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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just disappear?This is serious.

58 replies

MumOfBaby · 13/02/2009 19:05

Having a terrible time, as I have put on other threads. I want to just get on the train and disappear. Go and stay in a motel on my own.

DP and DS are my world. I can trust DP with DS implicitly. I just need some time to clear my head but I don't want to explain myself. I've hit the very lowest point of depression. Neither prozac or alcohol are touching this, and I considered taking an overdose tonight. For real.

AIBU? Or what?

OP posts:
cocolepew · 13/02/2009 19:07

Go and speak to your DP.

myfunnynametaken · 13/02/2009 19:07

you need to stop drinking and ring the Samaritans. Is your ds with you now. Sorry if I sound sharp. FFS don't mix prozac and alcohol.

cocolepew · 13/02/2009 19:08

Not ask a bunch of strangers if your being unreasonable or not.

Lulumama · 13/02/2009 19:08

YABU

please phone the samaritans right now

talk to your partner

talk to your GP

go to A&E and tell them you are going to hurt yourself

but most importantly , get off mumsnet, and get some proper help immediately

www.samaritans.org/

Hassled · 13/02/2009 19:09

Please call NHS Direct, who will give you some advice. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad - wish I knew what to say. But you need to talk to a professional asap. Please ring them.

jrsqueak · 13/02/2009 19:09

Not been at as low point as you are but please don't be on your own. If you need time to clear your head can you go to a friends or mums who will let you have time on your own without being on your own iyswim. x

myfunnynametaken · 13/02/2009 19:10

mumofbaby I've seen your other thread and I don't think you have a problem there. How long have you been on prozac. Maybe it doesn't suit you and that could be why you feel wretched. How old are you? Prozac not a good drug for young people.

Please keep talking to us.

Original poster
MumOfBaby · 13/02/2009 19:10

I've had PND for ages. Went to my DP today who put me on a higher dose of fluoxetine.

I love my baby though, it's not that kind of PND. I don't know what' wrong with me. I need to talk it out and get some kind of perspective.

I love my DP and DS. I really do. They are ALL I'm living for.

OP posts:
SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 13/02/2009 19:10

Please do as others have sugested and get yourself some rl help.

Things are never as bad as they seem when you are feeling low.

myfunnynametaken · 13/02/2009 19:12

whereabouts are you

Original poster
MumOfBaby · 13/02/2009 19:12

I'm 23 and frightened by myself at the moment. Although I'd never hurt anyone else, I've been self harming and I don't know how to stop. Don't want to tell GP or I'll be put away.

My last post should have said GP, not DP. DS is safe with DP.

OP posts:
Lulumama · 13/02/2009 19:12

please call doctors or samaritans

they can get a crisis team involved

if you are considering suicide, you need more help than MN can give you

cocolepew · 13/02/2009 19:13

Does your DP know you are feeling like this? If you can't speak to him do as the other posters say and go for help.
Please.

Lulumama · 13/02/2009 19:13

you won;t be put away

nor will your child be taken away

you have an illness, and just because it is a psychiatric one, it does not mean you can;t get the help you need

drinking and taking ADs will only make you feel worse

you need proper help immediately

SheSellsSeashellsByTheSeashore · 13/02/2009 19:14

You won't be put away anywhere. You will be given the help and support that you need to get better.

Please contact your GP and arrange to see someone out of hours, or call the Samaritans who will be able to advise better what the next step is to getting help.

myfunnynametaken · 13/02/2009 19:14

mumofbaby will you ring samaritans? Please?

Original poster
MumOfBaby · 13/02/2009 19:14

Although I was considering suicide earlier, I'm not now. I know I could never leave behind my Dp or DS. All three of us need each other.

But I'm so low. I just want some kind of magical answer of how to feel better, and how to stop self harming as my arms are a state and it upsets DP so much he told my mum.

OP posts:
LadyOfWaffle · 13/02/2009 19:14

Do you have a crisis team? Call them. Or nhs direct who can/will help. I wish I could type more but DS2 bashing keyboard. Wheereabouts are you?

Lulumama · 13/02/2009 19:15

you are suicidal, just because you felt like it hours ago, does not mean you are no longer suicidal now, IFYSWIm

you need to get more help

speak to doctors again tonight

they will get crisis team involved

stop drinking

be honest with your DH and other family members

Janos · 13/02/2009 19:19

Please, please, please contact NHS Direct NOW and tell them how you are feeling.

You won't be put away, you WILL get help.

I've been there and know what I'm talking about.

If you can get through the weekend then call your GP FIRST THING on Monday. If not call NHS Direct NOW.

Sorry that sounds bossy but you must help yourself, no-one else can do it for it you.

Good luck.

Original poster
MumOfBaby · 13/02/2009 19:20

I'm in Cumbria. What's a crisis team? Does it mean going into the mental hospital? I don't want to be away from DS.

OP posts:
shootfromthehip · 13/02/2009 19:21

Please remember that your brain chemistry is altered at the moment- the AD's WILL help eventually but only when the GP gets the formula right- it could take a wee while but it will happen. You are not yourself at the moment- but you can be again. This can pass. I have a horrible history of depression and my last bout was during my second pregnancy- it has now gone and yours can too- you NEED to get some help so that you can get to the other side of this and be grateful that you didn;t deprive other people of the love that you have for them, and that you didn't deprive yourself of the happiness that you will have in your future.

Being depressed does not mean that you will have your LO taken away- it means that you are not yourself.

PLEASE go and speak to someone in the medical profession or as suggested the Samaritans, or at least your DP. You can be ok again.

Janos · 13/02/2009 19:23

MumofBaby I have been there and know what you are going through. I understand how desperate you feel.

I promise, really promise it will get better.

There are mum and baby units you can go to, you don't need to be separated from your DS.

Please keep talking and please seek help.

Janos · 13/02/2009 19:24

Thinking of you. You will get a lot of support on here - people might sound bossy but only because they care.

Original poster
MumOfBaby · 13/02/2009 19:25

I just feel like my life is taken away by depression. I'm embarressed and disgusted by myself. I'm panicky and I look back on every day as horrific because I'm in a big fog of depression that I can't get out of. Even the happiest times don't feel happy. I totally repulse myself. I can't imagine anyone can be better off by knowing me.

OP posts: