old chestnut - pink for girls - driving me nuts

[nellieellie]

I know its been a thread before but I am so tired of the difficulty getting my 18mth DD clothes that are not pink. Don't get me wrong, she has some pink clothes but I really resent the fact that in some shops, everything for girls is pink. It's not just the clothes either, but even toys seems to be gender-marked. I go round to a friends house and her little girls snap their clothes off and put on pink tutus and look at themselves in the mirror; friends who bought my DS imaginative activity toys give DD clothes and dolls (in pink). Friends with older children hold "princess parties" for their little girls and little girl friends. My DD looks nothing like a boy but routinely is termed "little boy" at toddler groups/parks etc because she is not wearing pink. And this despite her flowing wavy hair and inch long eyelashes.
Other people talk of how their little girls are so interested in their appearance, and as young as 2 look at themselves in the mirror to see if they are "pretty".
I'm sure that the gender divide on clothes is worse than ever - as is the way toys are marketed as either for boys or girls. The worrying thing for me is that while toys for boys is invariably about doing stuff, or being active, girls toys have a bias towards appearance and looks - "prettiness". What is so good about a "princess" at a Princess party? - presumably dressing up and looking a certain way. For boys,say a "pirate party" is about rushing around, putting on silly voices and climbing up the crows nest - or sort of. I just remember my childhood as being fantastically oblivious to how I looked - having too much fun playing and running about. I don't want to isolate my little girl from her peers - and have nothing against a little bit of pink and dressing up from time to time but I don't want her to be sitting in front of a mirror putting bows in her hair (or getting me to) in the morning before she goes to nursery. I just want her to be a kid. Eating disorders are on the increase and I honestly think that in creating an enclosed world of pink and princesses for our girls we are giving too much emphasis on looks and appearance.

Children loving pink doesn't always equal vain or wanting to look a certian way.

My DD loves pink and purple and getting dressed up and having her hair done. She also loves climbing, running round and things like that.

It´s not impossible to get colours other than pink. Red and purple seem fairly common. H & M are normally pretty good. You can buy boys clothes too. Unfortunately, you can only control what toys you buy your child, not what other kids have..

I have never been a girly girl. I have treated my DS and DD very simialrly, and have certainly not pushed along gender-specific routes. However, even at 8 months, my DD nearly had me done for shop lifting, as while out shopping she had carefully pulled anything pink, fluffy or sparkly off the hangers and secreted them in her pushchair without my noticing. DS loves monsters, building and fighting. However, my daughter is by far the more active - and now I have accepted that pale pink does not rule out playing in teh mud, and skirts do not prevent climbing, everything is fine. She also enjoys playing with her brothers lego, cars etc from time to time. And whilst he would kill me for telling anyone, it has not been unknown for DS to be found playing with dolls or even in a pink fairy outfit!!

nellieellie - I'm with you completely. Went into ELC on Saturday and came out seething as EVERYTHING was pink or blue
I have a 6 yr old girly girl (no idea where that comes from as I am not in the least 'girly'!) and a very physical 3 yr old boy but they both love to dress up, play with dollies and dolls house/play on their bikes and scooters/run around and climb things. Hopefully a good mix of things.

I also go spare trying to find bright funky clothes for both of them - yes DD likes pink but she also LOVES bright yellow which is hard to find in the sea of pink. Don't even get me started on the choice for boys - hoorible slogans, navy or mud-coloured as far as I can see.

I did a lot of stuff about identity at college which fascinated me and I do worry for DD especially as she gets older and the peer-pressure and media influence take over.

If it helps at all DD was mistaken for a boy at about 18mths when in a vivid pink dress

I agree with you actually. I had DS first and when DD came along it took me ages to start enjoying girlie things with her and stop getting cross about all the endless pinkness in the shops. For ages I would automatically buy stuff just because it wasn't pink, I was so keen to avoid it.

She is 4 now and likes to wear pink and purple and dress up as a fairy, but thanks to having an older brother LOVES all the so called "boys" toys and dressing up as a pirate and whatnot. She is more interested in her appearance, I can't deny it, but maybe that is because she is copying my behaviour. After all she sees me brushing my hair and putting on make up every morning.

I really think there is a balance to be struck and that there is no benefit in trying to stop them from enjoying dressing up as a princess. I know that given the opportunity I would have LOVED that at her age. But also she has spent literally hours each day in the last week playing with all of DS's lego and loving it. Just give her opportunities to enjoy all kinds of toys and experiences and you can't go wrong.

I totally agree. even in H and M which has nice colours, the girls' trousers for babies and toddlers are cut tighter round the bum and legs, more 'figure hugging', I find that extremely disturbing. even girls' baby vests are cut differently fgs.

I also hate the slogans making little boys out to be vicious monsters and little girls out to be Daddy's princess.

There are t shirts on amazon for 6 month olds that say things like 'Mummy drinks when I cry'.

I could go on! talk about gender equality, it's a joke.

I ordered a lot of stuff from Jako, this german kids clothing site as got fed up.

What's wrong with a princess party?
It's just pretend...would you feel the same if it was princess and princes party? Dd has occasionally acted out princess or mermaid stories...

Little boys clothes with 'here come trouble' on them and 'lock up your daughters'
mmm they aren't too nice either are they?
I have one of each gender and it's just as stereotyped for boys too...especially if you have a little boy who isn't into pirates or 'swashbuckling' .Surely you just avoid pink if you don't like it much (i do)..and who cares if they think your dd is a boy anyway.

..and for some reason ..that post sounds rather arsey and aggressive when read back
(and i didn't mean it to at all!
(maybe it's the diet coke i just drank)
Anyway...what i said but much nicer

I agree with you OP. I'm not particularly 'into' gender politics - but queried local Sains Cust Services for labelling up the toy vehicles as Boys Toys. Their response was patronising, sarcastic and ignorant - so I wrote a letter to the chief exec and Anna Ford (non exec director - the newsreader) complaining.
The sign is still there though... why..? Aside from the gender stereotyping - it's simply inaccurate - why not label it Toy Vehicles - much easier for customers and does what it says on the tin!!
Grrrr!!!!

La Redoute do nice non-pink clothes.

Do find it frustrating. My DDs favourite colour is yellow, and I am brainwashing her into playing Chef rather than 'cook' and Doctor rather than Nurse!

I have nightmares about the ultimate girly route that the media seems to love... worst case scenario in my paranoia

Pink - Princess - Cheerleader - Popstar - Sucking off some dirty footballer footballer's wife.

Ahem.

Balls at the strikeout!

YANBU

I was just remarking to myself the other day about the fact that girls don't have short hair anymore, (unless they are real "tomboys" don't really like that label either) and this sickly sweet pink thing is completely over the top.

My oldest Ds favourite colour was pink (he always chose a pink cup, etc. until he went to playgroup at 3 and was told by another boy that that was a girls' colour)

Helium - I have a similar issue with Hamleys (don't ever buy anything there v.v.v expensive). Their "Girls" floor has all the arts and crafts stuff in it - like boys don't do any of those things!

Agree agree.

John Lewis do quite a lot of clothes I would call non-gendered. Also toys. you just have to look around.

DD has quite a lot of boys clothes as well - personally I prefer them.

Ok sometimes people think she's a boy but she's too young to care (18mo) so so what.

Where on earth are you shopping shineoncrazydiamond? Bond Street? I think you're wrong . There aren't lots of non-pink clothes for girls, especially not at the cheaper end of the market. If you've got oodles to spend on Bonpointe then maybe - but it's tough, tough, tough trying to find lovely clothes for girls that don't look as though they should be on either 15 year olds or disney princesses.
Girls get to be faries or princesses or - wait for it - fairy princesses. That's about it - clothes, toys, you name it. It's tough to find alternatives, and it's even tougher when friends and family keep insisting on buying pink shiney glittery stuff for them.
GRRRRR!!!

Ah well that's the difficuly then if the clothes need to be "girls" but not "pretty pretty". Rules out boys stuff which is how I often avoid the pink plague.

I know it's not exactly cheap but Nordic Kids has masses of lovely stuff for both girls and boys that is both practical and not too tied to gender.

There are lots of non pink girl's clothes out there. I have a rule for my dd to keep pink and lilac (can't stand that either) to a minimum for as long as I can. She's got quite a few brown things with pink detailing, reds, purples, white, yellow (mainly in summer), green,... All colours in the rainbow really. She's 5 now and only recently she's started asking for pink things. She's never owned a pink coat in her life. InmyheadIminParis agree on the glittery stuff. I can't stand it either. When I can I shop in Belgium, there's less of this pink for girls around. Clothes can be girly yet not pink and/or glittery IMO.
So YANBU

i dont like pink (4 girls in my house)

check out boots mini-mode, primark and next. they all have a 'nautica; theme this year qwith their younger childrens styling. lots of reds and blues.

dd4 in my favourite hoody

navy white dress and cardy set modelled by dd4 again

mini-mode the clothes are well made as well. very nice.

Somebody pointed me in the direction of this Germany company and it does have quite a lot of non-pink, brightly coloured and unisex clothes. The prices are in Euros but before you order a currency conversion thing pops up.

I think the baby basics are very good, with lots of plain bright colours and stripes.

Belgianchocolates - I agree - the girls' clothes on the continent are much better - pretty but not, you know, tarty. Why can't the UK follow suit?
Thanks for the Nordic Kids tip Horton... am of to peruse...

molly n jack pretty but not pink.

... and I'm back! Found a gorgeous rainbow striped t-shirt - £24 .
Please tell me they have great sales?

misdee

What a little cutie!