to be pissed off that PIL and SIL have sent DS1 money for his birthday rather than a gift?

[MamaG]

He'll be 5 on Saturday. HE hates shopping, but will doubtless enjoy choosing some toys or something.

I think they should have made a bit of bloody effort and gone out and bought him something TBH.

We do live far from them, so it had to be posted, but I always post presents for nieces and nephews.

Grr

YABU.

YABU and you know it!

Don't look a gift horse etc etc.

Perhaps they thought there might be some nice activity you might like to fund for him. An event, an experience, membership of a club whatever. Life is not all about plastic toys.

YABU. However I too get annoyed at the family just throwing money at my children with no thought, but I conclude that at least it can be spent on something worthwhile, instead of plastic, age-inappropriate tat.

Ah you bitches

YABU and ungrateful.

I think YABU and ungrateful, tbh - what's wrong with that? He will be able to choose what he wants.

ok ok, I'm a shrew

I know they live far away, but still, they could have found something maybe on amazon and had it posted directly? so yanbu as far as I'm concerned.

YABU - as my DS's are inundated with toys, books and clothes when family ask what they want for Christmas/Birthday I quite often say money or vouchers - then we save them for something "special" that they otherwise wouldn't have got.

I love it when people give DD money instead of toys. We are already sinking under the weight of toys and the money can either be given to Sir Fred Goodwin go into her bank or be put towards something big for the garden in the summer. So yes, YABU

It all depends on how much money they sent . Perhaps they just had a mental block, didn't know what he already has (lets face it most five year olds have loads) and didn't know what you would approve of etc. Its a bit of a minefield.

You can make a big thing of it, just shop for his present nothing else and then take him to the cafe for an icecream afterwards.

Money is a great gift. It's not thoughtless. It means they think you know him best and what he likes or they think he could do with a boost to his savings.

I put all gifts of money into their savings account. They get stacks of toys anyway and money will be greatly appreciated when they're older and need their university fees paying or help with a deposit on a house.

YANBU. My MIL sends all grandkids £25 each for birthdays and christmas. This is fine for the older ones, but WTF does my 3yo DD want money for? My MIL says it's because she doesn't know what to get them. I would rather she spent £5 on a piece of tat she chose. My DD1 is 8 and she appreciates the money, but not at 5yo. To me it is as if she just can't be bothered or doesn't know her grandkids well enough to know what they may like.
One year she knitted them ponchos and they were so thrilled that Nanny had made it for them.

YABU - spend it on wine and cake and your DS can have a happy mummy for his birthday.

YABVVVVVVVVU.
Put it in his bank account.
Or get given some plastic tat shit that neither you, or your ds wants.
You are MAD. Come on MamaG this is silly.

We have big family. We alternate between Xmas and Birthday. Present for one . money for other. to me that makes sense.

yes it must be dreadful that they sent money allowing you to chose.selfish gits

they should have chosen a duplicate toy,or unwanted gift to lie in the cupboard.because that is so much better

going against the crowd, YANBU.

I don;t mind it really as mine are drowning under toys, and they all love getting money, but I can get the irritation when you make effort for them and you feel as tho you and yours don;t warrent the same attention.

but he will ba happy with something HE wants, and you have control, so think on the positives here.

YABU

least they didnt forget unlike my bf childs birthdays and her inlaws!!!

i use amaazon a lot - it is fab - but unless you know what you are loking for in a book or dvd and if you have it, its a real pita to send back via amazon (as a gift)

posting a lovely pressie can sometime cost more then what the pressie costs

so

money is fab - though hope they sent a cheque or po as money isnt safe to be sent via post

I'd be happy with the money for DCs. Agree re plastic tat and the fact that there is too much of it.

Now what annoyed me recently was my Dad offering some money for my birthday. I had suggested something that was appropriate, but he wasn't confident about buying it...so he said he'd send money instead. Well - generous though that is, I don't have time to brush my hair / do my tesco order...so if he did that the money would very soon be spent on boring stuff and not a pressie.

But if I posted that no doubt I'd be flamed and told I was VVVU!

well in an ideal world it would be nice to think the inlaws put a bit of thought and effort into getting a suitable present - its not that hard really is it? But as an alternative, the money would be better than what happens in my case, they ring up ask for what would dd like, i say, they say can you get it and we will give you the money. i then have to drive it over there so they wrap it and give it back sometime whenever, they then make a huge fuss saying to dd ohhhh look what we got you....do you like it....say thank you, etc etc

meanwhile i am supposed to be grateful for the zero effort.

my family always buy presents and never have to ask what she would like, they just put a little thought and imagination into it.

so i can understand your frustration.

Why don't you just pocket the dough for yourself put it in your DS's savings account?

YABU...agree with Mrs Mattie..pocket it!!!