Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

to think that you shouldnt leave a baby unattended in pizza hut?

98 replies

MamaMaiasaura · 15/02/2009 21:50

Was in today and had lunch with dp and ds2. THere was a table a little way from us with a woman and 2 boys, both in highchairs. One of about 3 and the other around 18 months (poss younger). She gets up and takes older one out of highchair and disappears for a few minutes. This other little one is on his own and competely unfazed. She returns and then later she leaves awith older one again, for a quite some time this time and the little one is calling mama. Is upsetting to see and was alreadyt concerned as she'd left him once. I kept an eye on him and when he was upset spoke to the waitress to fetch the woman (dont know if mum or grandmum) She returned and appeared to chatistise the little one and left again. The little one sucked his muzzie and thumb and just looked sad

After she returned the third time and packed them up, she lifted the youngest and put him in pushchair. Not once was their any affection visible or chatting or anything and this little one just seemed so sad.

Looking back now it really didnt feel right, you know the whole thing.

Now, is it the fact i have a lo that this upset me, or my crazy hormones or would this have worried most people?

OP posts:

PottyCock · 15/02/2009 22:04

I've always managed fine when I've been out with dd and her friend who is four months older: awkward, yes - impossible, no.

FriarKewcumber · 15/02/2009 22:04

I'm a lazy slut - if I had a recently potty trained 3 yr old and an 18 month old - no way would I be taking them to pizza Hut on my own.

Ivykaty44 · 15/02/2009 22:04

Why was going to the loo and leaving the dc at the table wrong? I have often been on my own with my two dc. I dont quite know how I would have been able to go to the loo and get two dc in the loo with me, some loo cubicle are that small I shuffle into them and I am hardly over weight, let alone try to get two children in aswell. Plus why would a dc want to be in the loo with mummy posibly doing a poo! or changing a tampax?.

In a full restaurant if the baby was choking wouldn't another person come to the help of anyone who was choking regardless of whether they were a child in a high chair or a lone dinner out for a meal? I would find it strange in such a place for anyone to die of choking and the other customers not to notice or help or assisit in some way.

saadia · 15/02/2009 22:05

I think it's strange. I would not leave my 5 or 7yr old dss unattended anywhere in public, and I certainly wouldn't have when they were as young as that child.

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 15/02/2009 22:05

I wouldnt have minded watching him, acutally there were a few familes with little ones who we got chatting to and anyone i think would have watched im for her. Well actually we did watch him, she just didnt know.

OP posts:

PottyCock · 15/02/2009 22:05

I'd have taken both kids with me. I'm honestly gobsmacked so many people have jumped on Awen for thinking this was -in my world you just don't leave an 18mo child unattended like that.

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 15/02/2009 22:06

But she took the older one everytime and left the little one. Also it wasnt just once, twas three times.

OP posts:

myfunnynametaken · 15/02/2009 22:08

I must admit I'd have taken both kids too.

loobeylou · 15/02/2009 22:08

when DS was born I had a 5 yo, a 3yo still toilet training, and a new born. No way would I have left any of them anywhere. And yes we did go out and about.

Surely pizza hut have a disabled loo she could have taken them in with her, buggy too.

ravenAK · 15/02/2009 22:09

Yes, but it's a very public place - highly unlikely he'll choke without someone coming to his aid - he's hardly going to be snatched in that situation!

I don't think I'd leave mine as the older 2 both went through a 'separation anxiety' phase at this age - they would have almost certainly panicked unless someone was there to distract them.

EyeballsintheSky · 15/02/2009 22:14

Awen, you're not crazy. Absolutely no way I would leave 13 mo DD like that. Not a hope. No chance. We went out for lunch today and went up to the counter 5 feet away in shifts. I guess that makes me PFB but she can be out of that high chair in a flash and it would be too late for anyone to do anything about it. So shoot me.

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 15/02/2009 22:16

They had a massive loo cubicle in teh ladies for pushchairs and disabled facilities. I didnt think of that but i remember they did. Also the little one seemed sad but didnt hugely protest. Distinct inmpression this was normal for him.

OP posts:

BoffinMum · 15/02/2009 22:16

I am thinking I would have asked for a bit of help from another family as a mum in this situation. Admittedly it's tricky, the whole toilet thing with multiple small people. But I am not sure I would have abandoned the baby without involving another adult to keep an eye on things. People are usually v understanding in such circumstances, and after all, it takes a village to raise a child and all that.

scrooged · 15/02/2009 22:17

How long was she away for?

LuckySalem · 15/02/2009 22:18

If it were me, I'd have asked someone to watch DD - I did today while I went to grab her a highchair even though I pretty much knew she'd be ok.

cory · 15/02/2009 22:18

I always did seem to manage to go to the loo with a baby and a toddler. I carried a sheet of plastic mat with me so I had somewhere to plonk the baby down in the cubicle. Not very difficult as I remember it.

expatinscotland · 15/02/2009 22:19

I guess it's because I didn't grow up in the UK, but all this leaving young children on their own in a bloody restaurant whilst you go off strikes me as bizarre.

Come to think of it, though, I just asked Scottish DH what he thought.

Nope. No way he'd have left the wee one on his own.

Put him in the buggy and wheel him into the toilets, then park him outside a stall and do your business.

Cannot for the life of me imagine thinking it's cool to leave a baby or young kids on their own in public like that, or ask random strangers to look after it.

He was SAHD with two daughters and took them all over. PITA, but there's a workround other than leaving them on their own.

scrooged · 15/02/2009 22:21

It depends how long she was away for. If it was a couple of minutes then there shouldn't be a problem, we're not talking 15 are we?

Original poster

MamaMaiasaura · 15/02/2009 22:21

scrooged - 1st time was only 2-3 min's
2nd time around 6 min's - that is when i asked waitress to find her and lo was calling for mama.
3rd time about 4 minutes.

OP posts:

loobeylou · 15/02/2009 22:23

{sorry long post but contains my experience of DC almost choking - please read!}

interestingly there is another thread going about someones kid falling at a toddler group and no other parent rushing to see if he was OK, the mum was a short distance away but others right there just sat there.

Now,in the pizza hut case, the OP and other responsible people would have intervened had they seen the Lo try to go out the door by a road, or the baby try to lean out of the highchair, but other customers would not have budged from their meal.

choking is not always loud and obvious to others around, sometimes only those in close proximity who are engaged with the choker will notice what is happening, see the panic in their face or the change of colour,and realise something is wrong. DS scared us witless last spring choking silently on a cherry tomato - I was whacking him on the back, Very Hard, he was going red in the face and blue round the lips, nothing was coming up, he was shaking with fear,I picked him up and ran to the phone, tipped him upside down and whacked him some more, yelling at DD 8yo to dial 999 - she had just picked the phone and started dialling when he coughed up the tomato

he was shaking and shocked and mum and 2 big sisters were bawling their eyes out and kissing him over and over

had i been out of the room or even just had my back turned, i would not have realised what was going on till it was too late

it really sickens me when i see people on the sschool run leave young Dc eating in the car and pop into the playground for 5 mins, its always 10, and even 5 is too long!!!

LuckySalem · 15/02/2009 22:23

Awen - The first time would have been fine but 6 mins Fair enough that was not just a quick toilet call which I assumed they were.

scrooged · 15/02/2009 22:25

Hmm. I know I wouldn't want to take a baby and a toddler into a dirty toilet with me, especially if I needed a change but it wouldn't take me 4/6 mins. I can be in and out in 2 mins so maybe she wasn't in the loo. Anyway, no ones a perfect parent so I'm judging no one.

Dillydaydreamer · 15/02/2009 22:28

I regularly have been out with dd1 and 2 3y and 10mths. I would NEVER leave them unattended, not because of choking, but anyone could snatch them! If dd1 needed to wee we all went to the disabled loo, baby in arm 1 and pants of dd1 and hoik onto loo with the arm 2! Then strap baby onto changing table while I wipe and pull pants back up. I always arrange lunch where there is the facility to do this. Prior planning, which in Pizza Hut is not a problem. If dd1 was unreliable we would not do lunch out solo.

expatinscotland · 15/02/2009 22:30

Exactly, dilly.

Dillydaydreamer · 15/02/2009 22:32

I have in exceptional circumstances asked another person with children to keep an eye on dd1 while I changed dd2 at a soft play area.

Flip

1 2 3 4