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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think perhaps this wasn't the most appropriate way to bf baby in a public place?

464 replies

lollipopz · 27/02/2009 14:29

OK I am usually all for breast feeding have breast fed all 3 of my dcs and if they were hungry in restraunt on train etc I would cover and feed them, however this shocked me.
Was in supermarket last night with 2 dds aged 5 and 7. Dds had nipped off to pick up some juice when dd1 rushed up to me with a bright red face and ushered my to the next aisle. There was a woman standing with her shirt unbuttoned feeding a baby who was sat upright in a trolley so every one that walked by could see exactly what she was doing and also had a clear view of her other boob that was hanging out her bra . Not only that the baby must have been about 7 or 8 months and was straining to reach as she sort of crouched to it's level.
Surely this is not the best way and she could have left her trolley and went into the baby room she didn't have that much stuff in there any way.

OP posts:
FourArms · 27/02/2009 18:55

I've bf (I think ) walking round a supermarket, but it would have been with a small-ish baby (nothing wrong with a larger baby but my arms aren't that strong!) in a cradle hold. A passerby would have thought that we were having a cuddle.

Although I'm not sure if there's anything wrong with what the lady in the OP was doing - I always liken it to ff - you'd feed a ff baby a bottle in a trolley - I wouldn't personally have done this.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 27/02/2009 18:58

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theyoungvisiter · 27/02/2009 18:58

By daftpunk on Fri 27-Feb-09 18:38:21
i'm all for womens rights aitch, but you have to have some respect for the people around you..not everyone likes seeing a women b/f.

Oh fgs.

Not everyone likes seeing arse antlers on display.

Not everyone likes seeing builders bums.

Not everyone likes people kissing in public.

Not everyone likes seeing the Daily Mail on sale in front of impressionable minors.

So what? There's a lot more reason to feed a child than there is for some of the things I listed above.

piscesmoon · 27/02/2009 18:59

'You wouldn't have known though. DH came round the corner and thought she was just cuddling/resting against me. Does that make it acceptable?'

Yes of course it makes it acceptable. I never had anyone complain-militant women do more harm than good.
Of course 7yr olds are going to giggle about it-they are that age!

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 27/02/2009 18:59

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AitchTwoOh · 27/02/2009 19:00

actually, no, i don't feel i have to behave considerately to someone who doesn't like seeing bfing. i was the world's worst bfer, dds1 and 2 both were useless at latching on quickly, dreadful for bobbing on and off and had to switch sides. if i'd had to be considerate to some wee teen who might have got a brickie or some old bastard who didn't like seeing bfing taking place, i'd never have been able to leave the house.

anyway, let's be honest... that woman made those young boys' LIVES in that juice/crisps aisle. they'll be talking about it for weeks (and no doubt knocking off a wee hand shandy or two in her honour).

theyoungvisiter · 27/02/2009 19:01

The OP hasn't actually clarified what the other boob was doing and whether it was covered or not - I did ask further down the thread as I am slightly disbelieving that anyone would intentionally remove their "unused" boob just for kicks.

Surely it was either a) covered or b) a mistake?

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 27/02/2009 19:02

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PuddingChops · 27/02/2009 19:03

Reality - but how could she finish the shopping anyhow? - the baby was sat upright IN the trolley!

piscesmoon · 27/02/2009 19:03

At 7 or 8 months she had the option of giving a slice of apple or something-it is hardly the same as a newborn.

StealthPolarBear · 27/02/2009 19:04

Reality, she's explained that she mentioned that to set the scene that the baby was sitting up in a 'normal' seat, not in one of the lying back ones.
Either way, sounds like she left the shop with a bit of a hunchback!

daftpunk · 27/02/2009 19:05

yeah well..it's the way my family are..my mum didn't want me b/f infrount of my dad...she wanted me to bottle feed (we all were)... so i always felt uneasy about it....i knew it's what i wanted for dc..so i just got on with it in private.

AitchTwoOh · 27/02/2009 19:08

gosh, daftpunk, your internet persona really is at odds with your RL, isn't it? i wouldn't have thought you'd have taken that lying down.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 27/02/2009 19:08

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Horton · 27/02/2009 19:09

I understand totally, daftpunk. My in-laws were much the same. But it is kind of sad, really. And what on earth harm did she think would come to your dad from seeing you breastfeeding?!

Personally, I just brazened it out but it led to some uncomfortable moments.

daftpunk · 27/02/2009 19:10

i respect my parents aitch....and i'm actually nothing like i seem on here in RL...anyone who's spoken to me off mn will tell you that.

hunkermunker · 27/02/2009 19:10

Piscesmoon, what if she'd no other snack on her? You're not suggesting she fed the baby fruit Not Yet Purchased, are you?

And what if the baby wanted a breastfeed?

And what if what if what if - nobody actually knows what happened, so actually, this thread's just an excuse for a nice spot of prejudice-airing and validation of own practice - it's very odd, this AIBU topic, truly.

AitchTwoOh · 27/02/2009 19:10

i bet this woman was from abroad, you know...

2shoes · 27/02/2009 19:10

omg I hate these shit threads, you can't say you disagree or you are hung.
so if women are happy to have the breasts exposed(as described by op) they then can't complain if people stare or get embarresed.

hunkermunker · 27/02/2009 19:12

Was she complaining though, 2shoes?

nomoreamover · 27/02/2009 19:12

I admit I wouldn't be comfortable doing it that way myself -but I will not vilify the woman for choosing to BF that way herself - I think we still have a long way to go before BFing in public becomes more acceptable.

In some countries women BF their children in all kinds of places....

piscesmoon · 27/02/2009 19:15

No I never ever gave my DCs food not purchased! If she knows that getting around the supermarket is going to be difficult it is fairly easy to take a pot with a healthy snack.I am not saying that she shouldn't do it, but that overly militant women do more harm than good to the bfeeding cause.

Horton · 27/02/2009 19:16

Am laughing a lot at Fruit Not Yet Purchased!

nomoreamover · 27/02/2009 19:17

piscesmoon - not sure she's militant - sounds more hippy to me?....

hunkermunker · 27/02/2009 19:17

But how do you know she was overly militant?

I actually happen to agree that being overly militant often does a lot more harm than good, btw - but the brief snapshot as outlined in the OP really doesn't give you enough information to make that judgement.

(As an aside, this is one of my favouritest bf images Don't look if you're offended, eh...