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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want bad news on my birthday

55 replies

dancingonmice · 12/02/2009 18:57

MIL called at breakfast to give us some bad news. The husband of her friends daughter has very sadly passed away. We do not know this couple, but their baby was due on the same day as our DD, both first grandchildren so we were kind of connected by experience.

Have felt sad all day, what an awful thing to happen to a young family and completely out of the blue. But I think it was selfish of my MIL for calling to tell us this news on my birthday. She was upset so wanted to talk to DP but I feel like the right thing would have been to wait 24 hours or to confide in one of her friends. My MIL does push my buttons so I genuinely want to know whether others think I am BU or not?

OP posts:
Thunderduck · 12/02/2009 18:59

YABU.

2shoesformyvalentine · 12/02/2009 18:59

yabu

Thunderduck · 12/02/2009 18:59

Make that YABVU.

PottyCock · 12/02/2009 19:00
Hmm
rubyslippers · 12/02/2009 19:01

YABU

utterly

Bubbaluv · 12/02/2009 19:03

Unless it was your 12th birthday YABU I'm afraid.

TheFallenMadonna · 12/02/2009 19:04

What bubbaluv said.

Original poster
dancingonmice · 12/02/2009 19:05

Bloody hell, that told me. I'll admit that my judgement may be clouded where MIL is concerned, have to rethink my attitude!

OP posts:
ComeWhineWithMe · 12/02/2009 19:07

How selfish of him to die on your birthday .

Original poster
dancingonmice · 12/02/2009 19:08

ComeWhineWithMe, that has nothing to do with it.

OP posts:
cat64 · 12/02/2009 19:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

comparethePeachydotcom · 12/02/2009 19:10

She called because she was upset and needed someone to tell.

It is easy to not think strauight when you have MIL issues I know. Oh yes I KNOW>

Happy Birthday.

tiggerlovestobounce · 12/02/2009 19:10

YABVU

Original poster
dancingonmice · 12/02/2009 19:10

I know it is a terrible thing to happen. The worst. But we don't know this couple, have never met them. Just thought maybe she didn't have to tell us for 24 hours.

OP posts:
sobanoodle · 12/02/2009 19:12

Fil died on dh's birthday.

Original poster
dancingonmice · 12/02/2009 19:12

comparethePeachy that is a generous comment. I can see by the consensus though I have not been the same myself today.

OP posts:
LoveMyLapTop · 12/02/2009 19:12

YABU
Chhildish
and self centred

Original poster
dancingonmice · 12/02/2009 19:15

Isn't a birthday the one day of the year you get to be a bit self centered?

OP posts:
ComeWhineWithMe · 12/02/2009 19:16

Oh FFS have you actually looked at what you are writing ...grow up please.

TheFallenMadonna · 12/02/2009 19:16

Up to a point. Which you have passed with some style I think.

idlingabout · 12/02/2009 19:19

I can understand where the op is coming from as it sounds like the mil puts her needs/worries first and foremost without stopping to think about how they impact her son and dil. But I might be reading too much into that??
Did your mil even wish you a Happy Birthday 'dancing'? Hope you are having a better day now.

Original poster
dancingonmice · 12/02/2009 19:19

Ok my last comment was inexcusable. I am feeling pretty ashamed now.

OP posts:
mylifemykids · 12/02/2009 19:19

If you don't know them and have never met them then why is it bothering you so much?! Did you really expect MIL to think 'Oh I want to talk to my son about this but as it's her birthday I'd better keep it to myself for 24 hours?'

YABVU

Servalan · 12/02/2009 19:20

But your MIL did know them - had received devastating news and wanted to talk to someone close to her.

Also, I bet that hearing the news of a man dying before his time with a connection of experience to your DP probably made her want to hear your DP's voice and to connect with him.

Bearing that in mind, do you honestly think that she should have let that fester inside for 24 hours when she needed support and the comfort of hearing her son's voice, just in case you got a bit upset on your birthday?

Sorry, but I'm afraid I have to join in the consensus here that YABVU

TheFallenMadonna · 12/02/2009 19:23

Happy Birthday dancingonmice BTW