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Original poster

old chestnut - pink for girls - driving me nuts

140 replies

nellieellie · 26/02/2009 10:44

I know its been a thread before but I am so tired of the difficulty getting my 18mth DD clothes that are not pink. Don't get me wrong, she has some pink clothes but I really resent the fact that in some shops, everything for girls is pink. It's not just the clothes either, but even toys seems to be gender-marked. I go round to a friends house and her little girls snap their clothes off and put on pink tutus and look at themselves in the mirror; friends who bought my DS imaginative activity toys give DD clothes and dolls (in pink). Friends with older children hold "princess parties" for their little girls and little girl friends. My DD looks nothing like a boy but routinely is termed "little boy" at toddler groups/parks etc because she is not wearing pink. And this despite her flowing wavy hair and inch long eyelashes.
Other people talk of how their little girls are so interested in their appearance, and as young as 2 look at themselves in the mirror to see if they are "pretty".
I'm sure that the gender divide on clothes is worse than ever - as is the way toys are marketed as either for boys or girls. The worrying thing for me is that while toys for boys is invariably about doing stuff, or being active, girls toys have a bias towards appearance and looks - "prettiness". What is so good about a "princess" at a Princess party? - presumably dressing up and looking a certain way. For boys,say a "pirate party" is about rushing around, putting on silly voices and climbing up the crows nest - or sort of. I just remember my childhood as being fantastically oblivious to how I looked - having too much fun playing and running about. I don't want to isolate my little girl from her peers - and have nothing against a little bit of pink and dressing up from time to time but I don't want her to be sitting in front of a mirror putting bows in her hair (or getting me to) in the morning before she goes to nursery. I just want her to be a kid. Eating disorders are on the increase and I honestly think that in creating an enclosed world of pink and princesses for our girls we are giving too much emphasis on looks and appearance.

OP posts:
Original poster
nellieellie · 27/02/2009 13:22

It's been so good having so many responses to this. I went to a baby/toddler group this morning with my DD. Every other girl there was in pink. I think it's difficultto say that a girl genuinely likes pink of her own accord given that she will be surrounded by pink from such an early age. It's not just the colour though - it's the "prettiness" and the frills and accessories. I know this sounds harsh but when I see a very young toddler/baby - who obviously cannot yet pick her own clothes (ie choose what to buy)dressed up in frills and bows, it gives me feeling of distaste akin to seeing a dog dressed up in clothes. My 18mth DD does love her brother's train set as well, and his cars, space rocket (ELC - fantastic esp with the space station, buggy etc). She is possibly more into animals than he is, and far more agile with her climbing and exploring.
Am really looking forward this weekend to checking out all the different clothes websites that have been mentioned above, and am so glad that others think like I do on this.

OP posts:
Nightcrawly · 27/02/2009 15:59

Ah I misunderstood Divineintervention, I completely agree with you now I understand.

tumtumtetum · 27/02/2009 16:01

nellie my DD has the space rocket and space station as well - it is a brilliant toy - I sometimes have a little play with it myself

I know what you mean as well about the dressing up - at our postnatal all the little grils would be in flamboyant dresses, tights, cardis, hair clips etc etc they were dressed up to the nines. Why on earth go to all that trouble when they're just as happy in a babygro. What really irks me is crawling girls in dresses as it just doesn't work and their progress in hampered - that can't be good surely. Learning at that age that looks come before practicality. I suppose it prepares them for stilettos in later life

notcitrus · 27/02/2009 17:42

nellie - same here. A is a boy (5 months) but has worn a lot of pink because we got lots of hand-me-downs. Most people think this is quite amusing and/or a good idea (especially people with more than one child), but quite a few say it's really wierd and they wouldn't have put pink gifts on their boys.

I do lots of clothes shopping on Ebay and at NCT sales and charity shops, not because I'm cheap (well actually I am!) but because then I can find clothes that aren't dull blue/grey/khaki or with horrible slogans.

Actually what gets on my wick even more than clothes is the mothers who ascribe everything about their baby to it being a boy/girl. "Ooh, isn't she pretty, simpering at you, so swweet, now don't kick that baby" versus "ooh, he's a strong lad, look at him, he'll be a right charmer - ha, he kicked that baby, he'll be a footballer"...gack! They're under 6 months old - let them live free of stereotypes for a bit!

AnnasBananas · 27/02/2009 20:00

YANBU

I like pink but not as the main colour in an outfit for my dd's aged 2 and 4. It is frustrating looking for girls clothes. I especially have a problem with the whole 'princess' concept on the whole that the UK seems to embrace. Living in Germany for two years was such a relief as european girls clothes are rarely pink, they go for so many other colours, it's lovely.

I find Verbaudet has a good selection (being French) I despise anywhere like BHS or Next...everything is emblazoned with princess/fairy logos and pink overload, it's just vile.

christywhisty · 27/02/2009 20:08

Have you actually looked at the website the majority is not pink and yes there are some logos again not the majority.

christywhisty · 27/02/2009 20:09

sorry that should say Next website

notsoteenagemum · 27/02/2009 20:19

YANBU I vowed when pg with dd that a girl of mine would never wear pink but was swamped with pink outfits from the day she was born. Despite my best efforts she loved pink up until about 7.

I also hate the way pushchairs etc are all pink or blue now too, I'm sure its just a money-making scheme between hospitals an pram companies.
Also while I'm ranting didnt elc used to pride itself on the fact the sold just toys rather than 'girl' or 'boy' toys.

FaintlyMacabre · 27/02/2009 20:34

YANBU. This infuriates me, and I don't even have a girl. When I was young I was dressed in various shades of brown. From jumble sales. Maybe I'm just jealous.

Also, I've posted this before on here, but I think it's amusing enough to post again.

ilovemyghds · 27/02/2009 20:46

Horton- love the babygro (and v cute baby!).

My DD has started to love pink. I don't object to it but if I am choosing clothes I will avoid the colour as presents from relatives are usually in pink so if I buy it too we would have overkill. She does look her cutest though when 'dressed down' in DSs old jumpers and baggy jeans.

My baby DD is just not remotely girly looking. I dress her mainly in white and gender neutral colours as the clothes aimed at girls just look ridiculous on her.

tumtumtetum · 27/02/2009 20:48

faintlymac v good.

I had forgotten the vest horror.

I always managed to find green and orange ones with dinosaurs and things which I thought were in the middle - neither boy nor girl - but now I wonder if they were actually boy things and I was too unfeminine to realise

dancingqueeen · 27/02/2009 20:50

this thread reminds me that I read about a new campaign the other day about just this topic, its called 'pinkstinks' :

www.pinkstinks.co.uk/

NoIAmTheNewQueenofMN · 27/02/2009 21:02

Aww, Misdee, DD4 is GORGEOUS! Clothes not bad too!

Jux · 27/02/2009 21:06

When dd was born I wasn't going to give her any pink. MIL asked if there was anything dd needed so I gave her a list and said anything on it, so long as it's not pink. Guess what - every single thing she got over the next 2 years was pink!

A friend told me you can never dress your daughter in pink, and deprive her completely of pink, bring her up so she's never seen pink and it'll still be her favourite colour when she gets to 3 or 4!

NoIAmTheNewQueenofMN · 27/02/2009 21:13

ooh dancingqueen, thanks for the link - have just joined their Facebook group.

Horton · 27/02/2009 21:15

Thanks, ghds! Obviously I also think she is gorgeous too!

I also asked for no pink when DD was born to absolutely no effect, apart from my darling great aunt who gave her a beautiful bold red and purple outfit.

DD does sometimes want pink things and I would never tell her she can't have a particular colour, I just want to make the point that it's not the only colour girls can wear. And actually, it doesn't much suit her. I've lost count of the number of times my hairless baby was identified as a boy (fine, fair enough) and then when I said she was a girl the person would say 'But she's wearing green!' like it was a crime. Weird, IMO. How many times do you see adult women walking around dressed top to toe in pink? I don't need a pink phone or a pink laptop or a pink hairbrush or pink socks or a pink saucepan or a pink dishwasher or a pink cooker. Why should DD need so many pink things? It's not right. It doesn't matter that there's nothing inherently bad about pink. Why have all the other colours been banished from a baby girl's colour experience? Sorry, that sounded a bit wanky but I hope you know what I mean.

misdee · 27/02/2009 21:17

horton, i know what you meam

dd4 was out in red, navy and white today.

Horton · 27/02/2009 21:20

Good, I'm glad someone does! I fell out with some people from my ante-natal group over the pink thing, actually. I think they thought I was insane.

Horton · 27/02/2009 21:29

Also, may I just say that red, navy and white is very stylish.

misdee · 27/02/2009 21:33

she looks girly right?

Horton · 27/02/2009 21:37

She does. And also absolutely cute as a button.

I have got DD a navy pinafore for the spring and some red and green tops to wear with it. With cream tights and purple shoes she will look both girly and unpink, I hope!

nappyaddict · 27/02/2009 21:37

Today I saw some gorgeous wellies in Primark. They had a cow print on them but they were pastel pink. I wish they were in a gender neutral colour so I could have got them for DS. I was half considering getting them anyway but as he hadn't specifically asked for them I thought I probably shouldn't get him something so obviously girly. The boy's equivalent was navy blue stripey pirate ones

misdee · 27/02/2009 21:39

primark have pirate welllies! coool. dd3 outgrew her black pirate ones.

nappyaddict · 27/02/2009 21:39

Yeah but they're £10 which I thought was a bit expensive. Debenhams wellies are only £9!!

dustbuster · 27/02/2009 21:40

YANBU - I hate this too.

I find Boots baby clothes surprisingly nice. But my absolute fave is DPAM:
www.dpam.com/