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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to care about my name being shortened?

76 replies

loupiots · 22/02/2009 23:37

My real name is quite easily shortened (not as easily as Katherine to Kate, for example, but in that league).

But I hate the shortened version, and frequently have to tell people not to call me that.

It feels really petty, but it irritates me so..

AIBU?

OP posts:

kayzr · 23/02/2009 12:03

My cousin is a Victoria and her dad calls her Vicks and she hates it.

RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 23/02/2009 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Squirdle · 23/02/2009 12:04

I get called by my shortened name, Becky all of the time by friends and family, which is fine (although I do really like my full name, Rebekah)

The only thing which has annoyed me recently is that at work I use my full name as it sounds more professional iyswim. I work in an estate agents and yesterday whilst doing viewings one couple kept calling me Becky despite me introducing myself as Rebekah. They were a very well to do couple and it just grated that they decided for themselves what they would call me

Squirdle · 23/02/2009 12:05

Oh and I get Bex from very close friends, which is also fine....but I wouldn't like it from other people.

FeelSickWIthWorry · 23/02/2009 12:05

Kayzr, it is annoying as Vicky is a perfectly nice shortening of Victoria, I know how your cousin feels.

oldraver · 23/02/2009 13:29

I dont think my name can be shortened 'nicely' and everyone has always called me by my full name (well apart from my Gran who called me Rainy, but she was odd anyway).

At work many years ago, when I told someone my name they said "OOh I cant call you that its too long, I'll call you Laurie, or Loz". I said no thats not my name and they said childishly "well I'll call yout that anyway". they soon learnt they didnt get any response

StealthPolarBear · 23/02/2009 13:34

YANBU
My name really is Kate, and every so often someone calls me Katherine - it's not my name at all!
Also, I love friends calling me Katy, but I hate it when people just assume that that's what I get called - if so I'd introduce myself as that!
I have a friend called Elizabeth, and I wouldn't dream of shortening it unless she suggested it!

lulus · 23/02/2009 13:57

You are DEFINITELY NOT being unreasonable - my name is shortened too - don't mind by people I have known for ages but can't stand it when people do without even asking if I like it or not.

Chose my dd name thinking it could not be shortened - and lo and behold - people try to - horrid!!!! I think its a way for them to try to be familiar and friendly, but i still don't like it, and will say, please can you use her full name - most dont mind and will quickly say ok.

ForeverOptimistic · 23/02/2009 14:07

I prefer my full length name but don't mind when people shorten it when they are talking to me. What really makes me irrationally angry is when people refer to me by the shortened version! Example when I was at work sometimes people would telephone and ask to speak to "Jo Smith" even though my full name was written down (my name isn't actually Jo, I am just using that as an example)I would be really pedantic and tell them that they had the wrong number and I didn't know anyone by that name.

vezzie · 23/02/2009 14:25

This thread is confusing me like the dogshit ones do - all of you are right, there seems to be such consensus, who are these asshats who seem to have decided that what is clearly crap behaviour (leaving dogshit / unilaterally shortening names) is ok?

Pollyanna · 23/02/2009 14:29

I don't think you're being unreasonable. My chief exec shortens my name at work and it does irritate me - he is the only one, and I know he is just being friendly, but I don't like the shortened version of my name.

moonweazel · 23/02/2009 14:36

Just to flip this around, I get very when people lengthen my name! I don't like my 'sunday best' name, I much prefer the diminutive!

Both my DSs have names that have many variations so when they are bigger, they can chose what they want to be called.

TinkerBellesMumandFiFi2 · 23/02/2009 14:36

trout, would you think it was affectionate if a telesales person used it? Fair enough to let your friends but when it's some stranger or an acquaintence who has no "affection" for you I don't see how it can be affectionate.

It's interesting that if this thread had been about children's names it would have different responses. I don't like my daughter's name being shortened because it's not her name and if she wants to be called something that isn't her name she can choose for herself and I will respect that. It really winds me up though when someone who doesn't know her shortens it straight away. She's 2 1/2, she's not old enough to know that there are different versions of her name. OTOH she is called Tinker Belle, Tink, Tinker, Tinkeroo, Stinker, Tink Tink... and will answer to any of them, as long as there is a Tink in there lol.

glitterstar88 · 23/02/2009 14:37

YANBU my names Katherine, i dont really like it and i have been known as Katie for most my life, but now people have started to call me Kate, i know its not much different to Katie but im not that keen on it. Another thing i get annoyed about is the spelling of my name. Every birthday and christmas i get cards and presents from a certain two family members who write it out as Katy.

hifi · 23/02/2009 14:46

i think its a very english thing to do, i dont think you will stop it.
my sil goes mad if i shorten hers but she shortens mine . i personally think unless you know the person well and carry on seeing them a long time its worth telling them otherwise i wouldnt stress.
a pet hate of mine are name such as sarah jane etc.

orangina · 23/02/2009 15:11

You are definitely NOT being unreasonable.... I hate it when people try to shorten my name. In one case, a sort of colleague kept trying to call me (say) Kathy instead of (say) Katherine... I kept telling him, my name is actually Katherine, it isn't Kathy. Eventually I told him I just wouldn't react to Kathy, but he kept doing it (why?????!!!!!!). So I ignored him. Completely. He was Very Cross.

(not the brightest cookie in the jar btw...)

orangina · 23/02/2009 15:12

I wqas going to say that yes, I think it is a very english thing to do, but in the case of The Man Who Wouldn't Do What He Was Told, he wasn't english at all....

(so there goes my argument)

BouncingTurtle · 23/02/2009 15:25

I hate people shortening my name to "Son" (it's Sonia). I also hate people spelling it with a y or a j when I have spelt it out to them in an email or letter.

YADNBU!!

flowerybeanbag · 23/02/2009 15:35

I have 3 names! My full name I use for work and therefore all friends I have met through work call me that.

I have one short name which most people very close to me call me, old friends and family. I have another shortening that a group of friends started calling me when we all got to know each other. All fine, bit headspinning when people from all three sets of people get together though.

Amusingly, I now work with someone who was previously only in one of the non-work groups - I was introducing myself as my full 'work' name to her colleagues and she was calling me the short version.

I don't mind, both the short versions grew out of affection from the people in question. On the other hand if you do mind and ask people to stop and they then persist, that's not on obviously.

MirandaG · 23/02/2009 15:48

I have both scenarios. I have been called by the shortened version of my name since the day I was born, but some people insist on calling my by my full name, which is not me, or shortening my name even further...grrr Just call me by my name! I actually don't mind close family and friends shortening it, but I can't bear when people who hardly know me do it. IME it is a very English thing to do - doesn't really happen in Ireland - and it is usually done affectionately, but to me it comes across as presumptious and over intimate when someone you hardly know does it. It's also really annoying when it's a sort of 'made up' abbreviation rather than an established one, but now I sound like a right old fuddy duddy.

neversaydie · 23/02/2009 16:13

My username is an indication of just how much I hate having my name shortened. By anyone. At all. Just because my parents called me a name that sounds a bit like Diana, and people thought that rather than listen to me when I told them what my name was, it was easier just to tell me to drop dead....

'Neversaydie' is therefore nothing whatsoever to do with my positive attitude to life and my gung ho approach to life's difficulties. It has everything to do with me wanting people to get my sodding name right.

End of rant. Sorry about that.

Original poster

loupiots · 23/02/2009 18:56

neversaydie
that's v. funny. (I can see how irritating, but still..
...funny).

OP posts:

CrabApple5 · 28/11/2021 20:00

I've had this discussion tonight, for Years my brother has shortened my name to a 2 letters name and I hate it! But until now haven't said anything however I was really peeved and said via my parents who pass on cards presents etc that I don't like it it's Not my name.My husband, parents, most friends all call me my full name but my bro can't be fussed.I've noticed as well there's a rather self obsessed friend of mine I've known for years that does it sometimes as well , again without my permission.On cards, messages i i send them i use my full name an i being unreasonable to want my full name using !

Ileflottante · 28/11/2021 23:12

This thread is nearly 13 years old. LET IT DIE!

Marvellousmadness · 28/11/2021 23:39

Yanbu.
Just tell them that. And stop responding it they call you by the shortened version.

A name is you. So it's very important that you have people calling you the way you wanna be called

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