Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To just disappear?This is serious.

58 replies

MumOfBaby · 13/02/2009 19:05

Having a terrible time, as I have put on other threads. I want to just get on the train and disappear. Go and stay in a motel on my own.

DP and DS are my world. I can trust DP with DS implicitly. I just need some time to clear my head but I don't want to explain myself. I've hit the very lowest point of depression. Neither prozac or alcohol are touching this, and I considered taking an overdose tonight. For real.

AIBU? Or what?

OP posts:
Lulumama · 13/02/2009 19:26

no, you will have special mental health nurses come to the house or see you at the doctors to help yuo

you might also want to ask for a referral to a psychiatrist, who will be better placed to prescribe you the right meds at the right dose and help you re the slef hamr

for now, talk to teh samaritans or oyur GP

Janos · 13/02/2009 19:27

That's the depression talking MumofBaby

Please don't be ashamed of yourself. You are a loving mum who is ill, and you need help to get better.

shootfromthehip · 13/02/2009 19:30

The fact that you are writing about the most traumatic event of you life on here suggests that you are a good, concerned and worthwhile person- otherwise you whould have done something else. PLEEASEEE get some intervention.

ScottishMummy · 13/02/2009 19:35

A&E dept has oncall psychiatric liasion they can see you

and crisis team is like out of hours service.they can come to your home and see you.you need to be known to them.

If you are not currently involved with the CRHT team and are experiencing a mental health 'crisis', you should contact your GP or Care Co-ordinator. If it is out of office hours (i.e, evenings, nights or weekends) you should contact:

Cuedoc (North Cumbria) Tel: 01228 401999

Baycall (South Cumbria) Tel: 08450 524999

Adult Social Care (Out of Hours 5pm?9am) Tel: 01228 526690
mental health emergency

crisis resolution team cumria

get immediate help.your judgement may be impaired,get some support.dont suffer alone

Janos · 13/02/2009 19:42

Excellent post ScottishMummy.

Help is available, please take it.

Janos · 13/02/2009 21:19

MumofBaby, hope you're ok and getting some help/advice.

Just thinking of you.

serin · 13/02/2009 22:48

Hello Mumofbaby, I hope you have seen Scottishmummy's post and have noted the numbers she posted. Please don't be afraid of contacting the NHS, they are not in the buisness of separating depressed mothers from their babies.

smudgethepuppydog · 13/02/2009 22:56

Please do not get on that train. Your DP will be terriefied and will spend many an hour wondering what he could've done differently to stop you from leaving. He will blame himself even though it is not his fault at all (it's not yours either, depression is a cruel illness).

Use those numbers that Scottishmummy has posted and get soem help. You desrve it, your DP deserves it and your DS deserves it.

Suicide is not an answer. I don't care how un-pc it is I'd like to send you a ((())) because depression has affected my life and I know how shit it is.

MrsPurple · 13/02/2009 23:16

thinking of you mumofbaby, had PND and still got depression, feels awlful to speak out in case of consequences.

But be reassured I spoke out about the way I was feeling and all that happened was I got the help I needed.

My DD2 is now 3 and half and it's taken a while but am on the road to recovery.

Don't be afraid it will get better, talk to your DP, and if you can't ring for help get him to.

Good luck, mn's have loads of people who have been in your position.

LucyEllensmummy · 13/02/2009 23:23

mum2baby - please don't suffer alone. I understand how you are feeling. If you feel you cannot cope, please call one of the organisations listed by the other posters here tonight. But if you really don't feel able to do that - PLEASE go and see your GP on monday. I posted on here once a thread entitled "I don't deserve my family, they are better off without me" and i felt the same as you do now. It was the lovely mumsnetters who kicked my arse to the doctors and i got help, and i promise you, you don't have to feel like this. There is help out there.

NOT once was i ever told i would be sectioned. Not even the slightest suggestion of admission. My DD wasn't even mentioned, apart from me saying to the doctor, its not her, its everything else. Like you, i was scared they would take her away or i would be shoved on some sort of at risk register. What happened was this: I was given citalopram which is the same drug family as prozac. Put on the waiting list for counselling and had to pretty much stamp my feet to get that continued, and i am still having counselling - but i am happy.I AM HAPPY and that is the scary thing isn't it. A year ago, i didn't want to live - i self harmed. But today, im not perfect (my PND was left untreated for too long!) But i am happy and i enjoy my family. It IS possible to come back from this. When i see posts like yours i have to post to say that there is light at the end of the tunnel. We can hold your hand - but you need that real life help.

Your partner sounds wonderful, lean on him - but get yourself some help because he wont be able to sort you out completely - its too much to ask.

You have a wonderful DP and DS, that, in my book is EVERYTHING to live for and to love yourself for.

please please please ask for help.

LucyEllensmummy · 13/02/2009 23:26

Also, i don't want to come across as being judgy, but honestly, i would give the booze a miss for a bit - it really doesn't mix with ADs when you are feeling like shit. It makes you worse - it makes me worse, i slip sometimes and drink too much - and for about a week afterwards, i am almost back to square one. I know what you are trying to achieve with the drinking (i do it myself) but it really is so counterproductive.

Tclanger · 13/02/2009 23:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dearprudence · 13/02/2009 23:27

Hope you're OK, MumOfBaby. As others have said, you can get help from the NHS and they will only be concerned with helping and supporting you, and getting you better. Please be honest with your GP about your feelings. Prozac may not be the best drug for you right now and the GP needs to know the whole picture so s/he can make sure the treatment is appropriate.

When you can, let us know how you're doing.

dearprudence · 13/02/2009 23:27

Hope you're OK, MumOfBaby. As others have said, you can get help from the NHS and they will only be concerned with helping and supporting you, and getting you better. Please be honest with your GP about your feelings. Prozac may not be the best drug for you right now and the GP needs to know the whole picture so s/he can make sure the treatment is appropriate.

When you can, let us know how you're doing.

Original poster
MumOfBaby · 14/02/2009 04:24

I ended up eating masses of pizza and ice cream (bleurgh) and just fell asleep. I woke at 3 and I've been up since, feeling a little worse for wear for the drink- I can see that was not a good idea. Can't sleep because I feel so panicky and frightened.

I'm glad I came to MN as it has made me realise, I NEED help at this point. Tomorrow my mum is minding the baby and DP is taking me away to make me feel better (and for Valentines) on Monday I am going back to my GP in the hope that they can give me something better than what I am on at the moment, and I want to see some kind of mental health professional. I don't know when as I'm pretty much always at work, but I hope they can sort something.

OP posts:
2sugarsandapuppy · 14/02/2009 05:59

Are you still up?

Original poster
MumOfBaby · 14/02/2009 06:05

Yep, still up!

OP posts:
LoveBeingAMummy · 14/02/2009 06:15

Work is the last thing you should be thinking about. You might feel really really bad for the next couple of days due to the drinking with your meds, there is a reason they say not too

You must go back to your GP and tell them everything, otherwise you'll never get the help you really need. can DP g with you?

Original poster
MumOfBaby · 14/02/2009 06:17

Yeah, DP will come with me. Don't think I'd go on my own. I still feel dreadful. I want to be able to put everything to one side and just have a stressfree day but I panick myself silly over every last tiny thing.

OP posts:
LoveBeingAMummy · 14/02/2009 06:19

Glad to hear DP is going with you. Like I said the next fews days could be scary with having drank.

Hope you have a nice time with Dp today

Original poster
MumOfBaby · 14/02/2009 06:20

Thanks I hope so, too.

OP posts:
2sugarsandapuppy · 14/02/2009 06:21

My heart goes out to you. Mine are 9 and 10 now, but I'm still finding it difficult to cope, not necessarily with them, but with things in general.

I've been prescribed Fluoxetine, and on Monday my GP upped my dose to 40mg a day.

Yesterday, he sent me this:

Dear 2sugars,

Just to let you know that our Psychologist, Dr Dixon, has indeed opened her waiting list, so I have referred you to her.

She will indeed be in contact in the next week or so to offer you an appointment.

I hope you find this helpful.

Yours,

Dr MC

I, too, have been mixing antidepressants with alcohol. If you want to get in touch, it's madamebutterfly at ntlworld dot com.

All love in the meantime. xxx

Janos · 14/02/2009 09:16

That's really grear mumofbaby - nowt wrong with pizza and ice cream but it can make you feel a bit bloated after

Glad you are going to your GP on Monday, hope you can let us know how it goes.

Bertino · 14/02/2009 09:23

Ring Samaritans now if you have the chance

MuthaHubbard · 14/02/2009 14:00

mumofbaby - i'm in south cumbria, if you need a 'friendly stranger' (if you know what I mean) to chat to, let me know. Sometimes it can be good to off load to someone who isn't close to you.