Friend asked to have wedding marquee in my garden

[LGoodLife]

this summer - what do I say? Its a big garden but not posh - untidy grass and climbing frame.

I meant to Gracie about no gift being mean.
Stealth, this is an ugly bungalow NOT a castle. Do people always throw up at weddings?

No one did at any of the weddings I've been to recently (unless it was back in their hotel rooms!)

I didn't mean you can't get them a gift! Do if you want. It's just that I don't think it would be expected. Lots of people helped us with our wedding instead of getting us a gift. It saved us thousands and was well worth it. We didn't want more toasters anyway

According to this woman, yes, someone always does (someone did at ours - my DB who was 14 at the time )

So basically its a generous thing to do if you don't mind car parking, generators, insurance, guests throwing up....

Still very undecided. Better tell dh, knows nowt about it yet!

I've just asked my neighbour if I can borrow her garden in the summer! We usually socialize together and take a fence panel out so the kids can play in the fun garden! (We have a teenaged girl, no fun garden!)

We're having a big party, with potentially 25 kids. I've promised to cut her grass and tidy up afterwards, if the kids can use their garden for fun again!

I think you need to invite them to come and tell you how they see this working - and if they are looking to you to provide much more than a field and a hosepipe, think twice.

Well if you want to do it you should. If you feel ok about it then why not?

I wouldnt but then I dont have a field and I get anxious about having people round for tea let alone a wedding

As long as all is clear and well organised.

Stealth, agree this needs musing over.

will they be able to access the marquee without going through your house? Will the parking be away from your house?

If it really is a field, and it can be separate from your house and facilities (I agree with the "lock the house" concept!), and there are portaloos and you have people who will help clear up, then I think it's a lovely thing to do.

But I would put together a list of requirements - as in what you expect them to do and what you are not prepared to accept! Then there can be no misunderstanding.

Thumbwitch, yes the grass comes before the house, and there is some parking 30m away.

If you feel good about it do it but I would write up a contract whereby the couple accept responsibility for:

-set up
-clean up
-own electricity / water etc
-insurance - that would be the main thing - I'd wanna see a copy of the policy too before the event
-provision of portoloos

and I'd say no if they wanted the house to be open for anyting - catering, toilets, kids naps, anything - no no no, not worth it! I would only agree to use of the garden alone.

TBH if it is a finance thing, they'll prob find that its actually more expensive to get catering etc in for a wedding than to go with a venue. We found a next to nothing self catering venue for ours but once we looked into catering companies etc we found that it was a false economy - got a great package in a hotel that does weddings instead in the end

I would do it for family or one of my good, close friends, wouldn't think twice about it actually.
Of course i would want portaloos and no one going into my house. But apart from that i would be fine about it.
My friend let her neighbour (a quite good friend) use her garden a year or so ago for the neighbours 16 year old sons party. They had a big tent and portaloos and the house owners were invited. They did lock their door!
It all went extremely well and they are still friends!!!

I think this would be a lovely thing to do for a friend. I'd do it.

Go for it once you have agreed (in writing, preferably) about stuff like portaloos, clearup, car parking etc. ANd bear in mind that if it goes well and isn't too much hassle, you could think about doing it as a source of extra income now and again.

and don't you need a load of licences to be allowed to have more than 2 people together and music playing? what about alcohol licences as well, if they plan to sell alcohol?
as the landowner, even if you're not on the property you can still be liable, you can also still be liable if someone falls over & twists their ankle, you need insurance both for your own property & against you being sued.

I would have said 'Yeah, no problem, that'll be fun!!' LONG before my brain had a chance to get in there with any of the practicalities then worked out the technicalities later.

I don't know why some people think it's rude or that you are hosting the wedding - you are letting them use a bit of grass - the REST is up to them.

I agree with locking the house and I'd probably go for having someone (parent, friend, babysitter) come over for the evening, just to deter anyone else thinking it would be a good night, with all the noise, to break in (not a wedding guest!).

Since when did you need insurance to have a party in your garden (in the UK)???

Chipping In - remember the case last year of the mum who was sued after a child fell off (it was either a trampoline or bouncy castle) in her garden (her childs birthday party).

Pudding - the one on the bouncy castle with a bigger boy?? Was she successfully sued? Bloody hell, are we being taken over by the US?

it won't count as a private party though if it's someone else's wedding, so all existing insurance etc won't be valid (and could be invalidated for the entire year, if you don't inform your insurance, who will prob very happily take some extra money off you).
so, worst case scenario (highly unlikely), you allow your friend to do this, 2 months later your boiler bursts & there's damage to the house, ins co find you've used the house as a public ent venue, they refuse to pay up.
it just immediately makes it a 'business' not your friends round for a party, so you would need to be as well insured and licenced etc as if you were a prof co hosting it. it's years since i've done anything like this, but i have done short-term public venues, and you need to be checked by police, fire services etc etc, though it is possible to do, and there are temp licences available.
or you could just 'wingit' and hope nothing goes wrong, it's unlikely that there will be a worst case scenario, but it depends how much you balance the risk against wanting to help a friend.

still, it's nice she's enjoyed your parties so much that she wants her wedding to be one of them.

kickassangel - but surely if it's a friends wedding (no charge) and invited guests only - no public entry (no entrance fee) they can't call it a public ent venue. Different if you were hiring it out surely? Otherwise where do you draw the line, it's OK to have your sons birthday party there but not his girlfriends?... and they are in the garden, they aren't even going into the house?

Bloody hell, insurance would have been the last thing on my mind...

Generator would be to power the disco/band/caterers/lights/bouncy castle etc.

Message withdrawn

I would do this for a good friend no problem . We had a marquee in my fil garden for our wedding and it was great . We did have more of a big party than an organised wedding type day .So no band or fancy stuff. Everyone used the loo in the house , nothing trashed . We also had a bouncy castle which was the best £60 I ever spent

Insurance never entered my mind , or elec ( think we just opened large windows and had a stereo playing). State of garden was tidy ish but tbh the marquee covered a lot of it .

I say go for it and have a great time .

I think it would only be a grim idea if she is a bridezilla type.

Do it, there have been some important points raised here re the insurance, electricity etc etc - but thats not your problem, its the brides - you need to sit down with her and go through it all - but im sure she would do that anyway on account of wanting her big day to go right. Just imagine how much money you would be saving your friend - my word - she would owe you BIG TIME!!!! Actually, has she offered you any money for this? Im not sure if you want/need but the offer would be nice considering she would be saving quite a wedge.