To think someone should have rushed to help DS??

[sally78]

My DS is here they are everywhere but quite small still. We were at a baby group today and he was happily playing. I crossed the room to get his lunch and as I turned back to get him I saw him summersalt over a piece of furniture and fall on the floor! Lots of mums were sitting right next to him but not one moved they just looked and gasped!

I ran like the wind, he was very still for a few seconds, then let out a massive scream I felt terrible!!!!!!!!

I was upset that nobody got up, I was only about 6secs run away but it felt like forever whilst they just sat their drinking tea!

thunderduck - maddness.

Thisisyesterday - would it matter if this was baby 1,2,3,4 or 5? You don't care less (well maybe you do) the more children you have,

MrsGravy I was making the point that if people in general worry about helping children where is the line drawn??? Thundersucks example is a good one.

I would grab a child to stop them falling and hurting themselves but if they had already fallen and hurt themself then I would just call there mum over unless I knew the child very well.

Sally - Of course I'd help out if a child went to run across the street or if I saw blood or no parents around.

However, in the exact situation you described I would have let you deal with your child.

nappyaddict I think you have hit the nail on the head here. This is what has really made me cross it was a bit of a slow motion summersalt and there were plenty of mums at hand.

bodiddy - I would help your grandaparent, people forget they will be old one day, how hard for you all.

I would always pick up a child who was hurt or lost. if the paretnts were upset that would be their issue.

I had a funny reaction from a mum after returning a kid to their parents in the supermarket. But I would do it again as it would be far worse if something bad happened to a child. On the whole the parents are just in a panic so aren't thinking straight. Or embarrassed that they lost their child.

I would always pick up a child who was hurt or lost. if the paretnts were upset that would be their issue.

I had a funny reaction from a mum after returning a kid to their parents in the supermarket. But I would do it again as it would be far worse if something bad happened to a child. On the whole the parents are just in a panic so aren't thinking straight. Or embarrassed that they lost their child.

nbut sally... you were right there!!!!

i ask if he is your first because we can all be rather precious of our lovelyt firstborns. I know I was.
I can remember being scared and a little bit angry with some mums at a baby group once because they let their older children walk near my baby on the floor lol

they say him fall. they prob looked to see where you were and saw you rushing over.
there was no need for them to do anything. you said yourself you were about 6 seconds away, which is about how long it'd have taken any of them to put their tea in a safe place, get up and pick him up.

i think you're overreacting a bit.

WOW! I have been away from the UK for 6 years and I am shocked that people wouldn't help a child for fear of offending the parents.

If the same thing had happened here in Spain, the nearest mothers would have got a rollicking for not doing anything.

I think people are assessing the damage before deciding whether it's worth the "risk" of stepping in.
Had there been blood/unconsciousness etc, i'm sure the tale would have been different.
I'll always step in, FWIW, but if i see a parent approaching, will modify it to "need a hand?"
as a veteran of many a childhood mishap, you do just want your mum, and i remember being quite annoyed with helpful strangers - even the one who rescued my trapped hand from a heavy door when i was wee
ungrateful madam!

Ama - I'm afraid I blame the culture of the UK today.
Its the same as the disabled toilets thread - You dont want the child out of your sight in case something happens. But I suspect if we were living in a different country things would be handled differently.
I also think the No win no Fee stuff has a lot to answer for as well.

Actually I blame it all on Star Wars.

Your poor DS hope he's ok.

DH just throw something into the mix.......if DS had have been injuryed and another parent had moved him, we may have gone mad in case they had made him worse!

Ummmmmm as someone said before you judge every situation as you see it, I just hope everyone would help anyone in need.....young or old......

SA - Why Star wars.

I do agree it's madness if people in general are reluctant to help a child. I just don't think you can assume that was the case for you...therefore I wouldn't assume either that none of the other mums would have helped you if the situation was serious.

Despite the often overwhelming evidence to the contrary, I do try my hardest not to think that the majority of the population are stupid bastards!

6 seconds?

this deffo is your first child, isn't it?

i don't believe a word of this 'too scared to get involved' thing. i'm sure they heard you shout for him (maybe 0.25 seconds after hte incident) and figured you had it covered.

LuckySalem you are spot on with the no win no fee comment. People have been sued for being the good samaritan. As I said, it is a minefield.

It's part of the mountain leader training - if I go out for a walk and see someone in any kind of difficulty part of my assessment of the situation involves a risk assessment to myself, legally and that is wrong, morally imho.

Abso cuddly - I totally agree that we should not have a assess whether we should help someone. we should just be able to do it but its a scary world.

Do you not think that by the time the women registered what had happened you were haring across the room anyway? In effect absolving them of any need to get involved.

If you hadn't been close I'm sure they would have helped him, but really if they saw you coming then it's best they left it for you to sort out; after all, you're his mum and it would be you he wanted, not them.

I would rush to help. I'd try to be gentle and not grab him, but I can't stop myself though I know some parents will tut. I caught a distressed toddler at a soft play place the other day, who had hurt himself and couldn't find his mum and was haring around screaming - everyone saw, everyone was concerned but I was the only one to go to him - I was really worried he was going to go flying and hurt himself even more. I just said "it's OK, we will find mummy" and held onto him gently and then the staff came and took him off me with a frown. Oh well! If anyone did that for my child, and I hope they would, they would always get a thanks from me.

Luckily the staff at our nearest soft play are really on the ball with lost kids. They always seem to spot them and try to help them find their parents. I can only recall one occasion when I've been there that I've had to go over to one of the staff and say that little girl is lost.

what real parent would tut, though? i think this is all in people's imaginations.

Well done you muffle!

agree aitch

i think everyone on here is mad, 'cept me and you, thisisyesterday.

and sidge.

No they do Aitch! - there was a thread on here last week by someone who had grabbed a small boy to stop him running into the road, and the mother had then come up and said "get your hands off my child you perv". And whenever I've done it - on three occasions I've gathered up someone's lost child (that soft play one, once in a supermarket, and once in a shopping centre) until staff came to get them - I've always got slightly suspicious looks and never a thanks. But I think, someone has to do it, what if I hadn't done it and they'd got hurt or escaped from the building, or even (though of course it's very unlikely) met an actual perv? So it never puts me off.