To disagree with small children recieving communion or being confirmed

[Reallytired]

I go to a church of England church and recently it has started allowing children as young as five to take communion. The children in question have attended a set of classes for a term before doing so. They then had a special service (within the main family service), which wasn't actually a confirmation service, but very similar.

The priest asked a five year old boy what made him decide he was ready for communion. The little boy was speechless desperately shy. I doult he had any clue whatsoever what the sacrement of communion is. Yes, Jesus may have welcomed little children, but were there any small boys at the last supper?

What annoyed me was that my son was asked whether he wanted to prepare for communion by the priest when the priest damm well knows my views on the subject. I feel like changing church.

I think its better to wait until people have some maturity and life experience before taking the sacrement of holy communion. I have told my son that he will have to wait until he is sixteen years old to get confirmed. (Ie. when he is an age that he can actually make a decision independently.)

My DDs were confirmed last year aged 10 and 8. They asked to do it - no pressure from anyone - they had a clear idea of what they were doing and were old enough to understand the instruction they had.

I do think 5 is much too young though so no YANBU but the priest is, particularly as he knew your views. Maybe he thinks confirming a max of kids scores him holy points?!

I risk causing a riot, and that really isn't my intention, but surely the same could be said of a Christening? Putting a child forward into a faith that they have no real understanding of.

Yet Christenings are incredibly common, so is the communion a much bigger commitment? I am clearly somewhat ignorant of these things.

I do agree in principle tho', hence neither of our children being Christened - I want them to learn about all faiths and possibly choose one if they so desire.

ThePgHedgeWitchIsCrankyBeware,

I love your user name. TBH I don't think I had a complete and full understanding of my religon when I was 18. I was bullied into confirmaion by mother who was worried that I would go to hell.

I didn't really develop truely independent religous thought before I went away to university. In many ways I wish I could have been confirmed in my twenties or thirties when it would have actually meant something.

Out of curiosity, what age did you become a pagan?

I am kind of with you - I would be very interested in the content of the classes .

and from this stems my distate for infant baptism

but I am very low church so perhaps have less of an emphasis on the importance of the sacrament than you do

however I was still surprised when my erratic churchgoing happened to coincide with a URC-style communion service (where it's passed from person to person along the pews rather than people going up to the front) and the steward offered me a piece of bread for dd (18m).
I refused politely but thinking about it later I was touched by the though that they were happy to include dd as part of the church 'family' - I realise that to her it would have been enjoying a snack with people and not the sacrament, but sharing food with a community of people is a powerful symbol even if it's only food, iyswim.

Well, the Orthodox Church has children receiving communion from infancy, as soon as they're baptized.

I totally agree - I have just had an invitation to attend my Niece's "first communion" in France (where they live). She is 7! I just feel very uncomfortable about pressuring children into any religion.

I attend a C of E church with my family. We have all been Christened/Baptised but none of us yet confirmed. My dd's are 5 and 3. Everyone is invited up to share in communion and nearly all go. Dd1 dips her bread in the wine, dd2 just has the bread. It is part of what made us feel so welcome there and encourages us to return each week. I was asked if I wanted to be confirmed last summer but I was not ready at that time...I still feel I have a lot of thinking and exploring of my faith to do but I really really really appreciate the way we are made to feel part of the church family while we make these important decisions...

Odd. The Catholic church has First Communion at 7 and Confirmation at 13. Why do the Church of England confirm so much younger?

I was brought up as a catholic and we did our first holy communion at the age of 7 back then.

I had no idea really what it was all about and as far as I was concerned, it was an opportunity to wear a pretty dress (white like a mini brides dress) and have a party with presents (if you can call a rosary, crucfix necklace and a prayer book a present!)

Children should be of an age where they are old enough to understand what they are promising. 7 is too young and 5 is ridiculous.

I think YANBU - the age of "reason" has always been taken to be 7, afaik, and even that's too early for most of them to really understand what on earth is going on. Also, unless you are Methodist, isn't communion wine alcoholic? And as a Methodist, we weren't able to take communion (in our church at least) until at least 13, iirc.
So who would want to be giving their DC alcohol at age 5? (and I know that it can be culturally acceptable in e.g. France to introduce alcohol (diluted) at a young age but still!)

Can't see the point of this myself.

I think first communion in the catholic church is a bit different. Since they do try very hard to make the lessons age appropriate - and 7/8 is perfectly old enough to actually have some learning in those lessons.

Genuine confirmation at 5 seems really ridiculous though. I agree, they are too young to understand.

it was a Methodist church that offered dd bread at 18m...

actually, yes, what PgHedgewitchetc said is also what happens in my old church - rather than exclude people, unconfirmed people and children can still come forward and receive a blessing. And even if they put their hands up for bread and non-alco wine, they still just get a blessing!

Actually, I think our confirmation age was 15 - after Sunday school, we were supposed to go to confirmation classes, and I think that started at 13. I never got confirmed as by 15 I was too doubtful of the whole situation.

In our RC diocese nobody is allowed to get confirmed before they are 14. Most of the children in my daughter's communion class are 8 plus. She is ten.

My DS has been taking communion since he was 3 - the theological position in my church is that baptism is the only requirement for receiving communion. By taking communion he is taking part in the service, and not being excluded from an important part of it. He was not required to make any statement of faith or committment to the church, and has not been confirmed.

If he decides to be confirmed, that will be an adult choice which he makes. If he doens't decide to, then I am fine with that. If he decides to stop taking communion, I'm also fine with that.

I was christened greek orthodox and was allowed to take holy communion from the day I was christened as a small baby. My children were bought up c of e and both were confirmed at 10/11.
You are not making a promise by taking holy communion, that comes with confirmation.

hmm I think YABU - it varies from child to child I think and I think the move to bringing it to younger children is a good one - they are quite pious when they are about that age

It's always been 7 in the catholic church

It's a mystery - does it matter how much you understand it? I don't know that it does.

I can see both sides of the argument, both of which are biblical.

One one hand, a child should understand the sacrament.

On the other hand, why would we deny the inward grace from a member or the family?

We don't include children in the Lord's Supper in our church, but we do get around the issue by have Agape meals for the whole church family 2 or 3 times a year.

I have a slightly different perspective. I guess I have a pretty low view of communion while still thinking of it as a sacrament. The original Eucharists were part of communal meals in people's homes, and done in memory of Jesus just as he told them to. It was only many hundreds of years later that it became something you needed to be 'confirmed' for and something only a priest could do. I see it like baptism; if we are wanting to include our dc in our family faith and believe that they are part of it I am more than for including them in the bread and wine, if they want it. I'm not bothered about the whole 'fully understanding' thing, I'm 37 and I don't fully understand, and Jesus used words to the effect that he had 'hidden these things from the wise and revealed them to small children' and that we would do well to accept stuff as they do...hmm, whole other discussion there. For my dc it's a simple thing. They are part of a community, our church, they are part of our faith and they believe it themselves, they therefore want to be involved. I only hold back on account of my church, who want to wait until 7, my dd now takes it having done a course, but wanted to for years. Interesting discussion.

When I first went to the church I kept my head down when I went forward for communion expecting only a blessing for me and the children. The server actually stopped and made a point of personally offering me the bread. I said no at that point as I didn't feel comfortable. They all know at church that neither DH or I are confirmed, but have made it extra clear that we are all very welcome to share in Holy Communion.

YABU

well as a complete anti religious person, I can imagine parents of young children want their dc to take part in what they believe in.
I do however remember my confirmation at 11y and me being forced to do something I did not want.