to be pissed off that PIL and SIL have sent DS1 money for his birthday rather than a gift?

[MamaG]

He'll be 5 on Saturday. HE hates shopping, but will doubtless enjoy choosing some toys or something.

I think they should have made a bit of bloody effort and gone out and bought him something TBH.

We do live far from them, so it had to be posted, but I always post presents for nieces and nephews.

Grr

YABU I think money is an excellent idea, especially when I was presented with a ballet lessons bill the week after dd's birthday. This year it has gone into her bank to fund the dance show costumes she will need. The year before she bought character shoes with it.

YAB slightly U!

I would have sent a small present (even a packet of sweeties, stickers or coourig book) and then some money!

I hate all the tat that kids get, but it is part of growing up. It is a case of how long you have to keep it before throwing it out, or taking it to the school fair for some other sucker to buy

I would rather someone ask me what to get the kids when they are little, and DD now she is older got money, which is still in her purse two weeks later!

my in laws don't get my sons anything for their birthday's and then when we see them promise to take them shopping and don't.

be grateful.

Did the in-laws ask your ds (or you) what he wanted for his birthday?

If he wants a present instead of money next year, get him to tell them what he wants.

Personally I have no objection to children receiving money rather than a present - my 2 sons are teenagers now and have built up nice little nest-eggs from birthday and Christmas money over the years.

YAB totally U.

I'm a loving auntie who always buys actual gifts for the little ones but my god, it is hard. The hardest part is getting them something they don't already have, and it can't be clothes if you want their eyes to light up as little kids don't want clothes.

Then, they open it in a cake and sweetie induced blur and throw it to one side and play with the paper instead. Par for the course. And the parents manage a quick 'thank you' before birthday boy/ grabs the next gift.

Your kids aren't entitled to anything. Anything anybody gives them is a gift. God I hate this relentless round of 'they must buy my kids a gift that cost as much as they buy for other people's, and it must fulfill X criteria or else I'll roll my eyes about how little they understand kids' etc etc.

If it's so important that your kids get mountains of unique, guaranteed delight inducing gifts then feel free to BUY THEM YOURSELF!!!!!

Ok, by now I know that I am perhaps BU myself but honestly.

... and I don't believe that you really would be 'just as happy if they spent a fiver as long as they bought something' if they send more money to the other kids in the family. Entire pages of MNers have agreed in the past that this is definitely unreasonable, and indeed a sign of a toxic in-law.

Rule one: spend the same on them all or face eye rolling and whispering forever. In my family and on here.

yabu - I'd love it if MIL gave DS money instead of some oversized piece of plastic tat to find space for.

If you can't spare the time to shop for anything put it in his bank account

Oh I am so relieved to read this thread having just returned from the post office after posting my 2yr old nephew a small (but very lovely) book and a cheque for his birthday. SIL will class me the lowest of the low for doing so but I'm now reassured that its not the worst crime of the century.

I'd rather my children received money which they could put together towards something they really wanted rather than lots of smaller pieces of plastic which they have no real interest in.

I'm sorry to say YABU.

lemon a book and a cheque is perfect!

Ohhh I don't know. On the one hand I can understand why you're a bit peeved but on the other hand I agree with others (at least he got something..)

Would you like to come and sit on this nice fence with me while you poke your tongue out go lalalalala??

Oh how I wish MIL and sFIL would send dd money. They will send her a cuddly toy (she's 9) or something completely inappropriate like that.

They even ask what she'd like but will always get her something else. What's the bloody point?

Thank you Mondaymonday, I shall smile sweetly and think YABU when she gets on her high horse about it

YABU. They probably thought "much better for them to choose something he really wants than cluttering up the house with tat".

YABU.

Or have you worked that out yet?

My niece often just likes the act of opening a "present". The item is often discarded without a second thought. I always send money.

I think money is an excellent choice. Whenever DS gets a gift of money it goes straight into his savings account. Lots of plastice tat OR the money to train/go to uni when he is old enough. That's a priceless gift.

YABU. They live far away from you and probably don't know what he has all ready got. It's a great gift and your DS can now choose something he actually wasnts.

YAB a bit U but I get what you are feeling. PIL gave DD a WH Smiths voucher for Christmas and another for her birthday. We have a rubbish little branch of Smiths in our town and there are only so many felt tips a girl can use.
I tried not to feel ungrateful on DD's behalf, but there is something so incredibly unfestive about a Smiths voucher.