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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be cross at everything being handed on a plate...

95 replies

BuckTarbrush · 26/02/2009 15:16

Someone I know has got pregnant (by accident ) and has immediately got an offer of a privately rented house paid for almost totally by the DSS, all arranged through someone she knows who works for a Housing Association. She's getting virtually everything paid for. She lives with her mother, in quite a big house, her partner will be living with her (she said he wouldn't but winked when she said it). It makes me so cross that I have to work very hard in order to pay my mortgage, as does my DH, and we struggle every month, but it sounds like she'll be able to stop working. It makes me so cross! AIBU? Surely not!

OP posts:
JollyPirate · 26/02/2009 15:19

{ hands BuckTarbrush a tin hat in preparation for the following replies}

YANBU to be annoyed that she is defrauding the state by claiming to live alone if her partner is there though.

2shoes · 26/02/2009 15:21

yanbu, she should be made to suffer and live on the streets(not)

diedandgonetodevon · 26/02/2009 15:22

I don't really know if YABU or not.
It is wrong if she is claiming to live alone but surely she must meet certain criteria to get her rent etc paid for?

harleyd · 26/02/2009 15:24

she obviously meets the criteria to get housed and housing benefit

Original poster
BuckTarbrush · 26/02/2009 15:25

But 2shoes, she isn't living on the street, she's living with her mum who is lovely. That isn't what benefit was created for, surely? I don't know what to think any more.

OP posts:
wotulookinat · 26/02/2009 15:36

YANBU. It is very annoying when it seems like some people get everything done for them and others don't. But such is life. Not worth getting at het up about.
But if she is claiming to live alone and isn't, then she is committing fraud by getting the benefits as a single person. Even claiming a single person discount for council tax when you are not living alone is fraud.

Original poster
BuckTarbrush · 26/02/2009 15:41

I know, it's not worth getting stressed about I suppose. Sometimes it just seems that this country doesn't much like 2 parent families much.

OP posts:
harleyd · 26/02/2009 15:43

would you prefer to be living on benefits op?

staryeyed · 26/02/2009 15:45

Anyone can move out of their parents and claim housing benefit- there are no rules about that. However, if she is claiming benefits as a single person when her partner works and lives there, that is not fair.

mrsjammi · 26/02/2009 15:48

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MorrisZapp · 26/02/2009 15:49

I couldn't live on benefits again (was unemployed for a while in my youth) and don't envy anybody else who has to.

mrsjammi · 26/02/2009 15:51

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TheThoughtPolice · 26/02/2009 15:54

shop her if you think she is screwing the system

unpaidworker · 26/02/2009 15:54

Are some MNetters bored today?

Original poster
BuckTarbrush · 26/02/2009 15:57

It is strange mrsjammi, I really don't understand the system.

Harleyd, no of course not, but what I object to is this: a couple such as me and my husband pay around £500 in tax between us per month, on a relatively small income each. That is £500 to go to a girl who is claiming everything she can get so that she can stay at home with her baby when I cannot. I wish there was a bit more of the "Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country" attitude. Most people just seem out for whatever they can get. Where will all this benefit money come from if the recession continues the way it's going?

Someone else I know was given a £500 handout to go towards baby equipment as she is due to give birth soon, and spent the whole lot on a really expensive buggy. She has never worked in her life. Is that weird too? We had a pretty crap buggy that was in a sale!

I feel quite cross now but I don't want to worry about other people's lives really, it's up to them I suppose.

OP posts:
Original poster
BuckTarbrush · 26/02/2009 15:58

I'm quite bored unpaidworker! But still feeling better for getting it off my chest.

OP posts:
Hawkmoth · 26/02/2009 15:58

Worst is being bumped up a waiting list because of neoptism... that's just not on at all.

BitOfFun · 26/02/2009 15:59

I didn't think you could rent off relatives and claim HB, tbh.

Seriously though. don't let it gnaw away at you - envy is a very toxic emotion.

MarlaSinger · 26/02/2009 16:01

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mrsjammi · 26/02/2009 16:01

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unpaidworker · 26/02/2009 16:04

OP

Your boredom shows with this thread TBH. Who cares?

MadameCastafiore · 26/02/2009 16:06

This is exactely why we have the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe???

unpaidworker · 26/02/2009 16:09

FWIW - MY DH earns an ok salary (in higher tax band), we get very little CTC or any other sort of help. I can't aford to work due to childcare costs. Why worry about what other people have or don't have? Yes, it is unfair if someone is claiming illegally but if you feel that strongly report them. BTW your tax does not just pay towards single parents but NHS, education etc.

Gorionine · 26/02/2009 16:09

I do not think Yabu OP.

Original poster
BuckTarbrush · 26/02/2009 16:13

unpaidworker - why are you reading it then? You must be VERY bored. I missed the bit on this site that says I had to interest everybody in order to start a thread, so apologies for that.

Yes Madame, I agree with that. It really sends out mixed messages.

BitOffun - she's not renting off her relative, but her relativeworks for a HA and has found her a flat through her lists and she is quite a forceful lady and guess she pulled a few strings.

Hey ho

Bitter isn't really the word any more. I used to be but now I think I'm resigned to it. We're trying to emigrate to leave the bitterness behind though.

OP posts: