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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that you shouldnt leave a baby unattended in pizza hut?

98 replies

MamaMaiasaura · 15/02/2009 21:50

Was in today and had lunch with dp and ds2. THere was a table a little way from us with a woman and 2 boys, both in highchairs. One of about 3 and the other around 18 months (poss younger). She gets up and takes older one out of highchair and disappears for a few minutes. This other little one is on his own and competely unfazed. She returns and then later she leaves awith older one again, for a quite some time this time and the little one is calling mama. Is upsetting to see and was alreadyt concerned as she'd left him once. I kept an eye on him and when he was upset spoke to the waitress to fetch the woman (dont know if mum or grandmum) She returned and appeared to chatistise the little one and left again. The little one sucked his muzzie and thumb and just looked sad

After she returned the third time and packed them up, she lifted the youngest and put him in pushchair. Not once was their any affection visible or chatting or anything and this little one just seemed so sad.

Looking back now it really didnt feel right, you know the whole thing.

Now, is it the fact i have a lo that this upset me, or my crazy hormones or would this have worried most people?

OP posts:

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 16/02/2009 22:04

wannastartover - firstly why the link that is over a year old? Anbd secondly what is wrong with what i said in that particular thread? Thirdly - i said it as i saw it and thats that. You werent there and you didnt see it. I was and I did. But ho hum you want to think i'd embelish it all to make a posting on here as i have such a sad and lonely life you are mistaken.

Oh and did the title say - never leave you child unattended at all ever for any amount of time until they are old enough to drive? Nope i said that i think its unreasoable to leave a baby unattended, and i still do.

OP posts:

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 16/02/2009 22:06

OH and wannastartover - if my child was upset I would want to know. And as a parent and a human being if i see a child upset i will help if i can or is necessary. The baby was becoming upset and calling for mama and it was then that i asked the waitress to find the mother.

The whole completely ignore everyone else and get on with your own life really isnt in the whole community spirit imo.

OP posts:

justneedsomesleep · 16/02/2009 22:08

ohmygoodness i really now hope it wasn't me!

as i said I did leave them at the table but it wasn't for 5 mins as the op suggested - my point was imply explaining how it could happen.
And also my ds was asleep in his buggy for the first half of the meal. And when he was awake, he was quite happy to be out and about and eating his sandwiches in a restaurant!
FYI - there was a big lot of kisses and cuddles when he woke up, so I really hope I'm not the person being described.

At the same time, i pity the person who is, because to take two small children out and deal with getting them food, taking to toilet etc is difficult, especially on your own.

With regards going to toilet, I would ask dd to wait or take them both with me. Wouldn't leave them totally unattended.
Again, still not liking how this mum in pizzahut has being judged on someone's pre-conceived ideas. The reality could be totally different.

Yurtgirl · 16/02/2009 22:09

I meant to add - why didnt she ask for help? Strange not to imo and unfair on the child

I also feel that the younger child looking sad etc may be sign that actually he gets left/overlooked quite a lot

Just the thoughts I had on reading Awens post

I do think it is very odd that so many on here would apparantly abandon their lo's in this way - I wouldnt even think of doing so without asking someone to watch them, not asking and just assuming is rude imo

giantkatestacks · 16/02/2009 22:14

I think I am being very dim but if the baby hasnt got any food/hazardous materials on his tray then why is it so bad them being in the highchair unattended for short periods of time (and accept that the time in the OP was probably too long - am talking about other responses about this) - I accept that a few of them can tip it over but you'd know if you had one of them.

I generally use highchairs as a safe holding place - they are not crawling all over the floor eating things they shouldnt or messing with sockets etc, they cant go anywhere or injure themselves and so you're back to them being distressed if left (which mine really isnt for short periods of time) or you're worried about them being abducted which really isnt that likely is it.

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 16/02/2009 22:14

justneedsleep - nope it doesnt sound at all like you. And i have said it as it was and if you think i am awful and judgey then ok.

OP posts:

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 16/02/2009 22:16

yurtgirl, thanks and that is the impression i got. He was just sad. (also very very cute)

OP posts:

justneedsomesleep · 16/02/2009 22:20

Panic over! Re-read original post and I have a boy and girl, and they were not both in high chairs!
i can rest easy and sleep tonight knowing i am a 'good' mum

Still, yet again, in this scenario, it could have been the worst day ever for this mum - stressed and tired looking after a baby and toddler. So tired, she decides to go for a walk to get fresh air and while she's out, she thinks 'hey, we'll get pizza for lunch - no cooking for me and no mess/dishes to clear up at home'.
While she's at the restaurant the older boy decides he needs the toilet desperately and the mum has forgotten her change bag so quickly rushes him to the toilet. Too late as she discovers - he's had an accident so she cleans him as best as she can in a cramped pizza hut toilet (takes 5-6 mins).
Younger baby quickly left strapped in high chair in full view of diners in a restaurant.
Now repeat this scenario at least more time and the mum goes up again for more pizza.
At the end of it all she's a bit harassed and quickly and maybe a bit abruptly gets out of there...

Does this make you see things any different? Haven't you had a bad day?

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 16/02/2009 22:26

Yes it does justneedsleep, but really really wasnt like that. There was no rushing and panicking. It seemed like an everyday thing she did. And again you werent there and didnt see it. I havent overdramatised it. I have said it exactly as it was. Anyway, its over and done with and was interested to see if people would think this was ok. Some do, some dont. I still dont but life is full of differences.

OP posts:

justneedsomesleep · 16/02/2009 22:28

oh well..yummy pizza though and the bit about the no mess/dishes was my delight!

p.s lovely pics of your boys, especially the lil baby ones!

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 16/02/2009 22:32

looked at you pics too they are both beautiful, the chrismas one is fab.

And yes no washing up and yummy pizza.. mmm

OP posts:

Scoops · 16/02/2009 22:41

You're all reading far too much into this, I think.

So the baby "looked sad", maybe he was going down with a virus? Maybe she was getting on with stuff, how can you decide she has pnd and the baby is neglected based on what you've seen over a few minutes in pizza hut?

Haven't read every single post, btw. Spose I'd better do that now.

Cadelaide · 16/02/2009 22:44

By OP "Well actually we did watch him, she just didn't know".

Well there you go then. Of course she knew. Parents watch babies don't they,their own and other people's?

nappyaddict · 17/02/2009 10:32

Well where I work if it's busy you could easily be at the salad cart for 5 minutes as quite often you have to queue.

nappyaddict · 17/02/2009 10:32

Well where I work if it's busy you could easily be at the salad cart for 5 minutes as quite often you have to queue.

EyeballsintheSky · 17/02/2009 11:46

Would you all seriously leave a mobile baby in a high chair unattended? Maybe DD is exceptional then, because however well strapped in she is, she would be dangling over the side of it in seconds. And in over a year of eating out, I have never come across a restaurant high chair that has straps that are in the least bit effective. I absolutely would not trust her to be still sitting quietly when I came back.

BoffinMum · 17/02/2009 11:54

Doesn't everyone have their own straps?

I am paranoid about strapping them in properly.

Tee2072 · 17/02/2009 12:00

I am with Expat and Pottycock. I am amazed that any of you think this is okay. Maybe, like Expat, its because I wasn't brought up in the UK.

Or maybe its because things like Maddy McCain's case are still very fresh in my mind. Not that I think that particular child was in danger of being snatched, but because you never know what might happen if you leave your child unattended, for even 2 minutes.

nappyaddict · 17/02/2009 12:00

I would only leave DS unattended in a proper highchair - one with shoulder and waist straps.

seeker · 17/02/2009 12:16

There is absolutely no chance whatsoever of a child being snatched by a stranger while left for 5 minutes sitting in a high chair in Pizza Hut - and it is completely ridiculous to suggest that this is remotely possible.

OrmIrian · 17/02/2009 12:19

I'd have left mine at that age. But only to nip to the loo quickly. I certainly wouldn't have left them long enough to get upset. But mine were always quite cool and collected.

giantkatestacks · 17/02/2009 12:41

Eyeballs - I think it depends if you know your child can climb out of a highchair or not - my dd now, at 9 months, most certainly cannot if she is strapped in - if she could then I wouldnt leave her - and in fact might take my own one that goes onto a normal chair etc.

Agree with seeker about the stranger danger - I mean come on now...to be paranoid about this when most people dont even wait for the green man with their kids is ridiculous...

compo · 17/02/2009 12:48

but maybe the disabled loo was busy, ou know with a disabled person in it?
the changing rooms don't have a loo in them
so a dad would take 2 children into the urinals with him to cral around on wee stained floors? yuk!
would rather ask the waitress to keep an eye out myself

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