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Original poster

grotty child thread!

80 replies

drlove8 · 25/02/2009 17:34

we,ve had a grotty man thread, a grotty MNetters thread- now this is the grotty child thread! ....... join in ladies!.... last week i was co-bathing my 3yr old twins, and all of a sudden ds4 shouted" mum mum, there you are " and handed me an object.... dd4 had shit in the bath and son had fished it out and handed me it!..... dh was in hysterics, as it had been floating in amongst the toys for a few minutes andi hadnt noticed!

OP posts:
dilemma01 · 26/02/2009 16:33

headzookeeper, my niece is almost 18, she has a collection of toe clippings on her bedside table that she chews while watching telly, she sees nothing wrong with this

dilemma01 · 26/02/2009 16:34

teo nail clipping I mean.

headzookeeper · 26/02/2009 16:49

mine doesn't either dilemma although I've yet to find a toe nail clipping. I think he must eat them [yeuch]

BoffinMum · 26/02/2009 17:10

I collected up the DCs nits and put them under DS's new microscope and watched them wriggle to death on the glass slide.

HAHHAHHAHHAHHAHHAH!
REVENGE IS MINE!!!!!!

supergluebum · 26/02/2009 17:48

My DS was pottering in the back garden and came to the back door seriously sucking on something. I looked at him just at the moment he spat out a snail and declared "yuk"! Before going off to find another one.
bleugh!

Knakard · 26/02/2009 21:21

I have none to challenge these as yet but a shameless bump as i want more!!!

mamadiva · 26/02/2009 21:31

Okay will get shot for telling thsi but LMFAO I have too.

When my brother was 3 he asked my mum what a tampon was for she said she would tell him when he was older, he ran away happily then came into living room about 10 minutes later with not a stitch on and a string hanging out his arse

My mum thought hed put it between his arse cheeks but then he pulled it out and it had shit on the end he proceeded to piss himself laughing then chased me round the house witha shit covered tampon LMFAO

I feel bad I should balance this out, when I was 2 I got a 2p stuck in my fanjo because I thought it was a piggy bank ROFL.

Jacksmama · 26/02/2009 21:47

RRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFLLLLLLLLL!!!!!

I don't think anyone can beat that mamadiva!

mamadiva · 26/02/2009 22:05

aww no one going to try? LOL

FairyLightsForever · 26/02/2009 22:11

Ah, so that's why DD keeps trying to post things up there...

ridingjoker · 26/02/2009 23:08

ds gives me a row when the tampon box is out. i tell him to leave the bathroom and he says "ok, as long as you dont put THOSE up your bum"

he's 3 on saturday

ThePellyandMe · 27/02/2009 05:50

PMSL

No poo stories that come close to any of these but DS1 (6) is disgusting with his snot. He's another that does these ridiculously big sneezes. Before you can even say "use this tissue", quick as a flash he's swept his finger down and wiped it in his mouth.

Does it at home, at school, he doesn't care. Lord only knows what his teacher thinks

I send him to school with 4 tissues when he has a cold. None of them ever get used.

tw1nkley · 28/02/2009 00:28

I once knew a girl nicknamed snatch crackle and pop... 3 guesses what she did

tw1nkley · 28/02/2009 22:05

OMG!!! I did it with that????? I killed the thread????

Blimey I didn't think it was that bad especially after all the snot poo and tampon related incidences???

LackaDAISYcal · 28/02/2009 22:10

My DD likes to use the toilet rim block as face cream.

She also washes her hands in the cat's drinking bowl. DH noticed her doing this and then drying her hands on the teatowel that is usually slung over the radiator. We have no idea how long she had been doing it before we noticed.

She also likes to dig out scraps from the tub we keep for the compost bin.....

.....and has smothered herself in poo on more than one occasion. She's only 20 months old as well; I just can't wait for potty training

LackaDAISYcal · 28/02/2009 22:11

oooh, and she has eaten slugs that she has found in the garden

tw1nkley · 28/02/2009 22:23

phew!!!! thought i'd killed it but thankyou that was truley grim!!!!! LOL!!!!

keepingitRia · 28/02/2009 22:25

sorry tw1nkley you'll have to spell that one out for me?

Yesterday I let DS3 (20m) put some apple in the cage for the killer rabbit and the cute guinea pig. We then took the GP out for a cuddle. DS3 ran away and went to the hutch, slammed it shut and came back looking a bit defiant and full-mouthed. I am certain he stole some apple from the bowl

He also drinks the bathwater when he's wee-ed in in, has smeared poo over the playpen, and hides his toast so he can eat it much later...

oh, and he chews his food, spits it out, and then eats it again.

Pretty grim, but grotty?

sarahappymummy · 28/02/2009 22:29

This thread takes me back to when DS1 was about 2 years old. He was up the garden and I could see him from a distance, with what seemed like a piece of grass hanging out of his mouth. When I got closer to him, I noticed that the piece of grass seemed to be moving. Then I realised it was a worm. Except, by the time I fished it out, it was half a worm.

Eeewww!

tw1nkley · 28/02/2009 22:32

keepingitria

ok i'll be blunt

She stuffed rice crispies up her fanny (in american its a snatch) Hence snatch crackle and POP!!

Compared to some of the stuff on here i thought it was pretty mild.

keepingitRia · 28/02/2009 22:37

OK, that is grim. How old was she?

tw1nkley · 28/02/2009 22:53

Dunno - still had the nickname at 14 Yrs tho

keepingitRia · 28/02/2009 22:58

ah, there were girls at school known as twix or kitkat...

one was called strawberries and cream[shopck](you wouldn't thinkit to look ather)

Leslaki · 28/02/2009 23:15

I work in y1 - yesterday i had them supposedly 'having a minute' of sitting quietly - they had the option of having eyes closed.... 1 closed his eyes, (obviously that ment we couldn't see him ...) inserted almost whole finger up nostril, pulled out huge bogey, shoved it in his mouth and chomped loudly for a minute (had sand timer..)!!! UURRGGHH!! Obviously all other children were watching and trying vvvv hard not to laugh/vomit. I asked him to wash his hands and he asked why. A helpful 5 yo told him what they'd seen and he replied 'there's nothing dirty - I like it. It tastes nice. Mummy and daddy do it too. We all like eating bogeys." AAARGGHH!!! very hard to look mummy dearest ('Yummy mummy' wanna be in the extreme!) in the eye at pick up!

On the subject of pooh - DS poohed behind a door once .... lovely once the door was opened and he sat there pointing saying 'pooh'.

Stayingsunnygirl · 28/02/2009 23:23

When ds1 was going through the terrible twos, we had a particularly bad day - he had had a 1.5 hour tantrum the night before, and had been screaming for 45 minutes already that morning - and it was only 8am. I was on the phone to dh in floods of tears, saying I couldn't cope, when I noticed it had gone quiet, and looked to see why.

Ds1 was happily munching the tortilla chips we'd thrown away in the kitchen bin the night before - and I let him carry on, because I was just so grateful that he'd stopped screaming!!

I did put the bin away in the cupboard after that, though, so he couldn't forage for any similar snacks!