Friend asked to have wedding marquee in my garden

[LGoodLife]

this summer - what do I say? Its a big garden but not posh - untidy grass and climbing frame.

If you have no issue with having so many people you don't know in your garden, I'd say yes but explain it's not in the 'best wedding condition' but they're welcome to come and work on it before the big day. Thus you get happy friends and a tidier garden for no effort!!

Er- how much do you like the friend? And how much do you like the garden? And, I suppose, tidying up? Cos it's not just the garden really, is it? I'd say it's quite a big commitment and needs a lot of thought.

But then I'm an unsociable so and so.

How do you feel about it? Will you be under pressure to tidy the garden up first? What if someone gets hurt/injured; do you have to have insurance? So many questions. I dont envy you having to make this decision.

Think about the loos!

Think about the catering

Think about the clearing up

Think about the preparation.

Are they offering to pay for someone to come and cut your grass, tidy up the borders etc. before the wedding?

Are they offering to pay for portaloos to be installed?

Will they need to use your house for the catering?

Have they thought about a water supply?

Will they organise for all the mess to be cleared up?

How many people are they inviting?

How will your neighbours feel about the noise?

Will there be a band?

Will they be organising a generator?

Are people likely to get drunk and fall over in your flowerbeds (or worse!!!)

I think before you consider it, you need to know the answer to some of these questions.

That is not on. You will be taking on a big burden and you wil have to clean up the mess because no one wil be interested after the big day.

What about the noise?

They are being cheap skates - tell them to sling their hook and rent somewhere like everybody else.

I'm ultra sociable and wouldn't do that - weddings always get moe stressful than people think.

What about car parking for guests - what would neighbours think of that too??

oh dear....100 people.
She would do band, food, get portaloos.
I cut grass myself with tractor mower usually (if bleedin thing will start) don't have borders as such.
Have no neighbours - fields.
Why do I need a generator?
Insurance? Eh?

She is basically asking you to host her wedding. Outrageous.

I don't think it's unreasonable not to, but personally I would. So you have to do a little extra cleaning up, I'm sure their families could be roped into a clearing up party the next day.

It might be some extra work, but your friendship might be worth it. Slightly on edge pointed out some other benefits too.

I'd probably do it even for someone I didn't know that well, they might become a better friend afterward.

We certainly couldn't afford to hire anywhere when we got engaged (I could only afford to spend £30 on a dress!) but loads of people pitched in and made my day really special. I did the same for my sister and we both have really great memories of a special time.

But don't get me wrong, you are totally within your rights to say no, I just think you should think about it some more.

No the wedding would be registry office before.
We have had a couple of big parties here, so are used to the noise/ clear-up thing - this bunch help with that.
Dittany - of course I'm flattered - wouldn't you be?

If you really like her and she is a very close friend and you are sure you won't fall out with her, i would say yes.

They might be trying to do the wedding on a budget and thought that you might not mind if you have the space but there is a lot to think about and organise. Not to mention friendship if anything were to (god forbid) go wrong or not as planned!

Blimey thats a big ask!

Its not just having a big tent in your garden is it? You will be hosting her wedding party. Is she like a bestest friend or someone you know fairly well?

Do you know why she has asked you? As you say your garden is nothing that special.

I would do it for:
My sister
My kids
Some of my neices and nephews
My mother (odd thought but nothing is impossible)

Not sure I would do it for anyone else though and I am quite a nice person.

PPs have already mentioned, toilets, parking etc. Your house is bound to be used for access at least if not fridge space, water, electric etc.

Unless you are very close its quite an odd request IMO.

Maybe this is more common than I thought.

Someone who lives near my Mum & Dad turned up on their doorstep one morning in tears.

She was the bride to be at a wedding in the vilage that day!

She said to my Mum "Do you know anything about flowers because I have got 50 bunches of flowers in my parents house and I do not know how to arrange them in the church and have no foliage and I am getting married in 3 hours?"

Well my Mum could hardly refuse so she basically cut branches of the bushes and trees in her garden and then went down the church and put an amzing display together in 2 hours.

She got nothing, no thanks, not even a bottle of wine. Saved the girl's day and probably £250.

Chegirl she asked because basically we live in a field, so enuff space for big tent.
I don't think I would be the host- not my wedding!!!!

But a party is different from someones WEDDING!!!! Argh, thats supposed to be a Special Day and all that stuff. I'm worried it would all go wrong.
Maybe I should go on holiday and leave them to it.

You could go on holiday, but you might miss an awesome party...

Also, you definitely will be exempt from getting them a wedding gift

As long as the ground rules are clearly laid out and agreed (who provides - electricity, water, loos, clear-up services, repairs to anything you care about which gets trashed, etc) then why not?

..and then lock your house. I know people who used to rent out their house/garden (OK, it's a castle ) for weddings but in the end decided the money wasn't worth dealing with people throwing up outside their DC's bedrooms.

That's mean!

What's mean? Locking the house? not at all - you may know her but that doesn't mean you know or trust all the guests.