to be pissed off that PIL and SIL have sent DS1 money for his birthday rather than a gift?

[MamaG]

He'll be 5 on Saturday. HE hates shopping, but will doubtless enjoy choosing some toys or something.

I think they should have made a bit of bloody effort and gone out and bought him something TBH.

We do live far from them, so it had to be posted, but I always post presents for nieces and nephews.

Grr

OMG you are being so U. I much prefer cash gifts, at least you can get what you want or save it rather than being given a bunch of crappy old distasteful tat you wouldn't want your dog to play with never mind you kids.

YABU ... most 5yo have far too many toys anyway. I always preferred cash from family (to put in savings) unless there was something they desperately special wanted to buy.

God, I ask for money, vouchers and book tokens from DS's grandparents. He loves saving up for something particular and really enjoys shopping for himself with his own money and I really love not getting yet more plastic tat! At least when he can choose it himself, I know it will be something he's really keen on

I get it.

I GET IT.

I DO!

IAMBVU, I am an ungrateful bitch from hell, I should be glad they don't send him ear wax and toenail clippings 4 weeks late

(can I just say, I didn't want them to send him plastic tat?)

A good thing would have been for htem to buy a book/small toy (Cars Car for example) for about a fiver and send him some cash in a card as well.

So IAMNBU

well of course you dont think YABU,no one who starts one ever does.but we do,so there

of course YANBU and to prove it I shall take the money off you myself

just send it my way and therefore no offensive shopping to be dealt with and DS won't have to cope with the money

helpful no?!?

la la la la la LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

be grateful for money I say!.... my Dad forgets my DS's birthday, mine, my sisters etc...! I got a bottle of wine for xmas from him and I am pregnant! At least your DS can choose something he wants with cash.

I can see where you're comign from
I live 3 hours drive from all my family
for each birthday I make the effort, buy a present and send it (I have 6 nieces and nephews)
Not one of my siblings sends anything ever, often the dcs get their presents a couple of months later so I don't see the point

With my nieces and nephews I do money for birthdays and presents for Christmas. Guess which one they are most grateful for!

yes when they are old enough they will be getting money!

I'm sick of buying tat for my nieces and nephews, they have sooo many toys they don't even get round to playing with everything. I prefer to put money in an account and buy them a little something to open on the day. Much happier if they have the money towards uni/car//wedding/cider and fags when they are older!

I LOVE it when people give DS money / vouchers instead of birthday presents. His birthday is two weeks before Christmas so I can save his money and buy something in the summer when he hasn't been inundated with presents and he can appreciate it.

However, I will say that people normally ask if this is okay first, and if there is anything that he wants particularly.

I think a token present and a cheque would be a good compromise.

YABU -I expect that SIL and BIL know that your DC would rather have the money.

I would rather be sent money - not by everyone, but certainly by some. Then you can pick something he wants/you want him to have rather than getting something random.

As they get older all they want is money.

YANBU (or if you are then it's only a tiny, weeny bit).

DC's get a cheque from their gp's every year - now how much effort goes into that??

I agree, a little something along with cash is the way to go.

And yes, he will only want cash when he's older but until then put a bit of effort in!

I'm with you MamaG,at the risk of getting slated!

I think before the age of about 8, money is a "lazy" gift,shows the person cannot be bothered to spend time buying a gift for a small child that will delight them.

Its lovely to watch a childs excitement when they have a present to unwrap.

My In-laws do this,or go and buy something "big" without checking first,that they haven't already got it.

I'm sure someone will say,well you can't have it both ways,but my family always seem to manage to buy something that my DC's want or need with little difficulty.

well my bil and sil are double lazy as they swnd my sons cheques for their birthdays (they dont even have bank accounts)instead of going to the cash machine to get the money out
we live 5mins drive from them

to be honest i think its ok to give money normally children receive gifts and there's threads on how thoughtless the gift was or taking it back etc

as children get older its harder to get things that children haven t already got and sometimes get so many toys could you put the money into an account to save as he gets older that's what my ds gp do and i think this is ok there's no less thought in it just not knowing what to get

Thats the key thing IMO when the DC's get older.

You can't tell me that most 4-7 yr olds,would be disappointed with money.At least IME all the DC's I've known would be,and those that aren't have learnt about money a little too early.

Plenty of time for all that "greed" and understanding how much things cost etc.

Very unreasonable and extremely ungrateful IMO

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