OMG! Shocking cartoon in today's Metro - serial rapists are fanicable apparantly

[Katiekitty]

Oh my god, I am unable to make any sense of this - in today's Metro, page 31, the This Life cartoon shows this:

Two women in a bar, one drinking wine, one says to the other: "I met him on the internet - he's not interested in football, games consoles, old cars or the history channel - who cares if he's a serial rapist?'

This is absolutely disgusting! Or am I missing the point here or something? It's on a page with horoscopes, puzzles and sudoku - a bit of lighthearted stuff, then a joke about serial rapists. Not funny. Or AIBU?

I've logged a complaint with the newspaper editor, I wonder if they'll have the gumption to explain how this slipped through and got into the newspaper?

Please feel free to tell me I'm experiencing a sense of humour bypass and showing unreasonableness, but I think I'm right here...

But surely the obvious person to laugh at - in this cartoon - is the woman who is so desperate for a date she'd consider a rapist? I honestly can't think or see any subtext where it says oh actually - that guys alright, all he's done is rape (multiple) women.

I suppose it is a bit harsh on women who do go out with men who have been accused of rape before and know about it.

Can I actually see this cartoon BTW? It's a bit hard to have a unbiased opinion without seeing it.

What I am imagining is the other woman having a fairly WTF? expression on her face, if that helps.

But it's a cartoon - it's making some kind of satirical or jokey point. If they wanted to say in a straightforward manner "if you find a nice interesting man, you should tolerate it if he's a rapist" they could just write that in a column (which of course they never would - there are some misogynist messages out there but I don't think metro or even the DM would go that far).

I really don't think that's what this is saying. It's saying don't forget that a nice interesting man you meet online could be a serial rapist. It's saying don't get hung up on his hobbies and whether he has nice shoes etc and miss the bigger picture. I think that's actually extraordinarily relevant to a lot of male/female interactions and relationships that actually exist. How many women take back a violent man because they "love" him, or happily accept a man they know has been violent to someone else? It happens all the time.

if you replace serial rapist with armed robber or murderer, does the joke make sense?
How about a tax fiddler or "Peter Mandleson"

Spot on Dittany, thank you. You said that really well about being called a 'prude' and not being able to laugh at atrocities.

Women are so fussy these days! Don't want to date a rapist - well, you'll never find a man then!

Date a rapist! Yeah - all women are asking for it!

No doesn't always mean no you know!

Nope - I still can't find it funny.

agree with muffle, sorry!

is it derogatory to women?

is it not saying 'i don't give a monkeys what he is as long as he doesn't bore me to tears like the rest of them? (and i'm intelligent enough to realise the available options and strong enough to deal with them)'

isn't it gentle fun-poking at the geeky male console owning metro readers - feminising them in some way that the only 'real' man available is a serial killer? rofl

i think it's fairly amusing in it's own way. i'm not sure i can stretch to finding it derogatory at all, actually quite the opposite. and i've got shelves full of blooming betty friedan etc.

I generally agree with those who say that the point is that being a serial rapist is such a negative (understatement of the century) and that anyone meeting a partner, perhaps especially online, should be aware of only focussing on the characteristics that they are looking for and view as positive attributes and not considering the potential negatives.

Now I actually think that the cartoon is making a valid point in a very crass way and probably shouldn't have been published but it doesn't offend me. If it offends someone who has been raped then the newspaper should take it seriously and apologise.

Dittany - A group of friends and I used to joke about rape a lot. I know it sounds horrible, because obviously it's pretty much up there in the list of most horrific things that could ever happen to a person, but we were all very firmly of the belief that nobody could ever 'deserve it' and joking lightened the mood when we had to study it. In all fairness this probably very heavily skews our perspective.

I do forget that there are people out there who genuinely believe woman can deserve rape, and in that light, yes I can see how others might find it offensive, even if I don't.

Hence, OP if you are offended no YANBU to complain. However, I think you might need to reavaluate where you are coming from with you complaint given that I would state with fair certainty that the cartoon was not intended in the way you have interpreted it. (Which doesn't mean it shouldn't necessarily have been spotted by editors and rethought to make it's actual point more clearly.)

And yes I think it is laughing at women - laughing at women who prioritise having a relationship, having a man, over all common sense.

There is the point that if women act that way, it's not just because they're idiots, it's a lot to do with the messages society and the media bombard them with. But still, I think this cartoon is saying "don't be like this daft woman in this cartoon - laugh at her". It's not saying her view is the right view! How would that work as a cartoon?

it's a joke about internet relationships, not rapists

Although I've been arguing with the "it's a [not particularly amusing] joke" side, I really do hate being told to "lighten up, it's a joke" etc. So in this case I'm willing to accept that although I didn't interpret it like that, the fact that some people have is bad enough.
dittany made a good point about public perception of rape (especially date rape) and anything that plays to that, even if it only does when misinterpreted, is not a good thing.

Sorry dittany, x post.
Will have a think about your jewish/nazi analogy.

Muffle - You say: 'How many women take back a violent man because they "love" him, or happily accept a man they know has been violent to someone else? It happens all the time.'

And is this something that you find acceptable or ironic or funny?

Is is acceptable to see this in a newspaper's 'take a break' section?

Do you think it's acceptable to have specifically 'a serial rapist' trotted out as if it's a saving grace he's not a console-player or into old cars? None of these activities can kill/maim/affect a partner for ever - it's such a violent crime that they chose to specify that makes me angry. I wish I could see the funny side like you.

Now re the joke point, I should be clear. I am not saying "it's a joke, therefore it's funny and can't be offensive" - not at all. There is definitely such a thing as an offensive joke, and if I thought this was misogynist I'd be as angry as anyone.

What I'm saying is that since it is a joke, a cartoon, you might need to look further than face value to see what the joke is saying. The fact that a woman in the cartoon says she doesn't mind a rapist, doesn't mean that that's what the cartoonist is saying. The cartoonist may well be saying the opposite - isn't this woman daft - and using an extreme, satirical example (rape) to make a point about the stuff women will put up with as long as they don't have to endure the footy etc.

Also I don't think anyone who doesn't understand this needs to "lighten up" - I think they need to look deeper.

Agh no Katie, I don't see rape and violence as acceptable, not at all! But I think this cartoon is also saying "they are not acceptable - don't think they are".

I think you have to be very careful with the line you're taking - that because something is bad, it therefore can't ever be laughed at or raised in a humorous context. In fact, I think cartoons and satire are one of the most powerful weapons against negative forces in society. If we ban any cartoon, any comedian etc. from ever talking about rape, male violence, or women's acceptance of male violence, because they are not funny, I think that would be terrible. Things like this can use satire and humour to make us see things clearly.

dittany - no we were all girls. There was a rape very near to where we lived at the time, and that was something we never ever joked about, similarly we would not have if anybody had had anything personal to say on the matter. I make no excuses, though. It's just that different people handle things in different ways. I don't find this cartoon offensive. If I had been raped by a man I'd met online (which certainly happens) I plausibly would.

Which is why, although I'm not going to complain about the cartoon if anybody else wanted to I don't think they're wrong to do so. The cartoon could have been better put.

I agree, it's very dark humour aimed at the stupidity of people who use Internet date sites isn't it?

Luckily - most if not all of the MN menbers are rational, deep-thinking and hugely intelligent people. But just say if some people can't see this cartoon on a deeper level. What message does it give out - to women and to men?

Muffle - I'm still not convinced that women would 'satirically' say that they'd rather be with a 'serial rapist' than a footy fan. That they'd rather be brutalised and maybe killed than put up with their bloke sat in his kit watching the footy.

No - I still can't find this funny, or meaningful, or satirical.