'm amazed how many of you do. Surprising.

Argh Katie - will you please address or respond to this point:

The woman in the cartoon is suggesting it is OK that he is a rapist because he ticks her other boxes.

The cartoon itself is NOT saying that - it is saying she is being ridiculous. It is saying the OPPOSITE. It is agreeing with us all that rape is NOT an aceptable risk.

Do you see the difference - have you taken in this point at all? You just seem to be going over the same outraged complaint again and again without engaging with the points being made here.

"vice or folly"....exactly they are not trvialising it.

no the joke is warning of the dangers of internet dating and how SOME women will accept people like that.

like hedgewitch said, look in relationships

"trivialising" even